tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48488639495065526992024-03-20T07:26:13.241+00:00mosaicofantoniaThe fragments of her journey of faith, the ponderings of her heart, the photography she uses in attempts to capture her world, accompanied by many a cup of tea.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-76511215282489264572016-12-16T08:06:00.002+00:002016-12-17T07:09:32.972+00:00Third Year (so far) By Numbers10 different kinds of soup. 5 gluten and dairy-free cakes. 4 different spiralized vegetables. 1 Christmas dinner. 2 carol services. 2 formals. 2 attempts to hit the town. 2 trips to Newcastle. 1 trip to York. 4 essays. 40 lectures. 2 dissertation meetings. 5 Shakespeare plays. 6 Greek dramas. 1410 pages of Dickens novel. 48 books taken out of the University Library. 5 Bible studies in Romans lead. 6 trips to Cafedral alone to chat about Jesus.<br />
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4 panic attacks. Lots of days where I couldn't get out of bed. Many more where I cried without much explanation. 5 doctors' appointments. 1 hospital appointment. Lots of pills. 8 unwanted side effects (and counting). At least a week of sleepless nights.<br />
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It's been the toughest term yet. Birthday parties were difficult. The loud chatter after church was suffocating and nauseating. Meeting anyone new went from an exciting event to an energy-sucking vortex of panic. Motivation was sapped, plans couldn't be made, and more were cancelled than kept if I dared to make them. Shaking hands and legs sometimes meant walking, writing, and eating were hard.<br />
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But without number are the truths I've been learning about about my Maker and King, and therefore myself, in the last 12 weeks. They're truths I'm pretty keen on taking through to the rest of third year - and that I pray will be shaping my thinking and transforming my life from day to day until that glorious day when I see my Lord face to face. Here are just 10.<br />
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<b>He is God; I am dust.</b><br />
There has been nothing more liberating this term than to see my human body, and mind, in the way that God sees it - I am dust, to dust I will return, and I'm not as strong as I look (even if I was working out over summer). I am indeed as frail as grass, my days are numbered - I might be young, but each day I breathe is another day where God is deliberately breathing life into my body. Psalm 90 was a huge rebuke; our days can be swept away at the command of God, like a dream, or a flood.<br />
Because I am dust, I need sleep (even when the essay is due the next day, and the day before I spent crying in bed), I need sabbath rest (even when I feel like I've had enough 'time out' throughout the week and want to work), I need friends, and I need inward renewal (ie things that help me rest, mainly cooking). God doesn't need those things - but he has given me them to enable me to live and serve well, or in this case, recover well. It is pride to deny myself those things in order to 'get on with life'. Being dust means you can't always cope, but God is always competent.<br />
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<b>His love is steadfast, so my attempts to win it are futile and unnecessary.</b><br />
I didn't even realise that I was attempting to win it - deep (deep) down, perhaps I believed that because some of my friends had turned to Jesus, because I got an unexpectedly good mark at the end of second year, because I was a Focus leader, and much more, that only if I kept up this standard would the Father be pleased with me. What total rubbish. I bring nothing to the table where God's unconditional love is concerned apart from my weakness, ungodliness, and sin (Romans 5:6-8). So, days in bed didn't need to be full of guilt and shame and lack of assurance about my worth in God's eyes. His grace is sufficient, and his grace abounds where sin increases (Romans 5:20b).<br />
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<b>His gifts are greater than my achievement.</b><br />
Last year, I planned every hour of my week between the hours of 8-6 (at least). Every essay was planned in and handed in early, targets were made, and there was never need for an extension. I did well. This term, I handed in work that I didn't feel was done, I had to take whole days off and disrupt my own plans to allow my mind to take a break. Concentration was illusive. I wasn't going to achieve what I wanted (and had made an idol). So, I learnt to receive, to be served by Jesus rather than thinking I need to be the one serving Him (Mark 10:45). I reminded myself again and again that Christ qualifies me (Colossians 1:12), and that this is more important that the qualification given to me by Durham University in June 2017. And how can you lead Bible studies on Romans 3-5 without being amazed at the language of 'gift' again and again referring to God's righteousness and grace?<br />
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<b>He is in control, even when I'm battling for the reigns.</b><br />
Who told me I could run my day? Who told me I was in control of my life? Culture. But when I became a Christian I surrendered my life to His control, to recognising his sovereignty in all things. So I preached that these things were for my good (though not my transient experience of happiness) and more importantly, for his glory (Romans 8:28). He works all this for that end - and his glory won't be achieved by me microplanning mine and others' lives, but in humble dependence on the Father. On bad days, it didn't feel like God was getting the glory. But as He refined my attitude towards trial, I saw that he is glorified not only in outward things, but in my inner sanctification by the Spirit. Less obviously 'holy', and yet so very necessarily humbling.<br />
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<b>Suffering is kind - so I can rejoice.</b><br />
No more was this solidified when I lead (not too well, but He gets the glory!) a Bible study on Romans 5. I could lead it with confidence knowing that even days where I had been involuntary shaking through lectures, or struggled to walk home, that I had indeed been rejoicing in the promises of God, enduring through it, that my faith had been refined, and my hope was much, much greater (Romans 5:3-5). How loving of the Lord to put me through pain so my faith grows!<br />
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<b>The Father listens to my prayers.</b><br />
At Christchurch this term, we had 3 sermons on the Lord's prayer, of which the final two were both incredibly striking. Even though some of the content was familiar from a first year sermon serie, it had more resonance than ever. The element of the prayer not to be lead into temptation radically changed the way I viewed my sin, and along with convictions in Romans 3, encouraged me to bring my excuses for sin in the trial to the Lord in repentance and pray for protection against stumbling into them again. Sins such as self-pity, frustration, lack of love for others, and clinging onto my idols of busyness and activity in my degree and in church were not excused, but battled.<br />
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<b>He must increase, I must decrease.</b><br />
Again, a reflection on a sermon from John 3, one which I had to leave at the end of because I felt nauseous but which consolidated my reading of Obadiah that week - my pride was being slowly crushed as term became tougher and harder to cope with. It encouraged me to do all things, especially Focus leading and one-to-one discipleship, in a way which pointed people away from me and onto Jesus, when inwardly I wanted people to see that I was 'doing fine' and praise me for my good works. Depression didn't excuse me from speaking the truth in love, pointing people to Jesus, speaking words of Life to the body of Christ that I've been given in Durham. It certainly didn't mean making life about me. That wasn't the way of John the Baptist, nor the way of Christ. As David Cook said in a sermon I listened to on Obadiah: 'anything that humbles me is good for me'. Despite how difficult this term has been, it was good for me, and good for God's glory.<br />
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<b>Not seeing fruit isn't the same as no fruit.</b><br />
I was particularly struck when I was dwelling on Psalm 90, a psalm dwelling on our human frailties and dustiness, at the ending, where Moses prays (twice) that God might establish the work of his hands. In 'Zeal Without Burnout' this was followed by a suggestion for prayer which stuck in my mind, and that is to pray that something, anything, that we do might have eternal significance, bear eternal fruit. In church, in academia, in relationships, we look at, and fixate too often, on the now. Although now, I am not able to go all out on mission as I would like, I am not able to concentrate on God's word for as long as I would like, I am not able to disciple as many girls as I would like, I am praying that in my life, there might be something of eternal value, that God by his grace might dare to use this weak jar of clay to demonstrate the gospel. It is very kind of him that I am unaware of how he might do that, and much better for my ego, that I might only boast in his work now and in eternity. I was also encouraged by revisiting some of the parables in Mark, particularly the parable of the growing seed in Mark 4:26-29 - so small, and yet so encouraging that God is growing his kingdom, even if we don't understand how!<br />
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<b>I am expendable. </b><br />
A phrase I first met through reading 'Through Gates of Splendour', and one which has been recalled to life in my mind this term. Even though I've 'failed' in many ways in serving at church, serving my non-Christian friends, and had to give up things I was passionate about in order to recover, the kingdom hasn't fallen apart. God has still brought people from death to life, he has still been working by His Spirit through his Word and his people to grow the scattered seed, and to produce fruit on the trees. This term, he didn't need me to achieve that.<br />
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<b>His power is made perfect in weakness.</b><br />
I've had little to no power of my own - so he gets the glory when I get through a day, when I get an essay back and the mark is actually decent, when I write a focus study, when I catch up with a friend through shaking hands, when I counsel another who is suicidal when battling myself. He gets the glory when I get out of bed, when I turn to him in my tears. In my 'clay-jar' moments (2 Corinthians 4), the gospel is underlined as I hold fast to that, and not myself.<br />
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Most of this can be summed up by the simple words: grace, grace, grace. One of the most thought-changing things I read <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/grace-paced-living-in-a-burnout-culture" target="_blank">this article from <i>Desiring God</i></a> which outlined what living in God's grace looked like in practise, as well as Christopher Ash's 'Zeal without Burnout', dispersing God's truth to ground sound practical advice to avoid burnout for those in Christian ministry, but equally relevant for the exhausted student who longs to spend every minute pouring herself out but is inhibited by mental health.<br />
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I don't really know who I'm writing this for or why I'm writing it. But I hope it's not 'look how godly I am' and more like 'look how amazing God's truth is'. Otherwise I clearly haven't learnt as much as I thought.<br />
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Here's to another year of not blogging but occasionally using it as a vehicle to get thoughts off my chest. Here's to another year of clinging to Jesus more and more, and being painfully humbled in the process.<br />
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Goodbye 2016. You haven't been pleasant but you have been necessary for God's glory and part of his sovereign plan. And so I rejoice in you, 2016, and thank God for all you've taught me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-39121562492764977192015-03-27T14:52:00.000+00:002015-03-27T14:52:05.180+00:00Eight Years Ago...<div class="MsoNormal">
A while ago, for a blog run by Durham Inter-Collegiate
Christian Union, I wrote 500 words under the title, ‘Why I am a Christian.’ But
I found that 500 words didn’t cut it. It couldn’t express the struggle, the
confusion, the resistance I had to following Jesus, to letting myself surrender
