Nine month review // May - June

It’s getting to the point where each month blurs into the other: the rhythm of life has become so smooth and slick that I barely notice as time passes away and I head further and further towards my leaving date. I can’t remember what was in this month and last month and frankly my emotions have been so high and low over the past few weeks that it feels like a month in itself! I want to apologise for having not blogged a little more but frankly I’ve been horrendous at updating all my social medias over the last month (Instagram in particular suffered a sad neglect as suddenly my photo-taking suffered an unprecedented drop), and it’s just a little fun for me and so I shouldn’t feel pressured or guilty for not doing so. This month has been a very reflective one as I look towards the end and towards new beginnings once again, and how all the pieces of my life at the moment might carry through to my life at University once it begins in September. My world will temporarily return to what I have known when I move back with my parents for all of seven weeks and then I will return to education in this weird place up North where there are no sirens before bed and people of my own age everywhere and books to read and no tube sweat. I’ve got a whole new environment to adapt to ahead and looking back on these reviews is reminding me on how far I’ve come this year, how much I’ve learnt and how capable I am to do so.

There is a distinct lack of pictures this month due to business and general laziness. This makes me sad because I love photography and have lost my groove with it this month. So, somehow, words will have to made do, especially since the photos I did take aren't too high quality and seem to be butchered as soon as they make it online, no matter how I edit them.

1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?
Every month I make a mental note about the answer to this and by the time I come to blog, completely forget it. The problem is, I think, that in London you see so many strange happenings that they pass you by. On an inspiring note, I saw a huge group of people cycling for Help the Heroes last Sunday over Tower Bridge.

2) Particular highlights of this month?
By far I think a highlight has been doing a trip to see a few friends at different Universities and getting out of London for a while at a time where I was feeling a little under pressure and really missing familiar faces. I didn’t get to catch up with some of them as I would have liked over their Easter break because of timing so it was great to spend 24 hours with a few people watching films, exploring their campus’ and generally having a natter. I went to the cutest cafe that was Alice in Wonderland themes and ate Walnut cake (one of my faves), ate very nice but largely unhealthy food, drank tea, went to the most hipster Costa coffee I have seen and stayed up later than I have all year. I was tired and exhausted by the time I returned to London but simply taking a glimpse into my friends lives was so worth it. It made me wish that I had made the time to do it sooner and more frequently over the year. It was a three day escapade that made me excited for more times with my school friends over summer.

This concoction was made by my friend when I stayed with her in halls. It has salmon on it. Student life is not what I thought it would be. 

I have also been enjoying the sunshine this month, especially at breakfast time when I can explore our small, overgrown garden and on Sundays where I always have the afternoons free to sit in the local churchyard and hang out with my housemates or read, all crammed on one blanket. I’m not too good with the heat so I don’t last long and eventually retreat to the cool air of my bedroom but getting out of those four walls during the more rainy periods of May has been lovely.

The flowers and reflections found in our small garden - someone's been secretly hard at work!

I also went to the British Museum last Saturday with a friend which was fascinating. I haven’t been to the British Museum for a good year and a half and that was for a special Shakespeare exhibition so going there to see the more permanent exhibits was very worthwhile. We barely made a dent on the museum and were there until we felt our legs were going to drop off so it is worth a return. I also spent a Saturday with my mum this month, trundling along Oxford Street in the search of some clothes suitable for this hot weather. I don’t necessarily miss living at home but I do miss seeing my family more regularly and love the fact that I am only a short train ride away if they wanted to see me. It’s going to be hard when I move a four hour train journey away in September and won’t see them for over two months. In terms of mid-week treats, seeing Maleficent was definitely a good choice, and free because my housemate kindly paid with her Odeon loyalty points. I am very picky about films that I see and this definitely exceeded my expectations, the graphics and cinematography were beautiful and Angelina Jolie had so much poise.

I often find the ceilings of museums more fascinating that the artefacts inside them. The majority of my photos from the British museum confirm this.

