Photographs of 2013 // Part One

It seems typically of pretty much anyone who lives on social media, and indeed anyone who is a reflecting and ponderous sort such as I, to collect all their thoughts of their year into one big jumble. For some, diary entries suffice, for others a nice Instagram collection of photographs (with Flipagram seeming to be the most common app being used to create these). However, not all my special moments were squeezed into square, valencia-filtered boxes on my phone, and only my summer was scrapbooked. Life is fast-paced for me, is changing an a simply alarming rate. This time last year I was still studying for my A-Levels and exams seemed like a long way off. Now, exams feel like an eternity ago and as I look at my pictures from January and February last year, they feel quite like distant memories, so I thought it apt to collect some of my favourite photographs of 2013, ranging from the distinctly arty and the distinctly stupid.

JANUARY

So technically this starts on New Year's Eve with a polaroid taken from my friend Hope's facebook page, which was then transferred onto my Instagram, screenshotted by my sister's iPod and uploaded to my computer. Confused? Me too. It was one of the only photographs taken that night and I especially love the pink tinge to it. Next we have a shot taken at a party I went to nearer the end of January. I remember walking up the road to the venue in my wellies because it had been snowing in the days that lead up to it and then changing into heels when I got there. It was a weird night with great food and I adore this photo because it is sparkly and smiley. Pretty different to the next two, which were taken as a part of Hope's Art A-Level and as one person commented on facebook, I look like "a very cute chimney sweep". For some reason, that comment hasn't left me and I do feel awful proud of it. I love me some photography and while posing felt extremely weird, I do remember it being a heck of a lot of fun playing around with lighting and trying to get myself to cry with onions, water and a lot of frowning.

Facebook status of this month: My holy wrath has just been publicly unleashed at a John Fisher who was about to throw a snowball at a 65 year-old man who also happened to be a member of my church and Andy Howes' dad. He didn't know what was coming to him. Nor did his pretty good aim work when he attempted to throw that very snowball at me a few minutes later from what was barely a 3m distance as he catastrophically missed and hit the window above me. Well done, lad, well done.

FEBRUARY

 Apparently I took very few photos in February! The first is more of a *symbolic* picture of this year: a year where I really got into reading and staring out of windows. No joke, I have taken far too many pictures from those very windows this year of sunsets, tree branches, snow, or even just little light flickers and movements. Sometimes it's nice to capture one piece of stillness in many environments. I guess, also, I spent a lot of time at the desk next to those windows, so it was a valid form of 'artistic procrastination'. The next two photos are of a friend's birthday. The first is her amaxing, singing, flower-evolving candle which had us all a little spellbound, and the second of my friend and I being a little silly at the mexican restaurant. There are plenty more photographs of that nature, and one where the waitress photobombed. I remember a particularly funny event involving a friend of mine who was a little tipsy and thought she had paid her share of the meal by giving us an imaginary £10 note. Quite the debacle.

Facebook status of this month: Technically not my status, but one I was tagged in saying 'Forever your finest hour' with a picture from my small, minute, minimal appearance on CBBC series MI High where my face is contorted in a mot disgruntled manner. It got 25 likes from people who appreciated such humiliation.

MARCH

So, March was the month when my Blackberry was on its last legs and my iPod, where I was taking all my day-to-day photos and updating Instagram from, was lost at the O2 when I took my sister there. There are few photographs on my laptop of this month apart from my cousins sleeping on one another and my family looking very subdued on Mother's Day, so here is a particularly funny incident that happened over good ole' Facebook which made me laugh. For the record, 'mitch' as I have called him was our zealot of a History teacher who gave us loads of homework but also helped me to get from a B to an A*, so I guess for all the joking made here all that work, had it been true, would have done me the world of good. Thinking about it, I don't think I even read the textbook because I had lost it by that point in the year.

Facebook status of the month: Somehow my family thought it acceptable to pull Christmas crackers at Easter. I feel confused.