to his call in my heart, to be fully free and changed in Him. It did not
express the pain of bullying, and the pain of be becoming a bully, of how I
victimised others and myself. It could not get to the depths of my emotional recklessness,
the seething anger borne out of intense insecurity in my identity. Therefore, I
don’t think it did Jesus justice. He deserves more glory than 500 words can
express. </div>
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This is going to be long. <a href="http://thisislife.diccu.co.uk/2015/02/03/antonia-sheldrake-grey/" target="_blank">Find the short version here</a>.</div>
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Eight years ago, I gave my life to Christ. An imperfect
girl finally realised that living a good life and trying to be perfect wasn’t
enough and could never be enough, and that I could never be enough no matter
how hard I tried. Struggle didn’t end at that point, in fact I think it really
kicked off then, because when I rejected God, reading his word, prayer, his
power over my horrific sin for the next few years, I did it with eyes wide open
and a heart that wanted to be hard. I suppose this is my story.</div>
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Most people assume that a girl like me, enthusiastic to the
point of insanity and who currently desires to work full-time in a church or
mission context, must have been brainwashed by her parents into this Jesus
thing. Truth is, there was Christian influence around me from my mum and from some
of my extended family, but I didn’t enjoy it. I went to half-term Bible clubs
and did the worksheets for the prizes, not because I was enthralled by the
stories. And when the prizes were Bible stories I didn’t let my mum read them
to me – no way! I avidly remember telling my mum exactly what I thought about
church: dull, boring, full of old ladies. And when I didn’t get the answers
right, couldn’t prove myself, I kicked off. Being a church kid was about being
a good kid. Bring your bible, get a point. 10 points and you get extra sweets.
Learn a memory verse (in the car on the way), get a point, get 5 points and you
get a prize. I was in church because I wanted rewards for my good acts.</div>
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Aged 9, I remember being moved by a story told to me at church.
I went home and hid behind the sofa. I prayed a prayer of sorts and thought ‘job
done.’ I’d done the ceremony. I was a Christian, right? I believed that I
really was a Christian and reassured myself with all my knowledge of the Bible.
But my heart was bruised. Bullied from around the same age, I retaliated with
violence. I remember dragging kids by the hair, thumping them with books,
hitting with those rubber skipping ropes. It was satisfying, getting someone
back who had done you wrong. I didn’t understand the gospel message – Jesus forgave
every sin, theirs and mine, and calls us to forgive. It might be hard for a 9
year old to even contemplate this, but in my moments of anger, where was Jesus?
He was for Sundays and he helped me win prizes.</div>
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Bullying led to rocky friendships, constant suspicion that I
wasn’t liked, doubt in my abilities which led to an unhealthy attitude of
perfectionism. In my Year 6 SATS I had to be seated in a separate room because
I would get so anxious of everyone around me writing and think that I was
useless, driving me to panic attacks and tears. I can’t even count the amount
of times I walked out of class to find a corner where I could be alone and
breathe. I had friends, but it took a long time. Some of the friends from the
past had become those who bullied me, or bullied my new friends. But I was
clever enough, and I was striving to go to that better school. I also danced,
and I was good at that, better than them at least, and that’s what I pursued. I
was in pantomimes and did auditions for the West End. That’s where my hope lay.
I wanted to be celebrated.</div>
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I moved to secondary school, a girl’s grammar school, hoping
that I would change now. No one would remember who I was from my first school.
I didn’t have to get angry here, I just had to work hard and make friends and
it sounded so simple. No boys around to make me feel even more uncomfortable. This
school taught dance in PE, even better. I saw that this was a place where I
could thrive.</div>
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Within a month or so, I realised that I couldn’t just change.
I was already frustrated that I was coming bottom in maths – why were these
girls all so clever? Why didn’t I know how to do long division at all (I still
don’t know how to do it!)? The friends I had made might have accidentally left
me behind to go to lunch and I would have a paranoia party – ‘They left me deliberately,
they don’t like me, how could they treat me like this?’. I wallowed in my own
self-pity and sunk down deep into insecurity again. It wasn’t long before I
became the bully. I was tired of feeling insecure and paranoid, of having no
one to sit with at lunch and not even getting the grades I wanted to make up
for it. I wrote a note ‘I hate you’ and put it in a jumper for her to find when
they came out of the canteen. That will show them. I used one of the only forms
of social network we had back in 06’ (Stardoll), made an anonymous account, and
wrote hate. I used school e-mail, too. I even remember getting people’s
passwords and checking if they had also misused their IT class to write e-mails
to one another to check that they weren’t about me. I was sly, but I was
caught. It was obvious.</div>
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You can’t force people to forgive a bully. I would never
have called myself that then. In my eyes, I was the one being hurt by people
neglecting me. Really, there was a wider heart issue. Even at church, I wouldn’t
speak in case I got answers wrong, wouldn’t even read aloud. I was no good. I
carried on dancing and those extra activities in a place where I was successful
got me through all my bad homework. I still would have called myself a
Christian. In RE I knew the answers, answered the debates. I had it all at my
fingertips, all except what it was like to be in relationship with the living
Jesus, the living Lord, the Saviour who forgives and transforms hearts. I was
so much further than I realised.</div>
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To top off a first few terms of secondary school, I
attempted to strangle a fellow classmate. It was a trivial issue. Every year 7
class did a dance for our Gym & Dance display. I wanted my group to have
the best section in our dance. Another girl wanted to take control. Dance was
my area, I was good at it, her thoughts are wrong, why is she messing with
this? I got angry over a few weeks, and then I exploded. I ran away in such
shame and guilt. After an act of violence, from throwing a pen or storming out
of class to the more extreme incidents, there was always shame and guilt and
tears and a lot of running to cold, dark corners or the end of the field where
I would be alone. Sometimes I tried to call out to God but he never came. He
didn’t fix me so why should I call on him? Why did he make me like this? I was
trying to control myself and it wasn’t working, and now everyone hates me even
more, they are scared of me, the few friends I might have made won’t talk to me
now. Yet I also couldn’t deny that again, getting my own back was satisfying. A
moment of violence was also a strange pacifier for all my insecurity.</div>
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I was invited to go to a Christian conference by a friend,
and I said yes, mainly because at 12 the idea of a holiday in Butlins where
there were water slides sounded fun. I thought I had the Christian thing
sorted, anyway, so it was no big deal. It was very different to what I was used
to. The meetings had long periods of standing up and singing, which was fine
for me as a performer. I quite enjoyed it, apart from the fact that all the
songs were new and I didn’t know them. I think the unfamiliarity of these songs
meant that when I did sing, I sang for the first time in years actually having
to think about what I was singing about God. I learned over the first few days
to truly delight in singing these amazing words. I took notes in the talks as I
always did at home, not that I ever really looked at them again. But, it was really
uplifting.</div>
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It got to day 3 or 4, I can’t remember. It was a Tuesday
evening, drawing to the end of the 5 days, and I didn’t want to listen to the
talks anymore – I had friends and these friends had sweets. Sitting on the
floor, chatting in hushed tones in a circle, we weren’t really being told off. It was quite the
rebellion for this 12 year old. There was paper at the back of the room and we
were told to go and write down behaviour that we wanted to change. We were
being encouraged to be more Christ-like, yet I walked over, saw other people’s
ideas and judged them. I don’t gossip like they do, I’m kind to my sister. I
sat down, thinking that I was good enough. I didn’t really understand what it was to
come broken, helpless and sinful at the cross of Jesus, overwhelmed by my own
sin until I sat down. It flooded onto my shoulders and I spent the next few
minutes (though it felt like ages) scribbling down everything I could think of. My anger being the big issue, but then it rumbled down into the small, everyday
ways in which I rejected God. I saw the extent to which I was running away. Whenever I sat back down, something else struck me and I ran back to write it. </div>
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It
wasn’t just that I realised I wasn’t a good girl, it was that I realised for
the first time how much I needed grace. I needed Jesus to help me overcome all
of this. He did to overcome all of this, for me, the girl who thought she had
it sorted and didn’t need anything but a good knowledge and religious looking
actions to be right with God.</div>
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The room gathered and we ran through this piece of paper,
symbolising Jesus breaking the chains of our sin. I was elated like nothing
else. People sang and I grabbed bits of paper and ripped them apart. It was an
inexpressible joy and freedom that I suddenly felt. The best dance performance,
the loudest applause, never topped it. When we got back to our chalet, the
people I was staying with asked me, ‘So are you a Christian now?’ after I had
chatted excitedly with them about what had happened. I paused. I realised that
I actually hadn’t been a Christian before I had grasped all of that. It shocked me,
but thrilled me. I answered a confident ‘yes’ and was welcomed into the family
by a hug that I won’t forget. </div>
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Not everyone has such a moment to speak of, and it is
amazing to see how that moment when I was trying to be cool, not listen,
actually became a moment where I grasped the gospel, the 'good news', I had been hearing from childhood for the first time. It was the moment where I saw the folly in my
goodness from God’s eyes. But it didn’t change me instantly. I’m not sure I
leaped home and told everyone like so many in the Bible seem to do when they
encounter Jesus like that. I’m not even sure I told my mum! It was a slow slog
from there. There were too many issues that still seemed too big for Jesus to
handle. I wanted to read my Bible, but there was still a wrong attitude. I read
verses on anxiety and anger and found them patronising, and to be honest read
the Bible to confirm that I was still good, doing the right thing, plodding
along nicely. </div>
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I still struggled with anger. I was in counselling, and then
I was in therapy. I didn’t understand why I still struggled. I had a real
faith, but real doubts too. Puberty, hormones, endless streams of problematic
friendships and my own perfectionism were a constant battle. I struggled to see
how Jesus could help me if my friends were ignoring me, or if a friend was
self-harming, or if I still couldn’t stop having panic attacks in class. It was
a turbulent time, and I was still very insecure. Jesus wasn’t a quick-fix 'solution': I still had lots to learn and understand.</div>
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June 2009: I reached a tipping point. A netball game got a
bit intense. I was losing, I was forced to accept my failure and the failure of
my team, and a friend who had been causing me a lot of anxiety was on the
winning team and loving it. She jibed in jest, but I snapped. How could she?
