Six Month Review // February - March

It has all been a bit mad recently, and in the midst of everything I realised that this life-changing experience of mine is nearly over. With little over four months to go and with so much more of London to explore and so much more of myself to give and a great God to learn from and equip me, it is all been a little overwhelming. Well, that, and realising that my laptop charger has to be laid to rest (hence, the delay of this post). Once again I turn to the questions I set myself in September with a few additions to see what I am making of it all, and to remind myself of all I should be grateful for. This process has really been amazing in helping me to see how I am growing month on month, seeing my struggles and my burdens, what I enjoy and what I dislike.

Hold tight, there are a lot of pictures this month!

View from Tower Bridge

1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?
When we were en route to Greenwich Park we saw a street performer on a ladder with only his leopard print boxers juggling with knives outside the Cutty Sark. I have pictures (but will show you the one where he is fully clothed!)

2) Particular highlights of this month?

I have already written about my main highlights in these blog posts  where I shadowed a few different things to get a broader experience of my work. As this month I hit the 6 month mark and went past the halfway point in my gap year it was great to try new things and get a fresh perspective.

There has been a vast array of things that I have been enjoying in my spare time this month:

·         Walking in parks. I finally went down the road to Southwark Park and within the last two weekends have seen Greenwich Park at sunset and picnicked in Victoria Park. Walking around in the sun on my own or with others has been such a blessing and has really made me have those moments of stillness which seem to be rare in a busy, chaotic, messy London.  I have been so blessed by my church, going to people’s houses for lunch, taking a walk along Regent’s Canal, meeting for dinner have been amazing chances to have a community of supportive and interested people who are really looking out for me. This year has really made me appreciate the gift of community and friendship and finding that in such a densely populated city where everyone is a stranger has been such a comfort.
·         Actually, on reflection, I’ve had so much time to dedicate to friendship this month and I met up with two friends from school one evening and we walked around for a long, long time catching up and seeing sights. Another evening I went to see The Duck House and had dinner at Nando’s with one of my best buds who kindly visited me when she was on reading week. More of this, please!
·         Going into Shoreditch for a couple of hours and seeing Phlegm’s exhibition ‘The Bestiary’ at the Howard Griffin Gallery. It was pretty mesmerising and I just love the fact that it felt so childlike, yet so grotesque, disturbing and horrific at the same time. It was Street art in a hugely three-dimensional and engaging form and though it was small, it was well worth seeing.
·         Getting lost in Canary Wharf shopping centre with my sister before heading out into Zone 4 to see our cousins and eat pizza.

3) Favourite part of your work this month?

I have really enjoyed seeing how thee cafe is continuing to expand as a community - we started a revamped sewing class a few weeks back and it is bringing a diverse group of people who are really starting to connect and make friends. We also had one of our regulars put up an exhibition of his artwork, from which he has even sold eight pieces. He couldn't be more chuffed and I am so pleased that we can support him through this, almost rewarding his longstanding custom!

4) Least favourite part of your work this month?

I have made a fair few clumsy errors. Think tripping up stairs and smashing a plate on the wall, staining it with turmeric type of drama. It is embarrassing and not exactly what our customers expect of the atmosphere! I was going to have to take on a few extra responsibilities but that didn't happen and I have to say I am pretty relieved about that because I was dreading it to no end.

5) Hardest part of your work this month?

This month (especially the last two weeks) has been hard simply because my energy has been low and I’ve been stuck in a rut of negative thoughts: thinking I have to prove myself, do better, work harder, all so that others can look at me and be impressed. I have always struggled with wanting others to view me and see value and I suppose this is one way that it is expressed. It isn’t intentional but when I sit down and think about why I am disappointed with the day that I’ve had, it’s because I don’t feel like I’ve done enough to be worthy of my place there. It is self-criticism which drives me to despair and is not what my faith teaches me to see about myself. I am to see someone who is useful even when broken and weak, who is valued in the eyes of her Creator in spite of if she works hard, does better, is impressive or valued or loved.


6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?

Parks, peanut butter, pals [I was clearly very desperate for a synonym for friends there!]       

Sunset at Greenwich park

Took a spontaneous trip after an afternoon of seminars to walk down the mall and luckily caught the palace just during sunset!

7) Weird habits developed this month?
Before I was going to sleep I kept getting hunger pangs which could not be ignored (to the extent where I would wake up at 5am with my stomach grumbling) so I have been regularly foraging into the kitchen in the small hours to eat peanut butter on top of caramel snack a jacs or crumpets. Actually, eating peanut butter twice a day was a habit I definitely didn’t expect to become a habit at any point in my life once I left childhood. Alas.

8) What are you missing the most about home this month?
I suppose I miss that community which was built for years and the security that it brought. I always knew who to turn to and it feels odd catching up with people through texting or messaging rather than just letting a conversation flow. Luckily, I have made it my ambition to get into more regular contact with my friends this month, AND most are returning from Uni within weeks, or have in the past few days. I also miss simple things, like my mum doing the laundry and making me hot chocolate when I was ill.

9) Best housemate moment?
Spending weekends together having lunch, walking down the Mall, going to the Tower Bridge exhibition, to the cinema, and even to Tesco (a huge supermarket feels like a very exciting quest to me and it is nice just to sit and chat to one person on the bus ride!) I have simply enjoyed sitting around the table having deep discussions and laughing together. Of course, dancing and ‘rapping, in the kitchen features heavily once again.

View from the Tower Bridge exhibition (this is me trying to pick out the more 'arty' photographs than the standard view of the Thames..)

10) Discoveries this month?
Parks (!!! – although hardly a discovery, more a rekindling of my love), crunchy peanut  butter, Genesis Cinema, frozen mango chunks, the beauty of simply making that phone call to one you miss.

Hope you have all had some good moments in your month!

-Antonia