APRIL

April was a month of Easter holidays, revision, and a few little events to relieve me from my desk! The first two images were taken of a friend's 18th, which I would describe as a weird night. I am not much of a drinker myself, but those cocktails did look rather appealing. We also ate shedloads of Chinese and there were many silly moments (such as that photobomb) which included a small group of us huddling around youtube and dancing on tables. That is about as wild as my life gets, ladies and gentlemen. The next series of photos shows a wedding, and a rather special one at that! With probably one of the most beautiful love stories of patience behind their marriage and with it being the first wedding to be held in the new church building, it was a lovely afternoon and evening. I especially liked the little trees on each table where people wrote messages and hung them up, which were later crafted into a little book by the couple for them to treasure. I love little DIY things like that and this wedding was full of them! The last picture shows me and a few friends from church. There are few pictures of us together this year, being seperated for many reasons, so I like to treasure this one (shame it's a little out of focus!)

Facebook status of the month: Broadchurch is messing with my mind!

MAY

If I had to chose one photo that is my absolute favourite, it would be this. Not staged or acted in any way.

Until I started writing this, I had no recollection of how hectic May was. I have almost too many pictures to count, and it was very difficult limiting them to even this rather disproportionate number (it makes March look even more lonely). I can assure you that May was most definitely a month of study, but pictures of the library are a little dull aren't they? So, first of all, May brings Leavers Week at school, a week (which was actually a week and a half with random days missed out) where sixth formers have themes to dress up to every day before they go on study leave. The first picture is a polaroid taken from day 1, Eras (I was 70's!), where I wore this vintage Laura Ashley dress and a big floppy hat. I love having polaroids on here, adding a little fuzziness and quirk to these sets of pictures. The second was taken on my favourite day: Childhood! I dressed up in Brownie uniform and many came in onesies or as characters from TV/films they had loved (my friend in this picture is Snow White!) It might just be that it was my suggestion to do a 'Childhood' theme or the fact that it was also our sixth form 'muck-up day' -where we are supposed to go around pranking teachers, pupils, and basically cause a bit of havoc- that made it one of the best days of my entire year. Unfortunately, due to previous years being ridiculous and trying to sell a teacher's car, we had a lot of restrictions. We tried to work around them by doing more fun things, such as bringing in scooters and roller blades and creating a traffic jam and staging a dramatic rescue mission of a younger year for the entertainment of all. However, we were stopped from even putting masking tape down onto the corridors to create our 'road' (health and saftey!). Nevertheless, it was one of the most fun school days I have had: in my free periods I didn't study, but took up and scooter and had races in the corridor, and after lunch most us blocked an entire section of corridor up singing songs from our childhood (Spice Girls, the 'Arthur' theme tune, Busted, you name it!). The teachers actually thought it was quite hilarious and for that I am pleased. The last day of leavers week was a nostalgic tear-fest where we all dressed up in customised versions of our school uniform. For most it was just cutting those kilts as short as possible, and with the legacy we leave behind being "Heirs of the Past, Bootyshakers of the Future", it was hardly surprising. These photos were taken once all the ceremony was over and a portion of our year went to the local park to have a giant picnic and it holds some great memories. The next picture is slightly odder, but was pinched from a selection of hundreds taken at my church opening ceremony, where I was the official photographer. It was fun but very stressful! The last two were from a friend's birthday meal, which was the last stage of leaving school, I feel, and the last time we saw one another for about a month due to exams starting in the next week.I like the quality of the last one: the room was really dim so when I edited them I decided to roll with it and embrace all the noise which this photograph brought and up the contrast, high. I like to embrace the imperfections in my photographs sometimes.

May was the month I joined Twitter! So my tweet of the month is: Ok, history aside, I am one of those creepers who enjoys revision. Attack me, go on. I am prepared with Sophoclean putdowns.

JUNE

So, June was a month where I could breathe a sigh of relief and my school education ended. I was lucky to have all my exams cramped at the beginning, which although I feel did impact a few of my end results, was good because after that week I had an interview for my gap year and then my last Open Doors Youth Advocate day away, shown in the last two photographs. It's funny seeing the lightswitch so empty in that photo compared to the one I took round London with me this month (see all about that here). The photo above that of the cross covered in fairy lights first of all shows the area where we slept, but most importantly shows a space where we sat and listened to a man who was involved in Bible smuggling, and particularly focused on his efforts during the Cold War. He was arrested, interrogated, followed, but the authorities could never pin him down. There was a story of how they literally walked through border control with Bibles in plastic bags and nobody saw them (and this was in Moscow!). Most amazingly, he showed us a jacket which was designed to hide 42 New Testaments inside the lining and on a belt. He wore it, was searched at the airport, but nothing was found on him. It was an inspirational session and something that has stuck with me, a faithful retelling of God's protection and sovereignty over his work and life. Up there are also photographs of our Leavers Ball and my friends dress up birthday party, where she wore a magnificent costume inspired by Disney's Tangled. The Leavers photographs are pretty much all staged: stand here and smile, kids, which don't really capture the night too well. I do, however, love the one of a friend and I sitting on the fountain and laughing, which is far better than the ones we posed for. It wasn't about looking nice, but simply sharing a moment. Photographs like that are rare and mean a lot. Lastly, we have Wimbledon, where we sat in the rain on Murray Mount for hours, watched Laura Robson win, and saw Novak Djokovic practising. We also ate some really good chicken, and the strawberries and cream really are unbeatable.