Did she know what her problems were putting me through? I ran at her, there was
a violent attack that I mercifully can’t remember the details of. I ran to the
empty PE cupboard, bright red, face hot with anger and shame. I cried, I was
shaken, I hated myself, I hated this anger that seemed to be controlling me. I
didn’t know what to do with myself. I started banging my head against the wall,
contemplated self-harm momentarily, but it ended on my knees. I was praying for
forgiveness. I knew that I needed a saviour because my efforts to be good, to be god in my own life and take control, were failing.</div>
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In all my violent incidents, or insecurity, I never blamed
myself or saw myself as a problem. It was always other people that triggered
me. The people around that knew all the answers when I didn’t, or a comment made
which tipped me over... Why could I never take the blame? I had to write
reports of my actions and it would always start with a scapegoat clause, an
attempted defence. It wasn’t just me. By deflecting all my problems as other
people’s problems, I had in my eyes escaped calling it ‘sin’, that word of
dread. But it was, and now I knew it. I was crushed. I was stuck dumb. I was so
ashamed. I saw that for years people had been scared of me – the only friends I
made I eventually let down somehow. I recommitted to following Jesus, and it
wasn’t on the agreement that I was fixed up or would fix myself up, but on the agreement that I would
surrender. </div>
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I faced girls turning away from me, and kindness from a few
who took pity and didn’t follow the crowd (still great friends today!). My
summer was my <a href="http://mosaicofantonia.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/the-dark-summer-that-changed-my-life.html" target="_blank">‘summer of darkness’</a>. No friends to hang out with, six weeks of
family time and lots of visits to Shakeaway! In the nights I read my bible and
prayed with more understanding. I prayed for those that I thought had hurt me,
as Jesus commanded us to do. I prayed that I might forgive as he forgave me. I
didn’t expect that a few weeks into the next school year it would really
happen. I was reconciled to Jesus and reconciled to my friends. My heart, too,
was slowly changing. Within a year, the counselling and therapy was no longer
needed. It was nothing to do with me. I couldn’t change myself – I had been
trying for years and falling flat. He alone orchestrated the change in my heart
by His Spirit as I read his word with open eyes and a longing to know more of
Jesus. He alone could rescue me from the depths of my insecurity, inadequacy,
anger, anxiety.</div>
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On a bus one day in October, having seen how God had
completely turned my thinking about and changed my heart, my thoughts turned to
baptism. Before, it was a weird ritual, but now it had a whole new meaning, and
I wanted to proclaim that I was died and raised with Christ, raised to a new
body, made a new creation because of his death. I wanted to proclaim his
victory over sin and death in my life and for others to see and be encouraged.
January 3<sup>rd</sup>, 2010.</div>
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Those are the 'big bits', I guess, although that is only just the beginning. I continue to grow and
change and fail and fear and pray and stumble and pray a lot more... and fall
again. I’ve taken the gospel message out, the good news has been proclaimed
with my words and hopefully in my life. It’s why I took a year between school and
University to work for free, live on little, so that I could share the love of
God and the message of Jesus’ death to the most marginalised in society. It’s
why I am always rushing around at University and am so glad to be taking on
roles in CU at Durham next term. What good news we have to share!</div>
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It’s why I want to give my whole life to Jesus. We owe a
debt of love we can never repay. We are still weak and helpless, yet our sins
are remembered no more and we are clothed in His righteousness – set apart for
His glory. We have been adopted by the Creator of the Universe, who calls
himself Father. This will hurt, this will cost. This will be worth it.</div>
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But I echo Paul in my life (with trembling lips): <i>‘But whatever were gains to me I now
consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything as
loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord... I want
to know Christ, yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in
his sufferings...one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards
what is ahead, I press onwards the goal to win the prize for which God has called
me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.’</i></div>
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And I follow Jesus, who calls me to ‘Go’.</div>
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To Him be the glory.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-52321970561902793852014-12-24T19:16:00.000+00:002014-12-24T19:17:42.009+00:00First Term LessonsUniversity has been a learning curve like no other. By the time I was old enough to really have a solid grasp of who I was, I had the same friends for three years and could easily avoid those I didn't like. I had my routines and my hobbies all worked out, and everyone understood them because we were all alike. I would get up early and go to bed early. I wouldn't work past 7 and would watch TV every night with my mum before bed. I spent most Saturdays completing my work from the previous week and was very much a stay-at-home girl. I watched a lot of YouTube. During my gap year, I would housed once more with people like me, worked with people older than me but who generally shared my values, and that was of great encouragement. I did a tough job for no money and that gave me a passion and a vision that I hope to see flourish in the future.<br />
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University is different to my gap year in many ways, and I can't believe that when people told me it was a world like no other that I didn't believe them. You live alongside people that probably would have avoided you at school because you were weird, difficult personalities. I shared with a girl who I may never have crossed paths with elsewhere in life because our backgrounds were so different. Instead of being the person that retreated to their room, I worked alone but found myself beginning to crave social interaction, discussion, friendship on a deep level that mainly worked on a face-to-face basis because they were quite literally just down the hallway. Yes, it all got intense at times, and there were definitely some down moments when essays all piled up over a few weeks, but you were never alone. There was also the opportunity to try something new, and I've picked up old hobbies as well as new ones, once again filled with different people. I am doing a whole host of subjects and juggling it all is a right challenge, especially when, unlike my A Levels, I am not a reclusive workaholic who spends a lot of time alone, but also makes the time for hours of exercise and other pastimes. In this messy, busy, world, I have learnt a lot, and I intend to carry these lessons into the next term.<br />
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<i><u>1) There Is Always Time.</u></i><br />
When the essays rolled in and I saw all my deadlines for one week, I panicked big time. I wanted to stay up late, get up early, and generally not be kind to myself. I would push myself just a bit too hard, depriving myself of sleep. I would punish myself internally if I didn't feel like I had done enough. And it hit me at the end of it all, when all the deadlines were in, that there was always enough time to do what I wanted, sleep, chat with friends, exercise. I didn't have to be anxious about it, and in fact all those other things helped me to be more productive when I was awake. Sounds so simple, but for a perfectionist who is controlling and unkind to herself, a lesson well-learned. Yes, I might not be as hyper-organised as I would be in school, handing things in a week before, but I can do that same thing and be a little calmer.<br />
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<i><u>2) Resting Is A Good Thing.</u></i><br />
It is not the enemy of all things productive, nor is it always selfish. I had to be told far too many times in one particular week to rest. I didn't, and things went wrong. I cried a lot, but I did get given a muffin by one who was particularly sympathetic. You CAN get by with less sleep, but it doesn't mean you have to.<br />
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<i><u>3) Look At What Is More Valuable.</u></i><br />
Those marks for the essay that doesn't count? Yes, they are a useful indication of where you are heading, and they make you feel warm and fuzzy for a while, but they don't count. They really don't. I'm not saying I should slump into a thought process whereby I don't care about anything I produce (after all, I'm paying a lot for this!), but that I care and put effort into it, but don't stake my hopes on the result. The results I produce, my achievements, are not my true value. I am to seek meaning and value elsewhere and my time should reflect that. As a Christian, that means more time in prayer, seeking out friendships, looking to be compassionate and give my time sacrificially to serve others.<br />
