Eight Month Review // April - May

Although this hasn't been a ‘proper’ month of work as I have had my Easter time off, I have so little time left of my adventures in London that it feels extra important to document as much as I can of it before I forget. I have realised that no matter how hard I tried to remember everyone who I meet who was in need, or how I really felt when I first moved, or every funny moment that happened in London, the pace of life has chucked most of it out. Maybe our brain holds onto more than we search for which is why we need so many reminders: our past writings, our social media, our pictures and videos. And this is another! Even in my journal I do not comprehensibly write out parts of my life or things I have been doing so looking back on these allows me to see how much I’ve grown and remember all the amazing things that I have done this year, all the moments of friendship shared with old friends and new, all the moments of hardship that I have overcome or have been seasons which I have come out of the other side stronger for. I have reached the point where I have realised that this life I live now and am starting to thrive off will come to an end and it will be all change once more in October. More awkward beginnings to new friendships, settling back into a life where all my food is cooked for me (at least for my first year), moving to a new place (goodness gracious, the far north!) and actually having little routine compared to now. But since I still have three of these to go, I’d better stop thinking about the end and reminisce on the last month!

1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?

I was walking home and saw a group of men all wearing those hats that hold two beers on either side. It made me chuckle because at first I thought that they looked like they were wearing Santa outfits in May and then because I thought that the contraption on their head made it look like they had antlers. I suppose one of the weirdest things also has to be the fact that one day my housemates and I all strolled down a busy main road with pans of soup, bowls of food and plates to the local park to eat dinner, just because we fancied it.

2) Particular highlights of this month?

I was off work for one week, which was a highlight in some respects: it allowed me to meet up for coffee with two of my closest friends and catch up with them. I miss both of them so much and it is so much harder to keep in contact with even your close friends when life is so busy and I am so lazy. Two of my friends from school also had a joint birthday picnic on my first Saturday back which was lovely but short-lived. Everyone brought food, and there was certainly an excess of strawberries which I took full advantage of, especially since they were chocolate covered. Annoyingly, I had just come back from a work trip to a conference two days before and had had a busy day on Good Friday (which was the day before) and was almost too shattered to really make the most of the fact that all of my friends were in one place as used to be so often the case. I just felt a bit overwhelmed and for this reason was part of a small party that went home early. Nevertheless, it was amazing to see that everyone was well, that everyone was enjoying the new stages in their lives and that in many ways old friendships were still going strong.

In my week off I also enjoyed the novelty of resting! I managed to read quite a few books that I had half-started before, but also less productively watched a whole season of New Girl. By the end of the week I was itching to get back to work because I felt so lazy. Since returning to London town I have enjoyed my first trip to Five Guys for my housemates birthday and made more than good use of their coca-cola machine as we concocted different flavours and tried to guess what was in the cup. Their chip portions are amazing (you don’t need any bigger than a regular) and you get free peanuts, too: I was sold. After this I returned to Trafalgar Square and we climbed Nelson’s column (as far as one can) and jumped onto the lions which guard it. It was a time full of ridiculous selfies and an evening well spent. I also spent the majority of the bank holiday weekend with my housemates. We went to the Southbank in the hope of free food from the excess amount of food stalls but ended up being crushed and faced with monstrous queues. Though our plan didn’t exactly work out we took the time to walk and talk as we walked along the river in the sunshine before heading off to go to One New Change at St Pauls: I had been there before but only in the dark and have to say that it is much better in the day as you aren’t greeted with a polluted skyline but a clear view of London for free! We then attempted to get some reduced fruit at Borough Market on our way home but failed. It was lovely just to take time in London walking around, appreciating the sunshine and drinking in our surroundings: too often people feel preoccupied in doing things that you don’t actually talk to who you are with or take notice of where you are.

This last weekend has been a favourite, as I met up with some friends from school who I hadn’t spoken to in ages. We sat in Camden Coffee House’s little garden round the back until it chucked it down with rain, and then in the downstairs of the coffee shop itself for hours before moving round to explore Camden. The rain scuppered our plans to go to Regent’s park and to enjoy the stalls properly (as did our lack of funds) so we dived into a Chinese restaurant where you sat on a cushion on the floor and then dangled your legs down into a hole in the floor where the table legs were. It was highly weird and when the waiters came over to take your order, you suddenly felt very small! We then got trapped in the rain (again) and decided to call out outside ramblings a day and headed off to Patisserie Valerie to eat cake and grab another coffee. This lasted another three and a half hours and it was honestly a really precious and rare time for me that I really treasure as I go into my week. It is a shame that these days are so occasional but it means that I appreciate these old friends even more and can celebrate in how their lives are evolving, changing and how they are growing as people. I didn’t get any pictures of this even though I dragged my camera around all day simply because I was enjoying their company so much. Times like that are worth not piercing with the glare of a camera lens and a pressure to smile.