3) Favourite part of your work this month?
The introduction of iced latte and Iced tea has been a welcome one, and I am, frankly, a little bit obsessed. I have been relishing all things cafe culture this month as I seek work in a coffee shop and I think that I identify as a coffee snob now.

4) Least favourite part of your work this month?
My routine has been interrupted somewhat with new arrivals and volunteers and I suppose that this late on in my year, I am not coping well with change, especially if I feel like my roles are being taken away from me that I really enjoy or was looking forward to be a part of. I have limited time left and I want to squeeze all the goodness out of it possible!

5) Hardest part of your work this month?
One thing I have learned about myself this month is that I pile unnecessary pressure on myself which is unhealthy and drives me into anxiety and worry over things that don’t exist (like this blog readership). In short, I exhausted myself by inactivity because in my quiet moments my worries drove me to nothing, and then I felt guilty, and then I was stuck. It all stems from a mindset that I have as a woman of ambition who constantly strives to be more in all things but finds herself helplessly falling short of it and being sent into despair, losing my core identity and all motivation. I found myself feeling tired and grumpy doing a job I loved and then feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing my job well because I was tired and grumpy with all my worries about nothing and non-existent pressure. It’s been a tough ride, but I have finally rested myself. Just about. Maybe.

... and this pear and walnut cake certainly helped to lift my mood at the end of the day!

6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?
Inspiring, Innovating, Iced! The first two words refer to a lot of exciting changes which I believe will take everything forward, inspiring new people joining the team and all the envisioning going on among my personal team. It’s just a shame I won’t be there to drink it all in as it happens.

7) Weird habits developed this month?
This month hasn’t been too weird and I haven’t had many fads. I suppose my biggest habit this month has been obsessively watching Nashville and rewatching Heroes. I am glad this is coming to an end so that I can finish those books I never finished last month and those which I have started reading this month. I have also fallen back into my summer habit of eating ice cubes, which is especially hard at work when we have an ice cube maker staring at me all day and all I want to do is fill a bowl with ice and crunch it. Yep.

8) What are you missing most about home this month?
I feel like this answer is a culminating of all the answers that I have put all year: my friends, my family, and the silence and privacy of being able to step outside and go for a walk without there being people everywhere you go. I have grown to be intolerant of tourists even though I still feel like one. And, more superficially, I miss the income my paper round used to bring in and feeling like I had my own money to spend on things other than food and travel. One of the most irritating things about this year has been having the whole of London to explore yet not having the money to do it: every day out means lunch has to be accounted for or you end up hauling round food and drink on the tube. I’ve been keen to go to the Tower of London all year but it takes a huge chunk out of my money right now. Even if I do find things that I want to do, I miss having all the friends to do it with who will enjoy it just as much and make spending the money worth it. No one in my house is into art and so I go to galleries alone which can be a pretty isolating experience on a Saturday. 

Even though London might be expensive, sunsets and architecture are free. Winning combination! Taken at a bus stop in Aldgate.

9) Best Housemate moment?
Celebrating one of my housemate’s birthdays with a curry and company. We spent the evening playing stupid games in our living room and having one of the funniest evenings in a while. Just taking that time for around ten of us to sit round a table is rare and special. Like I said last month, I am appreciating all the time we are spending just chilling out together in the evenings having a chat or watching a film, eating dinner together. As much as I enjoy our little outings (and we have a great one planned for a few weeks’ time) those times are the times which make the difference to your week and mood and I am grateful for them. I am anticipating many more evenings together as world cup season approaches!

The best rosetta I have made all year!

10) Discoveries this month?
Using the depop app to find cheap, second hand clothing (I bought a beautiful bag for £6 - can't go too wrong!); how GOOD the avocado and green bean salad is in Nandos; the aforementioned British Museum; vscocam editing app; Iced lattes; one-pot cous cous; this beautiful etsy shop where I recently bought a new laptop bag in preparation for University.

Hope this has helped you to reflect on all the little and big things in your months, too. It is certainly helping me to remember things that so easily would have passed me by this year.

-Antonia