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<u><i>4) Let The Introvert Take Over Sometimes.</i></u><br />
You don't have to enjoy always being around the constant stream of people, nor are you validated by doing so. I realised this term that I was becoming really conscious of how people saw me and tried to betray my personality by involving myself in things I wasn't too keen on. I was trying, for a time, not to do things with people outside of my halls so that I wouldn't lose friends. And I really have enjoyed this holidays being on my own, journalling more, and venturing out to see friends on my own terms rather than being barged in on and having to put up with someone for a few hours rather than just gently telling them that I would rather be alone.<br />
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<u><i>5) Let Your Hair Down.</i></u><br />
It's good to celebrate. And you, of all people, can do it sensibly and on your terms. Don't be so self-conscious, whack out that crazy dancing.<br />
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<u><i>6) Embrace Brunch.</i></u><br />
It might feel weird to come back from dance class on a Saturday morning to hash browns and beans, but you have no other choice really. And now they've replace your Sunday roast with it, too. So you had better get used to it.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Dressing up as Penny Pingleton. More of this next term.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The one day where I really went for it with brunch.</i></td></tr>
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I've probably learnt even more than that, but this is the stuff that as I reflect on my first term that has really stuck. Hopefully, next term with my own room, things will be different in many ways. I can get up and not have to get dressed in the dark, go to bed with the lights off. Talk to myself. Sing to myself. It will be brilliant!<br />
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What has life been teaching you over the last few months?<br />
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-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-9528007079564483792014-12-07T13:45:00.001+00:002014-12-07T13:45:56.986+00:00Stuck in the BubbleI didn't understand it when people said that returning to University was like returning to a Bubble, but now the only way I can describe University is a parallel universe. Honestly, I did not believe it when people said that it was so entirely different to any life you will ever have, and I did not expect it to be so all-encompassing and challenging in so many ways. Now, I find myself with a week to go, without any deadlines but still a lot of reading if I don't want my suitcase to weigh a tonne, and itching to get away. Not from the people, or the city, or the experience of learning and trying so many new things, but just from a world which doesn't feel quite real.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My section of my shared room at University</i></td></tr>
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Last year, I faced the realities of everyday life in marginalised communities in London, and it was a wake up call. Foodbanks lie dear to my heart, as does issues of poverty, benefit sanctions, and community groups. Even in a city that seems to be pretty idyllic, since being here I have learnt that it is unique among the county and that there are parts where the lifespan decreases by 10-20 years in a ten-minute drive. Yet, I am part of a weird world where students complain about money yet rarely face the real problems of hunger, electricity, water, shelter. And they are hugely apathetic about the Foodbank collection in our post room, which only had one tin of food in the last time I checked. Many are incredibly ignorant of real situations in real lives, yet are some of the most intelligent people I have met. There are a few which have real hearts of compassion, real love and drive and have even set up this incredible organisation to get students involved in local charities that would otherwise struggle to get volunteers. I was thrilled when I found out about them, but disappointed in myself that apathy set in so quickly as I was swaddled up in a cradle of comfort, of meals in a fancy dining hall and my money going towards the next best event and making friends than my passion for community. Why does being a student exemplify me from being a part of society as a whole?<br />
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You can easily spend all day going from breakfast to the library, to a lecture, to lunch, to basketball practise, to your kitchen for a tea break, to your room, to dinner, to the library, to bed. Stuck in your bubble of friendship and intellect, afraid of missing out, branching out, and really considering what is important in life. Rarely considering other people outside of this alternative reality.<br />
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Some people say you have to embrace this world in which a week goes by so fast and yet everything evolves - you have hours and hours of knowledge crammed in, new people and the dynamics of the group of people that you see everyday seems to reform every hour. For me, it feels more like staying afloat and remembering my true identity and passions which exist outside of this maddening sensation of not being in the real world and losing some of the convictions most important to me. I feel threatened.<br />
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This makes out as if University has been a bad experience, and it undoubtedly has not. I've been surprised at how much I have loved it. I've really quite enjoyed learning again, discovering and rediscovering, becoming excited by the vastness of the classical world and the underlying features of novels and the new ways of reading theology. I've enjoyed weighty discussion. I've enjoyed taking up exercise more regularly in an atmosphere where it is encouraged even if you are really very bad (like me). I've enjoyed having people around to talk to over cups of tea. I've enjoyed meeting so many inspiring people through church and Christian Union who show such generosity and help to such a confused fresher, and learning through them how to stumble along in faith at University. But I've also felt smothered by the workload, smothered by the constant social expectations, none of which I would classify as being quite real.<br />
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University is bizzare and I don't understand it yet. It's a bubble which feels inescapable, but I'm sure that over Christmas I will miss it. No matter how much I complain and grumble, I still am living in a real world. It is just a world I hadn't really considered before, a world tainted with far more privilege and freedom than I am used to, and a world far further from home than I've ever been.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-55609006322846995202014-09-22T11:44:00.002+01:002014-09-22T11:45:51.541+01:00The Easy Things To Be Thankful ForOff the back of my previous post on the topic of being thankful, I mentioned going around my house and taking photos of the things that I was thankful for, in spite of how admittedly easy it was for me to do so because I have so many good things, obvious privileges. As adding the photographs that I took onto that post would have made it very long, I thought I would make a separate, shorter post here with little explanations under each one, my notes of gratefulness if you will.<br />
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Being mindfully appreciative of what you have cannot just be a one-off epiphany moment and I hope that my extending this theme over two posts it will get us all thinking, me included, over a long scale of time, about how much we really have, and how much we still crave for despite the many gifts, blessings and opportunities that are right in front of us.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Dad's roast preparation. Always thankful that we can afford this luxury of good nutritious meals, indulgent yorkshire puddings and lots of trimmings.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In the centre is one of my favourite images: my best friends and I on the last day of school before we commenced our GCSE's, reminding me of how lucky I was to receive good-quality education and find incredible, supportive and lasting friendships through those years</i>. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A place to rest my head each night, to sit on and ponder, to worry, to be comforted when ill. A place which some do not have due to war, seeking asylum, in cold hard prison cells for unjust accusations. Here, I can rest, relax, gather my strength for days to come and do it comfortably. That is a privilege.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A rail of clothes in a variety of colours which express my personality, keep me cool in summer and warm in winter, mixing functionality with human creativity. In my country I am not forced to wear something simply because I am a woman, a certain race, a certain religion. I can freely determine my own principals, and enjoy myself doing so.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The sunset outside my window, looking into London and beyond. The family home kept me secure for years. I grew up in a safe, nonthreatening area, albeit with a lot of hills! And cor, did I witness many a sunset from this window, forever reminding me how awesome nature is.</i></td></tr>