3) Favourite part of your work this month?

Ah, it’s good to be back. I read a book called “Every Good Endeavour” by Tim Keller over my break and it revolutionised the way I approached the less-favourable tasks in my work such as the Monday morning cleaning, packing away deliveries etc. which can all be far too physical for a Monday morning! We also had loads of time to get out into the community and connect with lots of different people that we hadn’t seen for two weeks with us being away and having no time in the week before that. It’s a part of my work which I really value and sometimes if things are too busy in the running of the cafe we really have a limited time. I also got myself back into making coffees (how I missed getting it for free – I’m not paying £3 for that, thank you!) and perfecting my latte art. I have also been taking walks home for the last few weeks which has been a nice refreshing end to each day, especially since I have taken the opportunity to explore the posher side to where I work which is closer to the Thames and has all this amazing architecture to it, as well as cobbled streets (I do love a cobbled street). It’s a lot nicer than walking along the cycle highway!

This month has also been a more successful month for my latte art. I don't get as much time to practise as I would like so was stunned when I absent mindedly created this for myself one lunchtime!

Perks of working at a cafe: free Apple & Cinnamon cake. It is our fastest selling cake and freshly made and one of the only things the staff will willingly pay out for.

4) Least favourite part of your work this month?

Part of my work involved going to lectures and I suppose that I only realised that the amount of work is getting bigger and bigger a few days ago. We have lots of reading to do each week, coursework due and an exam to prepare for in June while we are still doing all the learning for it. It has the potential to be stressful if I don’t get on top of things soon and fitting it all around a 9-5 job which can be quite physically and emotionally draining doesn’t exactly motivate me when I could be in the lounge having a laugh with my housemates or watching a film together.

5) Hardest part of your work this month?

I think from now on it will be the lack of free time in the evenings and possibly weekends: especially when we are getting some glorious sunshine now! Also I think carrying some people’s emotional turmoil can be hard. We don’t just treat those we visit as clients who we need to find jobs for or help out on a surface level: we come alongside them as friends and get personal. It is a risk that we take so that we can share our lives with them and the most important thing in our lives: our faith in Christ. We are still struggling along with this lady who we have done so much for and who sometimes stubbornly doesn’t listen to our advice because she wants to go her own way – a way which we see doesn’t lead to the security which she desperately needs when her benefits inevitably run dry.

6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?

Chuckles, chaos, chipper. Do love me some British slang. Do love me some words beginning with the sound 'ch'!

7) Weird habits developed this month?

Starting to read too many books and then, after about a week, neglecting them. I managed to finish two of them but then just starting three more within days of one another and now I find it hard to chose which one to read in the evening. I don't know why this has happened but I do know that now I don't feel like I can favour one book or another, so they will have to go on a rotation and I will have to finish them all at the same time.

8) What are you missing the most about home this month?

My sister! Her texts telling me of how she wants to squish Prince George are hilarious and I found the birthday card she gave me last year which had such witty comments inside and it made my day. I’ve had a bit of time to hang out with her but always among other family. It also makes me sad that she has just started her GCSE’s and I can’t be there for her in person, because I remember how stressed I was and how much I relied on the support of my family and even her, though she knew little of how I felt. I guess I’m now also missing my friends now I’ve ‘tasted and seen’ them (sounds weird, doesn’t it?) and the people that I was especially closest to.

9) Best housemate moment?

I feel like hanging out with my housemates that bit more this month has really lifted my mood – and not even going out with them but just those conversations on the sofa in the evening, reading our Bibles together in Potter’s Field (right by the River) and joking about funny town names or names of people in Biblical times, cooking together, eating breakfast together. It is the little things that make a big difference. I feel especially closer to another housemate than I have before this month and that is always lurvely. We also had our last house birthday yesterday and we had such a lovely evening eating, chatting, laughing in a very undignified manner (snorting and table slapping involved) and generally messing about. Many of us didn’t see one another for 3 weeks so it was good to have another big get together other than the Five Guys trip to just enjoy one another’s company.

