Three months have rolled by really fast, and I feel somewhat disappointed with my lack of 'achievement'. Up until this point in my life, school measure your progress in detail, so you always know where you are heading, how you are improving, and you can feel accomplished and pleased over Christmas with your efforts thus far. This time last year, I had applied to University, just done my interview at Cambridge (which was actually horrifying, but to get to that stage in the process was an achievement nonetheless) and had bagged a place at Durham, which was my true favourite all along. Christmas was around the corner, and I was loving the opportunity to spend time with my friends and, with the permission of my History teacher, pretty much took all of Christmas off in terms of work, as a reward for my efforts.
At the time, I hated the relentless monitoring, but at the end of the day it was the ego boost I needed and gave me plenty of show-off material around the endless family visiting. Perhaps I am painting myself one year ago somewhat arrogantly, and harshly, but I know my brain. That is the way I think when I am driven by systems of success, which is exactly why I wanted a year out of them!
This year, I can boast of little while munching on a Turkey. I often struggle to see what all my hard work, and tears, have really contributed in a wider sense. At work, you aren't often praised, as you are merely doing what is expected of you. Even though I am unpaid, I figure that this still stands, and it actually led to a lot of frustration on my part midway through the term: my ego just needed the praise to keep running! I did this scheme because I wanted to make a difference in the community, to bring hope and relationship (and Jesus!) into people's lives. It turns out that many people aren't willing to accept that, and if they are, they make it extremely difficult. I have worked myself harder and felt guilty on days where I felt that I had achieved nothing. It is a constant struggle which doesn't bring a grade A at the end like it always has. Usually, it brings a U.
Usually my reviews have been a mix of positive and negative due to the questions I have set, but I felt that this as a round up was a highly appropriate and a brutally honest prologue examining how I am changing and what I am learning this year. And now, for some cheery questions!
1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?
There has been a huge influx in the amount of people I have seen in Santa costumes. Once, I saw a load of them running over Tower Bridge and I presumed that it was a one-off for charity. A few days later I saw them again getting on the tube. The world of twitter tells me that they are slowly invading many crevassess of London, Doctor Who style.
UPDATE: The lady has stopped riding her pink scooter over Tower Bridge on her morning commute.
2) Particular highlights of this month?
See my earlier blog post about my mission around London for charity! I also have had the chance to see a few familiar faces, going up to Oxford for a Pray for Syria event and seeing one of my best friends, going to Spitalfields market and eating delicious food, as well as seeing Disney's Frozen, which was surprisingly hilarious. Olaf the talking snowman made that film so much better (especially when he was pining for summer, not realising that he would melt, which produced both a sentimental aspect but also became the source of some rather humorous bits!), and I have to admit that I liked the message of the film. Without giving too much away, it wasn't a kiss that set the female protagonist free (hurrah!) and it definitely seemed to be heading that way and I internally groaned until the last moment!
3) Favourite part of your work this month?
At the Cafe we held our Makers Market which aimed to support local businesses, most of whom were starting up, and local people who made too much stuff to warrant their hobby. This meant staying in the Cafe until 10pm the day before, getting their earlier, multiple staff, rushing around frantically, talking to stallholders and encouraging them, organising carol singing, drinking lots of spiced apple juice, and seeing many familiar faces from people at my home church who came to support me! It was an amazing event, the place was packed, and I finished off my Christmas shopping before December even hit. Score, I'll say.
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| We moved all the comfy chairs to the back of the cafe so the front could be a full-size market space and the back was a nice cushy space (complete with fairy lights!) This was taken just as we opened, before the mad rush! |
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| The gallery space, which usually stands empty, was transformed into a cafe area using the tables from the roof terrace! |
4) Least favourite part of your work this month?
I feel like I am finally comfortable behind the counter, and generally in all aspects of my work now, so now my least favourite thing is staying in the cafe for too long, or being so busy in the cafe that customer interaction and relationship building gets pushed aside just to keep the place running. It often means that we don't get to do as much visiting as we would like. I love the cafe, but the real reason this year meant so much is the outreach side of things, the community aspect. Sometimes I get waves of sadness that this is getting lost and I am merely becoming a retail worker, albiet in a very friendly and communal space.
5) Hardest part of your work this month?
I haven't been feeling too well this past week, and before that my sleep patterns were a bit crazy, so it has been dealing with this while having the energy to run around the cafe and, more crucially, be able to listen to the stories of those we visit and be alert. This month has been especially draining.
6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words?
Brilliant, busy, Ben(& Jerry's)
7) Weird habits developed this month?
This isn't weird for most, but I have always been an early riser, so staying up/out late is quite weird for me, and I have had to roll out of bed and rush to get ready far too many times for my liking (yet how I still get there early is beyond me!). I don't much like it though, and I hope to get back to my normal routine soon! And to explain the above, I have consumed a lot of Ben & Jerry's, and it works as wonderful comfort and throat soothing food.
8) What are you missing the most about home this month?
The quietness. When in Oxford, I walked lonely streets and there were no people to bump into. I then went home for a few days the week after because I had a day off in lieu and I just walked around my local area. I even walked the route that I used to walk back from the bus stop at around the same time and was filled with a sense of nostalgia as I remembered all the things I used to peruse about while I walked those streets, and just how nice it was to have those snatches of peace and quiet which are near impossible to get here. I have grown used to the rush of traffic, but its the constant stream of people that I can't cope with as I walk home and you just want the thinking space to be alone with the breeze.
9) Best housemate moment?
Last week we had our house Christmas dinner made for us by the hostel wardens. I have no pictures of it (yet) but they will be added when I do! It was complete with Schloer - as with any Christian gathering - crackers, cheesy Christmas music and pavlova for pudding, my favourite. We also all got together and played a game which has become rare, as the time we spend together is little and normally has the telly in the background, which I am growing to dislike quickly. However, I do believe that we have become a lot closer, it's just a shame that we're not all around together more often. In more Christmas-related joy, we had a wonderfully evening singing along to the Buble Christmas album while decorating our tree which was absolutely hilarious.
10) Discovery of the month?
Arthur Christmas has become one of my favourite Christmas films. I would normally write off animations simply because I normally don't find them funny or particularly entertaining, but I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by this.
And that was an even longer, more rambly review than last month! If you stayed to the end you get multiple cyber hugs. Unless you are a man. Then get away.
-Antonia
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