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These are the simple things, the easiest things to be thankful for. Nothing heroic. But even they can be swept over by the current of routine.<br />
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What will you intentionally be thankful for today?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-72902355545885310542014-09-18T10:14:00.002+01:002014-09-18T10:14:47.399+01:00Kefalonia // Holiday Snaps!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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To months ago, I returned back from the most relaxing and needed holiday of my life, and my first trip abroad in three years. It was one of those beautifully blissful periods of relaxing, catching up with my family, reading all the books I wanted to (I got through 7 in 12 days!), eating and a lot of swimming. We went to Kefalonia, a Greek island, and because it was slightly before school holidays we saw few tourists (and few people in general) and therefore it felt like a truly restful experience and a chance to really soak up the culture, Greek food and the island without feeling disturbed.</div>
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Our holidays usually revolve around beaches, but because we were on a island we really tried to explore all of it and did a few days spending hours driving along the vast coast, around mountains and hills, while I stuck my camera out of the window and snapped furiously away. I usually detest long drives, especially in the heat, but when you are surrounded by such vast beauty and have your headphones blasting out an anthemic Florence and the Machine song in one ear, you really are captured with a sense of the sublime and an awe of nature that in the everyday grind and self-absorption of life you completely miss, especially in London. The pictures barely capture it!</div>
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My family stayed in a villa, which felt extra secluded. We ate lots of bread and salad for lunch with feta, tzatziki and watermelon and swam in between reading chapters of books on our sun loungers. In the evenings we alternated with cooking in-house and going out to eat and experience food as the Greeks make it (don't bother with the Kefalonian meat pie: cheese and rice don't belong together!) before getting back and doing some crosswords while watching all the films that are too long to sit down and watch at home, my favourite of which was Cold Mountain. </div>
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It was probably the best holiday I have ever had, and I am so thankful that we were given a gift which enabled us to have the break we all needed and remind me of the great scale of the created earth. Swimming in a sea with the backdrop of a misty mountain top was just magical.</div>
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What are some of your favourite holiday memories?</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-24574047204055935162014-09-10T09:41:00.000+01:002014-09-10T09:41:38.329+01:00Helen Berhane's InspirationI watched a video not long ago that stuck with me like no other Youtube parody or fashion haul had. It was the story of a woman who was trapped in a shipping container day in, day out, enduring the suffocating heat by day and freezing at night. Yet, she was thankful: thankful for her beatings, the bugs that bit her, the fact that she was alive and enduring though despised and discarded, treated as inhuman.<br />
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I have had hard days these past weeks, and moaned within myself about them knowing that really, compared to so many others, I am incredibly blessed and provided for, that my life is sustained another day in a country that gives me so many freedoms and rights which allow me to live how I wish to live and give me opportunities I simply wouldn't get elsewhere. One of my passions in life has been supporting those who were persecuted for their religious beliefs because I am increasingly aware of the grace shown to me each week when I can walk into church and not have a care in the world apart from a few people slinging about the name of Jesus as if it were a swear word during my week. I do not suffer because I believe in something, and I am truly never thankful enough for that either. Yet this woman wasn't even thankful for the things which are obviously nice, which are obviously privileges and easy to be thankful for. She was thankful for things that would be daily annoyances, that would cause her pain and grief and leave her lonely, isolated. Her name is Helen Berhane, and she is inspiring.<br />
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This video also reminded me of a book I read a few years ago called 'The Hiding Place', in which Corrie Ten Boom writes the story of how her Christian family hid Jews fleeing from the Gestapo in Amsterdam before they were caught, taken to a concentration camp and split up, never to see one another again. While they were in these horrific conditions of the camp, she loses faith, becomes self-absorbed and discouraged, becomes bitter... a pretty natural reaction to what we now recognise as one of the most horrifying events in recent humanity. But her sister, on the other hand, has such a different attitude that at one point she thanks God for the flies that bite her in the night and keep her awake. We can barely deal with wasps in the summer - they spoil our barbeques! - yet she learns to love and cherish these beings though she was being torn apart by labour day and night, sleeping in a hot room with many others in inhumane conditions. Yes, she too was thankful.<br />
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And I suppose going round my house over the course of a few days is a pathetic attempt to instigate this sort of thankfulness in my own life. These are things to be obviously thankful for, to my shame. You don't see me taking pictures of the dust on my shelves or the bin, or the blemishes on my face, but I suppose someone as ungrateful as I am has to start somewhere.<br />
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Jesus said "Where your treasure is, there shall your heart be also", and I strive not to treasure and love my possessions so much that they become my identity and source of fulfillment in life. Heck, I've had to wean myself off lifestyle and home blogs because they make me so jealous and subconsciously give me the wrong view that these perfectly fitted and beautiful places complete a person, make them happier and more fulfilled when I know as a result of my Christian faith that there are higher things, greater things to set my mind on. But the things I do have are all gifts, graces, provisions, and I wish I appreciated them more. At the right time, they are given away to serve another, sold to fund something more pressing or passed on simply to recognise that I don't need as much as I thought I did to live. But for now, I can look at pictures that I have taken and think:<br />
"Yes, I am thankful."<br />
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And I hope that one day as I mature that my thankfulness extends as far as Helen Berhane's did, because I certainly am not there yet.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-65784656142788861572014-08-27T10:06:00.001+01:002014-08-27T10:09:13.948+01:00Advice from a Skint (ex) Londoner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, after my year in London living pretty minimally (I got money for food and travel and only a few times spent all of it) and learning about budgeting and how to enjoy the wonder of London alongside that, I thought I would do a quicker, more succinct (ha!) blog post about my experiences. Some of these might be pretty obvious, but some of these things I actually shared with colleagues of mine who had been living in London for years. It is amazing how many things pass you by!<br />
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1) Timeout London is your friend...<br />
And honestly, it got better and better as the year went on, with loads of lists of free things to do in music, art etc. as well as sections on what was on each day. I used this to plan many-a day trip, especially when I wanted it to stay within one localised area or borough to avoid excessive tube use. I just typed in the location or postcode and away we go.<br />
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2)... but it's not the only weapon!<br />
Over the year I found a great website called <a class="g-profile" href="https://plus.google.com/102624357132127855203" target="_blank">+BrokeinLondon</a> (Twitter: @Brokeinlondon1) through using the twitter page at work and trying to get our free events, workshops and platforms heard about. They followed us, I followed them and soon became an avid user. Every weekend they post their top five free things to do, every month they give you a day-by-day account of the best free cinema listings as well as CV tips and other articles about great new finds (we also might have been featured on a post about community cafes!) Alongside that, I came across a Twitter feed called SkintLondon which told me a good few times how to find free Ben and Jerry's!<br />
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3) Get yourself a railcard!<br />