Tweet of the month: Snapchat has basically become a new way of texting for me, all chins inclusive.

So, that's the first half of 2013! It unravelled some memories I had rather forgotten about and made me really quite sad at some times. All those months really do feel like a long time ago: I wouldn't say 2013 has gone quickly. I guess this documents up to the moment when a lot of things changed in my life, and to be honest the second half might include things you have already seen in my monthly reviews, but maybe I can dig out something new.

Stay tuned!

-Antonia

Three month review // November - December

This review is running a little late this month, but that is simply because there is no point at all doing a four month review in January, as I only start back at work on the 9th due to London City Mission's week of prayer and my two week Christmas holiday (hurrah!), and therefore I wanted to fit as much as I could into this months which will hopefully do nicely as a summary of my first 'term' on my City Vision gap year.

Three months have rolled by really fast, and I feel somewhat disappointed with my lack of 'achievement'. Up until this point in my life, school measure your progress in detail, so you always know where you are heading, how you are improving, and you can feel accomplished and pleased over Christmas with your efforts thus far. This time last year, I had applied to University, just done my interview at Cambridge (which was actually horrifying, but to get to that stage in the process was an achievement nonetheless) and had bagged a place at Durham, which was my true favourite all along. Christmas was around the corner, and I was loving the opportunity to spend time with my friends and, with the permission of my History teacher, pretty much took all of Christmas off in terms of work, as a reward for my efforts.

At the time, I hated the relentless monitoring, but at the end of the day it was the ego boost I needed and gave me plenty of show-off material around the endless family visiting. Perhaps I am painting myself one year ago somewhat arrogantly, and harshly, but I know my brain. That is the way I think when I am driven by systems of success, which is exactly why I wanted a year out of them!

This year, I can boast of little while munching on a Turkey. I often struggle to see what all my hard work, and tears, have really contributed in a wider sense. At work, you aren't often praised, as you are merely doing what is expected of you. Even though I am unpaid, I figure that this still stands, and it actually led to a lot of frustration on my part midway through the term: my ego just needed the praise to keep running! I did this scheme because I wanted to make a difference in the community, to bring hope and relationship (and Jesus!) into people's lives. It turns out that many people aren't willing to accept that, and if they are, they make it extremely difficult. I have worked myself harder and felt guilty on days where I felt that I had achieved nothing. It is a constant struggle which doesn't bring a grade A at the end like it always has. Usually, it brings a U.

Usually my reviews have been a mix of positive and negative due to the questions I have set, but I felt that this as a round up was a highly appropriate and a brutally honest prologue examining how I am changing and what I am learning this year. And now, for some cheery questions!

1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?
There has been a huge influx in the amount of people I have seen in Santa costumes. Once, I saw a load of them running over Tower Bridge and I presumed that it was a one-off for charity. A few days later I saw them again getting on the tube. The world of twitter tells me that they are slowly invading many crevassess of London, Doctor Who style.
UPDATE: The lady has stopped riding her pink scooter over Tower Bridge on her morning commute.

2) Particular highlights of this month?
See my earlier blog post about my mission around London for charity! I also have had the chance to see a few familiar faces, going up to Oxford for a Pray for Syria event and seeing one of my best friends, going to Spitalfields market and eating delicious food, as well as seeing Disney's Frozen, which was surprisingly hilarious. Olaf the talking snowman made that film so much better (especially when he was pining for summer, not realising that he would melt, which produced both a sentimental aspect but also became the source of some rather humorous bits!), and I have to admit that I liked the message of the film. Without giving too much away, it wasn't a kiss that set the female protagonist free (hurrah!) and it definitely seemed to be heading that way and I internally groaned until the last moment! 