10) Discoveries this month?

I finally bought the Of Monsters and Men album (it was £2!) and it is excellent and perfectly smooth and uplifting for walking home as the sun sets. Gosh, my life is a cliché at the moment! Also discovered are: agirlcalledjack.com (amazing cheap recipes, all costed out – how did I cook on budget before?); Five Guys; my lack of ability to read one book at a time (currently reading 3); soya milk; Camden Coffee house; Camden Market; the wonders of soundcloud.

... and on the note of Soundcloud, here is a song I have been loving. I have generally been loving listening to instrumentals since working at a cafe full of artist hipsters who play the most amazing remixes. This one I found all by myself and contains few lyrics but it just makes me feel hugely chilled out, like I want to pull up a deckchair and sit in the sun. Alas!

How has your month been? Hope you've had some amazing moments of friendship, too.

-Antonia

Looking Up

Spending my evening flitting between Youtube and my Facebook, I stumbled across a video shared by a friend that I thought relayed an important message for a generation where technology becomes a replacement for face-to-face interaction. This video, "Look up", has over 700,000 views on YouTube and a very interesting discussion going on in the comment section about the pros and cons of social media and the new world of technology that we are engrossed in.

Firstly, I have to give a huge applause to how the creator of this outstanding video communicated his ideas, using a moment where a human interaction lead to a whole life with a stranger imagined out but one which could have been easily snatched away by our reliance on technology. Of course, it is dramatised and we sit there and feel that it is highly unlikely that we would miss out on such a huge part of life simply by looking up directions on Google maps rather than asking a stranger, but I feel like it emphasises many of his other points. I remember a life where children weren't just plonked in front of a TV as their source of entertainment, and I regularly lament the fact that I don't go out and just explore the world as I used to as a child, with a love of the outdoors, for playgrounds and for imagination. I hugely dislike the fact that iPads in particular are being bought for children's use rather than them building a fort, picking up some drawing pencils, or creating their own games with friends which leads to crucial development. In my own adult life, I have turned to scrapbooking to escape my default actions to check my various social medias or to watch TV that I don't even enjoy simply because I haven't thought imaginatively of anything else to do.

I have experienced times where I have sat down with a friend for coffee and the conversation quickly turns to things that we saw on Twitter or Facebook rather than actually discussing things in our hearts. Worse, I have sat down with friends only for them to check those apps rather than speak to the person sitting in front of them, with the only involvement on my part being listening to things that they are reading from their feeds. The title, "Look up", is apt for this situation, and something that I often want to scream at people this happens because I feel dehumanised, replaced by a communication facade.

He also makes the point that social media is where we "show our best bits, but not our emotion", and in many ways I wholeheartedly agree. There are the odd few that are almost that bit too honest over the internet, but largely we paint pictures of ourselves that we want others to see whether we are aware of it or not. We become a person without much of a personality. Too many times I have been obsessed with recording a moment to share rather than simply experiencing it and enjoying the company of those around me, whether that be in the form of an Instagram, a tweet or a Snapchat story. I also agree that social media creates a feeling of loneliness: how many people sit on Facebook for hours, with many people online chatting, just not to them? Even then, the chats are full of distractions from the six other tabs open in your computer as you shop for a new pair of shoes, look up a holiday, scroll through twitter or a news website (or even write this blog...). You are rarely given full attention and with delayed replies and the inability to read someone's face or tone of voice miscommunication is frequent and conversations can trail off with no official ending.

However, I also see the benefits of it. Twice I have done a 48 hour blackout from technology: my social media, my phone, my laptop. I also didn't speak for those 48 hours, so this 21st century fast was probably one of those most isolated I have ever felt because I had very few ways to communicate, and in that time I longed for just one conversation over text which could quell that loneliness. I have seen the rise of vlogging and the amount of people who find community in comments sections of blogs and weird corners of the internet. I just wonder if this community comes at the expense of friendship which involves eye contact and real 'lol' moments rather than the constant sound of typing on a keyboard and emoticons replacing any form of body language.

Something that I know I need to do is to communicate more, especially at a time where all the friends I have had for years are scattered across the country: this just made me realise the value in doing it face-to-face, to look up and make time and not use technology as an excuse to be lazy with the friendships that I have.

What are your thoughts?

-Antonia