It costs around £30 to buy but will save you around £3 everytime you buy an off-peak day travelcard (after 10:30 on weekdays) from Zones 1-6, which takes me from home into central London far cheaper than Oyster payment. I am also aware that you can add these onto your Oyster card somehow, but I don't know quite how yet.<br />
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4) Walk/ cycle<br />
In my last month, I was on a tighter travel budget so didn't buy my extortionate usual travelcard. This meant that all the little cheats I had been relying on before had to go - getting the bus a few stops over a bridge each morning just to leave about five minutes later was no longer worth the £1.45 it would set me back each day on Oyster pay as you go. Yes, I really am that pedantic about my money! I also walked to work, leaving 15 minutes earlier and saving myself a further £2.20 on the DLR. My job is pretty walking-heavy, however, but I do testify to the fact that many Londoners are hugely lazy when it comes to travel and are missing out on some spectacular sights and hidden finds while getting the tube. Alternatively, if you are brave, cycle and save yourself even more! I am not brave, so I walked along the cycle highway and breathed in the smell of East London.<br />
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5) Apps<br />
Sticking to the theme of travel, Citymapper was a huge favourite app of mine. It calculated how much different modes of transport would cost you, alongside the corresponding times and with walking and cycling, even worked out how many calories you would burn. I often found that sometimes taking one longer bus saved me a huge deal of money. It was also incredibly useful when those pesky weekend engineering works seemed to ruin all my plans. Vouchercloud was also hugely handy for restaurant codes. I managed to get 20% off Zizzi's multiple times when I saved up the money to go and it works using your location a lot of the time, very handy.<br />
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6) Covent Garden... just don't.<br />
This is something that can be said for all of the shopping destinations in London. Going up there in the summer holidays when I had money was loads of fun, but going there on a budget, trying to find a cheap lunch and window shopping just isn't fun, especially with the bustling weekend crowds that want to crush your bones. If you do find yourself here, the National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery are short walks away (don't you DARE get the tube to Leicester Square from Covent Garden, it is the shortest distance on the whole tube network). If you end up on Oxford Circus, walk away, most directions will do and there are some independent galleries around there as well as the British Museum if you wanted a longer walk. In fact, just avoid all tourist areas, there are normally better alternatives. My housemates told me that pedalo-ing in Regent's Park was half the price of Hyde Park so it pays to go a little out of the usual boundaries.<br />
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7) Look in your community.<br />
Working in a community cafe opened my eyes to how little people really knew about all the things that were available to them for very cheap prices without having to hop on any transport. We organised classes, free art platforms, free films... and people were astonished when they found out! Every youth has a church near them which would organise a youth club, and the amount of local galleries were insane. I found that both the White Cube and Fashion and Textile Museum were five minutes down the road from me. In terms of cheaper food, avoid avoid avoid the chains! Especially when it comes to coffee, the independents do it best and a lot of the time, cheaper and with a friendlier face attached. And all those weird little groceries near you? Go in them! Sometimes their fruit and veg will be cheaper than the supermarkets and it is a nice chance to engage with people in the community by supporting their businesses. I know a couple that got to know their local "samosa guy" that they invited him round for dinner!<br />
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8) Markets<br />
Ok, so my local market was Borough Market which didn't always have the cheapest deals and you certainly have to dig around for them, but they were there! My favourite memory of Borough Market was going at 10 in the morning and hunting down loads of freebies, filling us right up so that we only paid £2 each for a shared salad deal which we sat and ate in the sun outside Southwark Cathedral. We might have gone back for more bread and oil afterwards, too. I would also advise going near closing time for some cheaper fruits. I have also managed to haggle some cheap deals on clothes in Spitalfields and generally have a gander with stallholders and it can be a great way to spend a day if you can resist buying too much and check on vouchercloud for deals on lunch or cake. Unfortunately, I would not consider myself a market expert and would definitely go with a small budget, but it's definitely one of the cheaper and more amiable ways to spend a day. Plus, lots of photography opportunities (just ask the stallholders first, ey!)<br />
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9) Sit still!<br />
Londoners don't stop, or they become reclusive. Go to a public space, a park, a square, a bench of sorts, and take it in. There might be a view, a smell, a group of people. Sit down, have a think about life, read that book that you haven't made time in your hectic lifestyle to read, and then walk to your next destination (drinks with a friend? - probs)<br />
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10) All the obvious advice below.<br />
Eat out less, plan your meals, turn the heating down a bit and throw on a jumper... everything that your mum tells you and your grandparents practised in the days after rationing. It's even more important to do this in London where your bills and food costs are higher! Sometimes, meeting with friends and doing a co-op meal is much nicer than eating out in a dingy, loud restaurant anyway.<br />
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Do you have any tips for living and socialising in London on a budget? Any recommendations (links to blog posts please!) on cheap eats or days out? Let me know in the comments.<br />
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-Antonia<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-587162449011319902014-08-26T19:15:00.000+01:002014-08-26T19:15:32.413+01:00London Nostalgia<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH3m6eX6FjKQmyJXS5w10QxOS83tPKqHbYdGtiwBLJu6KXlpDxXZ8YmqUkbXRNWlxjSLcj4ylwm7fScLbsqOVnBB_Z555orSo2ZhfdgRuyVOWdBjBvWLSj4568LRE984itsoJp8ajWHXMm/s1600/DSC_0884.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH3m6eX6FjKQmyJXS5w10QxOS83tPKqHbYdGtiwBLJu6KXlpDxXZ8YmqUkbXRNWlxjSLcj4ylwm7fScLbsqOVnBB_Z555orSo2ZhfdgRuyVOWdBjBvWLSj4568LRE984itsoJp8ajWHXMm/s1600/DSC_0884.JPG" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, it has been a month since I packed my bags, cried, and left my temporary home in London. Since then, I have blogged little, and I have three reasons for this. </div>
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1) Lack of time</div>
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A few days after I arrived back in my childhood home, back into my room which actually felt like mine and didn't have horrendous curtains, I started a new job, and it was far more stressful than I thought. The pay wasn't what they said, nor were the hours, and I found myself working five or six hours a day, six days a week and trying to fit all my friends in between, which I remained unsuccessful at because I was so tired of all the adjustment! I have finally found a routine, had enough time catching up and hanging out with my family in the evenings, sorted out all my junk in my room and am ready to sink back into this corner of the internet.</div>
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2) Laptop issues!</div>
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Just as I returned, the laptop charger that I had bought as a replacement started to hack up. I typed one handed for a few weeks, endured holding the charger in at stupid angles and constant beeping before I gave it and bought a new one, only for the RAM to stop working and for my laptop not to turn on. Never, ever, get a Packard Bell, ladies and gents.</div>
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3) I am lazy</div>
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Self-explanatory.</div>
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So, to get myself in the blogging mood once more, and to reminisce the times I had in London which sadly feel far away and forgotten already, I thought I would share some snaps that haven't featured on here before that I am particularly proud of. I thought that this summer I would be returning to London at least once a week to explore what I didn't before, but alas my job has made that redundant, and so I explore London now through the files on my laptop and the ponderings which go alongside them.</div>