Lastly, I was able to contribute to a GrowtH night shelter, which is a project that runs through churches in the winter months that provide dinner, breakfast and beds for the night. It runs on a weekly rota, with the homeless rotating between local churches. The scheme runs so that there are waiting lists and everything is monitored to make sure that everyone gets a fair amount of meals and shelter. The church I am currently attached to runs it so that there are regular people who help and then a rota of volunteers based on Home groups. Instead of meeting together as per usual to do a Bible study, we all bought food out of our own pocket and together created a huge Christmas feast for them, as well as puds! It was a joy just to spend time with these men (and one woman!) chatting to them, and seeing how appreciative they were of food, with many saying they felt full. They were surprisingly cheery and overall it was a really humbling experience.

3) Favourite part of your work this month?
At the Cafe we held our Makers Market which aimed to support local businesses, most of whom were starting up, and local people who made too much stuff to warrant their hobby. This meant staying in the Cafe until 10pm the day before, getting their earlier, multiple staff, rushing around frantically, talking to stallholders and encouraging them, organising carol singing, drinking lots of spiced apple juice, and seeing many familiar faces from people at my home church who came to support me! It was an amazing event, the place was packed, and I finished off my Christmas shopping before December even hit. Score, I'll say. 

We moved all the comfy chairs to the back of the cafe so the front could be a full-size market space and the back was a nice cushy space (complete with fairy lights!) This was taken just as we opened, before the mad rush!

The gallery space, which usually stands empty, was transformed into a cafe area using the tables from the roof terrace! 

4) Least favourite part of your work this month?
I feel like I am finally comfortable behind the counter, and generally in all aspects of my work now, so now my least favourite thing is staying in the cafe for too long, or being so busy in the cafe that customer interaction and relationship building gets pushed aside just to keep the place running. It often means that we don't get to do as much visiting as we would like. I love the cafe, but the real reason this year meant so much is the outreach side of things, the community aspect. Sometimes I get waves of sadness that this is getting lost and I am merely becoming a retail worker, albiet in a very friendly and communal space.

5) Hardest part of your work this month?
I haven't been feeling too well this past week, and before that my sleep patterns were a bit crazy, so it has been dealing with this while having the energy to run around the cafe and, more crucially, be able to listen to the stories of those we visit and be alert. This month has been especially draining.

6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words?
Brilliant, busy, Ben(& Jerry's)

7) Weird habits developed this month?
This isn't weird for most, but I have always been an early riser, so staying up/out late is quite weird for me, and I have had to roll out of bed and rush to get ready far too many times for my liking (yet how I still get there early is beyond me!). I don't much like it though, and I hope to get back to my normal routine soon! And to explain the above, I have consumed a lot of Ben & Jerry's, and it works as wonderful comfort and throat soothing food.

8) What are you missing the most about home this month?
The quietness. When in Oxford, I walked lonely streets and there were no people to bump into. I then went home for a few days the week after because I had a day off in lieu and I just walked around my local area. I even walked the route that I used to walk back from the bus stop at around the same time and was filled with a sense of nostalgia as I remembered all the things I used to peruse about while I walked those streets, and just how nice it was to have those snatches of peace and quiet which are near impossible to get here. I have grown used to the rush of traffic, but its the constant stream of people that I can't cope with as I walk home and you just want the thinking space to be alone with the breeze.

9) Best housemate moment?
Last week we had our house Christmas dinner made for us by the hostel wardens. I have no pictures of it (yet) but they will be added when I do! It was complete with Schloer - as with any Christian gathering - crackers, cheesy Christmas music and pavlova for pudding, my favourite. We also all got together and played a game which has become rare, as the time we spend together is little and normally has the telly in the background, which I am growing to dislike quickly. However, I do believe that we have become a lot closer, it's just a shame that we're not all around together more often. In more Christmas-related joy, we had a wonderfully evening singing along to the Buble Christmas album while decorating our tree which was absolutely hilarious.

10) Discovery of the month?
Arthur Christmas has become one of my favourite Christmas films. I would normally write off animations simply because I normally don't find them funny or particularly entertaining, but I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by this.

And that was an even longer, more rambly review than last month! If you stayed to the end you get multiple cyber hugs. Unless you are a man. Then get away.

-Antonia