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Enjoy! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXo7IbVbFr1xXJJc7desI6vcdhOHC0hSZKdYRFg8RGmz-3MapDXpWARdm64IRRyfWi2uSvwk4XH0ZfJ8pWJ0U3dMSkEjT1pMilxQIfvuzfmrM-2deHRWkl7uxXengrrF3ucZrciXmdRKUU/s1600/DSC_0248.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><i><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXo7IbVbFr1xXJJc7desI6vcdhOHC0hSZKdYRFg8RGmz-3MapDXpWARdm64IRRyfWi2uSvwk4XH0ZfJ8pWJ0U3dMSkEjT1pMilxQIfvuzfmrM-2deHRWkl7uxXengrrF3ucZrciXmdRKUU/s1600/DSC_0248.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></i></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In the heart of Theatreland, the Shaftsbury Theatre has an olden charm which I could not resist photographing. Just look at the colour of that brickwork and the contrasting tones and perspectives. I love it.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPCM42-UBdSQuRqO9W-lGtK0aYRp9jnPSaqdyy2Nb-q24L1QQOQ6Ora4BXHiw8G3l1xM_2NzUDcDuWdABqmjSJv_rmA9MWr-SDpold_nB2eBpQ8LWmCXYswEjZdJr1jTTWEevvn7fMx74t/s1600/DSC_0313.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPCM42-UBdSQuRqO9W-lGtK0aYRp9jnPSaqdyy2Nb-q24L1QQOQ6Ora4BXHiw8G3l1xM_2NzUDcDuWdABqmjSJv_rmA9MWr-SDpold_nB2eBpQ8LWmCXYswEjZdJr1jTTWEevvn7fMx74t/s1600/DSC_0313.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A sight I saw every day: a bridge in Bermondsey with the most dangerous and unpredictable crossing ever, used to make late-night trips to the co-op to get milk and romanticised by warm sunlight. The trainline that runs along here takes me to and from my childhood home and whenever I was on the train I could spot my London home through the window and it always gave me such an amazing feeling to know that I was returning to a place that equally felt like home, with housemates that made the brown furnishings seem insignificant!</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcORTkD3A0zK52nbxsbMaFc8ePVaJLL5lCwPx-6-qPDiCRR3goWdMkP-Hh0Vv169dhamUBzDF04r2AlKoRZHN9R9FOK1IkBzggIo0VNA5osZuleIcJ9qqoDMxQ5w1gq1wwS0RAdu5bf7wk/s1600/DSC_0278.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcORTkD3A0zK52nbxsbMaFc8ePVaJLL5lCwPx-6-qPDiCRR3goWdMkP-Hh0Vv169dhamUBzDF04r2AlKoRZHN9R9FOK1IkBzggIo0VNA5osZuleIcJ9qqoDMxQ5w1gq1wwS0RAdu5bf7wk/s1600/DSC_0278.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Let's be honest, I just thought that the bright blue colour of this building was amazing and reminded me more of a beach hut, yet sat in London's Soho. </i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Npv3bcRexA0-6OACVbplqPmnbzDQtS-J4gy0jKB_9LVSpn3n3OCBoZijHqsixGsa1wFPsPQWEubSHRTnVWAha9BaDG5yJl1AJqNeni-YzaX5VhDeipFxbbdcSCcB2AvQIp2T4NYfbvJg/s1600/DSC_0286.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Npv3bcRexA0-6OACVbplqPmnbzDQtS-J4gy0jKB_9LVSpn3n3OCBoZijHqsixGsa1wFPsPQWEubSHRTnVWAha9BaDG5yJl1AJqNeni-YzaX5VhDeipFxbbdcSCcB2AvQIp2T4NYfbvJg/s1600/DSC_0286.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>There I am. Clever shot, if I do say so. (Note the sarcasm)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMPimqJDrRG-o5OZmN4gMkljaKw8vYl8qZQPT4RIYd9AI7FewVgBqkk0EeLR2hKAwEhrQb0gMt8cEMHNp-O_1nxhypAKTHXcnnoFjgAJ9UIQXArJb9ufKGnAP6s_9IiI6tV9bhIwS8XHV/s1600/DSC_0315.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBMPimqJDrRG-o5OZmN4gMkljaKw8vYl8qZQPT4RIYd9AI7FewVgBqkk0EeLR2hKAwEhrQb0gMt8cEMHNp-O_1nxhypAKTHXcnnoFjgAJ9UIQXArJb9ufKGnAP6s_9IiI6tV9bhIwS8XHV/s1600/DSC_0315.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The road I lived on, pictured from that dangerous crossing. I walked over that Bridge every day, visited the Wetherspoons pub behind the tree on the right all too frequently (especially during the World cup!), heard children playing in the school opposite, and saw the orange and grey building in the foreground burn down from my window about a week after this picture was taken. </i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ADscVARln0qAHpv72iasT9zm57xN8dYX9tGgWmceiNyUgfy-303syB7x3M0MBh-RP56GuTd755qWikAvWGK2Pkqe040uaa1WUuJMxpH8SMtHxezgZKNZaR_opceZ3L3KAFCGeH0kmldt/s1600/DSC_0484.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ADscVARln0qAHpv72iasT9zm57xN8dYX9tGgWmceiNyUgfy-303syB7x3M0MBh-RP56GuTd755qWikAvWGK2Pkqe040uaa1WUuJMxpH8SMtHxezgZKNZaR_opceZ3L3KAFCGeH0kmldt/s1600/DSC_0484.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Taken from my vantage point at West End Live, this captures the regal, old London monuments and Christian history as well as the tourist history and the vibrancy of London by including all the out of focus heads. It helped that this was probably the hottest day I experienced in London to capture that glorious blue sky and the rich greens of the trees.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1690CHATypmVpi-q8xzhbhHYuN2z0ab39lTbyMiphBV9GW3opSgsDltHIQtDyZDN6Pzku2ACDjw7ueQxZsqmekBFFuj3z-UxHcJS2yT0R5um0Wl8mywXxliwa5xCoBMrfFKdfrZHv2GPO/s1600/DSC_0780.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1690CHATypmVpi-q8xzhbhHYuN2z0ab39lTbyMiphBV9GW3opSgsDltHIQtDyZDN6Pzku2ACDjw7ueQxZsqmekBFFuj3z-UxHcJS2yT0R5um0Wl8mywXxliwa5xCoBMrfFKdfrZHv2GPO/s1600/DSC_0780.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The grime and dirt of London, contrasted with the glamour and riches of the Shard from the train window. I like this photograph because the grime, graffiti and ugly building is shone on by the sunlight, yet the Shard is masked by dirt on the window, almost a hologram or printed on top as an afterthought in black and white. </i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvl3o73K81B8I9A3VqdtgZtAXUDG5bqfaZdN5ULsbi8cKfIcSqHD4vMYwq03RVpNC-FWQzGepurPDTQLkkTx7i-PhRr-fuNny0KUWSJ2ALWIGHGftqv4oOo0gUbzD6MCur_nIaz7WYzAU9/s1600/DSC_0778.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvl3o73K81B8I9A3VqdtgZtAXUDG5bqfaZdN5ULsbi8cKfIcSqHD4vMYwq03RVpNC-FWQzGepurPDTQLkkTx7i-PhRr-fuNny0KUWSJ2ALWIGHGftqv4oOo0gUbzD6MCur_nIaz7WYzAU9/s1600/DSC_0778.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisup2YBqMJdoeQTkD1e8uTMGm-FDS2ykk1NZWFqOSr96ZEJXiVfC_WoX8ycFz9p4mnVtnIOWzONZScdl1TO5OHfn7QqugO_5_QdiFtzNE0ONOTulKEBamNNjpg02INDUevzY_j8O6pv_rM/s1600/DSC_0191.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisup2YBqMJdoeQTkD1e8uTMGm-FDS2ykk1NZWFqOSr96ZEJXiVfC_WoX8ycFz9p4mnVtnIOWzONZScdl1TO5OHfn7QqugO_5_QdiFtzNE0ONOTulKEBamNNjpg02INDUevzY_j8O6pv_rM/s1600/DSC_0191.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Taken on a beautiful day where we took a spontaneous walk, I just love the colours in this photograph as well as all the contrast in buildings: the modernity of Blackfriars Bridge against St Paul's Cathedral.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7Fn6S_T3YJ6j7wuMSFtlaFCYBktCN0_eU6c_Swp1bGBN1qCx5t6mJF792ck1b7E5i6fg9dwTLUHzwrgQ7GN39oy3YuK067jH33azaRMfTyK0yoMC4mEOvJZDmkgt-exuPJvPRb0_BGl3/s1600/DSC_0064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7Fn6S_T3YJ6j7wuMSFtlaFCYBktCN0_eU6c_Swp1bGBN1qCx5t6mJF792ck1b7E5i6fg9dwTLUHzwrgQ7GN39oy3YuK067jH33azaRMfTyK0yoMC4mEOvJZDmkgt-exuPJvPRb0_BGl3/s1600/DSC_0064.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She walks, and nobody noticed but me.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV4693RFKx_67iOkxl8ibBHirLfEmKQ03bkmL270wzi7WpbVlirGxTKczDe73ih4H0DSEYJgG3b-w-9Kt-bKpE498Tfx_vTd1W9YF1860F0N4xL6phObFZ6JRDETGIsqIv3yCq8nx6mdfH/s1600/DSC_1553.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV4693RFKx_67iOkxl8ibBHirLfEmKQ03bkmL270wzi7WpbVlirGxTKczDe73ih4H0DSEYJgG3b-w-9Kt-bKpE498Tfx_vTd1W9YF1860F0N4xL6phObFZ6JRDETGIsqIv3yCq8nx6mdfH/s1600/DSC_1553.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Taken from halfway up the stairs on the Monument, I love the angle of this photograph and it's rigidness in all it's lines, completely ruined by the blurry shadow of my friend Hope. I remember this moment because she was very scared of these steps.</i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4-h-v5ECP0ElYGE9v0ctQrCeGTlZtZMP38PCXvWHfvfPSWjo0POXzGlZlhaTcEdNiFhj_JrAEpS4bQFRUecP0uOOPzna5pcokdjsfdEzE_DHhDgJhqIm0zmOReVg4Z2U-hkpR4FVXGFq/s1600/DSC_1594.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4-h-v5ECP0ElYGE9v0ctQrCeGTlZtZMP38PCXvWHfvfPSWjo0POXzGlZlhaTcEdNiFhj_JrAEpS4bQFRUecP0uOOPzna5pcokdjsfdEzE_DHhDgJhqIm0zmOReVg4Z2U-hkpR4FVXGFq/s1600/DSC_1594.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs__oCbnTBd1rbZBQBRcj30hBc1FKuCAcETf6hWl6-jKiJLBEUruZmgitnm6WBCNhpa8-JCvA8C0YDXCmr8YwtpuWp39CAhrVqeNdBE559oYta2J_hiVgYtwJwYpd-oQ1I_pnpzupe5zTt/s1600/DSC_1530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs__oCbnTBd1rbZBQBRcj30hBc1FKuCAcETf6hWl6-jKiJLBEUruZmgitnm6WBCNhpa8-JCvA8C0YDXCmr8YwtpuWp39CAhrVqeNdBE559oYta2J_hiVgYtwJwYpd-oQ1I_pnpzupe5zTt/s1600/DSC_1530.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I like this photograph purely for the clarifying yellow which declares my whereabouts in contrast with the unknown blurry man in the foreground. It really conveys what the atmosphere is like: bustling, colourful, with so many treats and treasures in sight!</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfIF7wcHHSHLrH7aEbW8_zhNAJx5InobTt1htN5T1_O9F-irzniPUPV1C7F1gRJycHAynj9gPzb-altidDs81F77IQB2DNH9qgPmVnb1LVsQSvg8WvtDus4LXuz6W8ZMvy1qHpyAiVCH4v/s1600/DSC_1103.JPG" height="428" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A view from Tower Bridge, obscured by the famous windows which from below you wouldn't even think that there were people behind (or that they were windows... more like elaborate decoration!)</i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfIF7wcHHSHLrH7aEbW8_zhNAJx5InobTt1htN5T1_O9F-irzniPUPV1C7F1gRJycHAynj9gPzb-altidDs81F77IQB2DNH9qgPmVnb1LVsQSvg8WvtDus4LXuz6W8ZMvy1qHpyAiVCH4v/s1600/DSC_1103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfIF7wcHHSHLrH7aEbW8_zhNAJx5InobTt1htN5T1_O9F-irzniPUPV1C7F1gRJycHAynj9gPzb-altidDs81F77IQB2DNH9qgPmVnb1LVsQSvg8WvtDus4LXuz6W8ZMvy1qHpyAiVCH4v/s1600/DSC_1103.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYbTIW9aMXWa9eXjp8P7vdkUyULhwEU02BC7c2cA2r48BtnUc85dM2HyubtQW4ZMgyOSSSoiaeeVJ852Jzp6vjE5EZ99kqEUkivHKyn3Mdtlx3zCAPMNsNRA0L9EB8uU0IkK4_0F4_SvII/s1600/DSC_1162.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYbTIW9aMXWa9eXjp8P7vdkUyULhwEU02BC7c2cA2r48BtnUc85dM2HyubtQW4ZMgyOSSSoiaeeVJ852Jzp6vjE5EZ99kqEUkivHKyn3Mdtlx3zCAPMNsNRA0L9EB8uU0IkK4_0F4_SvII/s1600/DSC_1162.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Oh, you beauty! They would never in this day make a bridge like you, and you have survived so much. It's amazing to see you up close, dear Tower, and I have missed seeing your splendour every day rather than the concrete buildings of my home town. Also, the angles on this photograph. The lines! The perspective!</i></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxNoCYkUkSRGkzPPyHIXJg0ifFL9SgtmS88xN86zyHNYc7lmFm_tQj7bGtYjZcGQkot8LNBksTgqbCRnK0lVOmUb-SxoS4DPJGwXerh6bFc8SSWaQCUq7wAsxVn766d1v6riQfXOQAdzmN/s1600/DSC_1324.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxNoCYkUkSRGkzPPyHIXJg0ifFL9SgtmS88xN86zyHNYc7lmFm_tQj7bGtYjZcGQkot8LNBksTgqbCRnK0lVOmUb-SxoS4DPJGwXerh6bFc8SSWaQCUq7wAsxVn766d1v6riQfXOQAdzmN/s1600/DSC_1324.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A photograph taken at dusk from my beloved DLR train, and I even love the fact that it is wonky, framed by modern buildings and depicting a modern skyline, but still with the old street lamps hanging proudly and catching your eye to rival the modernity. I just love the muted colours of this photograph.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB2ZuXCXFfbenSKqEI4SmkZzLCa0YXodx3q-q3HMhY0d8LpEM8B2IJMETnb9frleQQ0jEMfdKHsEeS1HKogdy2m1fd6Kf8UbOG6T-X7EuqFOSgs_XlvqfhiyQqnbG2QkS8bspR6DXICE2C/s1600/DSC_1403.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><i><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB2ZuXCXFfbenSKqEI4SmkZzLCa0YXodx3q-q3HMhY0d8LpEM8B2IJMETnb9frleQQ0jEMfdKHsEeS1HKogdy2m1fd6Kf8UbOG6T-X7EuqFOSgs_XlvqfhiyQqnbG2QkS8bspR6DXICE2C/s1600/DSC_1403.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></i></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nothing like a bit of lens flare to make Greenwich look even more dreamy than it is.<br /><br /></i></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMtn3ktonNHFLrl_gaqyNCvmwLpxzcIrCA_IwBn4qEm-PLFdTTJY5afsQW6hawoIfXpH8hjagpC52DvFrmo8_myt3gT4BIWAeec1SqrQyQXLsoajYcmyS-GfW6lxveu6G6zpBJ8nttLlm/s1600/DSC_0916.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMMtn3ktonNHFLrl_gaqyNCvmwLpxzcIrCA_IwBn4qEm-PLFdTTJY5afsQW6hawoIfXpH8hjagpC52DvFrmo8_myt3gT4BIWAeec1SqrQyQXLsoajYcmyS-GfW6lxveu6G6zpBJ8nttLlm/s1600/DSC_0916.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Love the grainy mood to this picture, as well as all the criss-cross lines of the structure of the Eye, the Embankment Bridge and Blackfriars just next door, all with contrasting warm and cools tones of the different lighting.</i></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH3m6eX6FjKQmyJXS5w10QxOS83tPKqHbYdGtiwBLJu6KXlpDxXZ8YmqUkbXRNWlxjSLcj4ylwm7fScLbsqOVnBB_Z555orSo2ZhfdgRuyVOWdBjBvWLSj4568LRE984itsoJp8ajWHXMm/s1600/DSC_0884.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH3m6eX6FjKQmyJXS5w10QxOS83tPKqHbYdGtiwBLJu6KXlpDxXZ8YmqUkbXRNWlxjSLcj4ylwm7fScLbsqOVnBB_Z555orSo2ZhfdgRuyVOWdBjBvWLSj4568LRE984itsoJp8ajWHXMm/s1600/DSC_0884.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Simples.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQtqPt6kEjQQ_SHgPYq6A71HS2d1nchsyLllB1FFZNls60ghXQ4Rdpwb9NFRcC38OMq-zFoCieSSN6wqGXg_pGOMk4M4jOF5lPA3cGKxhaB0diW5MuTFeDf1cvMLUWUX0v3fksth5P_maY/s1600/DSC_0918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQtqPt6kEjQQ_SHgPYq6A71HS2d1nchsyLllB1FFZNls60ghXQ4Rdpwb9NFRcC38OMq-zFoCieSSN6wqGXg_pGOMk4M4jOF5lPA3cGKxhaB0diW5MuTFeDf1cvMLUWUX0v3fksth5P_maY/s1600/DSC_0918.JPG" height="640" width="428" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I love the windy road, the looming street lamp, the old buildings against the glassy cool of the Shard, a whole other London captured within minutes of it's modern, chic rival.</i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpfjqIY1tUeSEvLxCaUJHtj2VoRKf7a9nINO3DAIJaBpqZuVPI_ItejFK2W3nMCSKqaPBbDgWf-wFr31SSA05efJTLsXzNWEGDeTkfFwzVvtgMV2UpAC52HNBRopUaQIbWhG0w8dg4Eqjw/s1600/DSC_0932.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpfjqIY1tUeSEvLxCaUJHtj2VoRKf7a9nINO3DAIJaBpqZuVPI_ItejFK2W3nMCSKqaPBbDgWf-wFr31SSA05efJTLsXzNWEGDeTkfFwzVvtgMV2UpAC52HNBRopUaQIbWhG0w8dg4Eqjw/s1600/DSC_0932.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjiGRz_KmURRKwapc2q40MNbEQzHxPp30TORb6RMpNeYBdOr02xbie5UdJP9Ykv3idg7fJ5PWs7EBvU624LSmgDaG6JGNQieVm77_wvleQLJA03Jb5glvm0IAICMB29o6AGGTKoinS9ChQ/s1600/DSC_0935.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjiGRz_KmURRKwapc2q40MNbEQzHxPp30TORb6RMpNeYBdOr02xbie5UdJP9Ykv3idg7fJ5PWs7EBvU624LSmgDaG6JGNQieVm77_wvleQLJA03Jb5glvm0IAICMB29o6AGGTKoinS9ChQ/s1600/DSC_0935.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Old streets just melt my heart, especially when they have abandoned shops with adorably cute paint colours, chipped with age as London moves on elsewhere (in this case, just down the road!)</i></td></tr>
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And the rambles commence and I am wishing that I could just explore again!<br />
<br />
Where have you explored recently? Or what time in your life are you having nostalgia for recently? Link me yours posts and tell me your thoughts in the comments. Because I like human interaction and human stories.<br />
<br />
-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-6048228437823019942014-07-27T18:38:00.004+01:002014-07-27T18:40:39.063+01:00Eleven Months to Grow a Girl<div dir="ltr">
A few years ago, at the ripe old age of 16 (ha!), I felt a strong call to do a gap year, to spend a year growing and learning and seeing where God could bring me as a person, use me for His glory and share His amazing story along the way. I did not know what that might look like and I certainly would never have imagined the past eleven months as they were back then. And now, I leave London with a greater vision, less fear of the future, a greater truth in God's purposes, a passion for building community, a more balanced life that is shaped by service rather than self-ambition, great friends, amazing mentors, and a rich rich thankfulness. I can't explain how this year has shaken me as a person in all aspects of my life, how it has made me wrestle with the way I live my life in an often painful way, and realigned my life to see greater things, greater plans and be ready for the future.</div>
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I remember when I was applying for University and I struggled to get excited about it. I didn't feel ready, I didn't want to learn for three years when I could be doing things, making an impact. I didn't want to be swept up in a culture that rid me of my current identity and once again forced me into thinking that knowledge, learning and achievements are what my identity rides on. Now, I feel ready. I have had a year of giving, learning, loving and I have a healthier perspective of what University can offer me and exactly why I am going. Yes, I want to get a degree which can give me access to better jobs and opportunities (although I am a big believer in alternative methods and explored many of them before finally deciding that to accept my place at University was the right thing for me) and I want to have the 'experience' that so many grads harp on about (although this year has been a wonderful experience also, and one I would not trade for an earlier graduation). But now I go knowing exactly what I want out of that experience, how I can serve and grow and learn and keep a healthy attitude to what really matters. </div>
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The past eleven months have grown me as a girl by forcing me into an adult world of adult problems. It forced me to work out the struggles of routine, of priorities, of living with people who won't make you dinner and wash your clothes and who hold you responsible for your own welfare (let's be honest, living at home is not the same), to think independently and to love in a deeper, richer and relentless way. The work I have done has been hard. I have been working in a highly skilled team who intimidated me for the first few months with their togetherness and social life, who showed me what it was to work hard but also the joys of rest, and got me out of my bubble of only hanging out with people my own age. I have been working in a community with cultural and age differences where prejudice is still rife and trying to unite them and cross those boundaries, loving people who are hard to love, serving them in their greatest need and putting up with their many character traits which are fraustrating as anything. I have taken responsibility and ownership for my work, building my own relationships in an environment that does not give you a handy mark scheme so you can see your progress or tick boxes like you can with an A Level essay. </div>
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I've also learnt little things like budgeting money (on a much tighter budget than Student Finance let me tell you!), and socialising! Yep, I was the girl who chose to spend pretty much all her Saturdays essay writing rather than working just that little bit harder in the week. I was rubbish at making plans and worried far too much about getting things done. I now feel confident just to grab a camera and walk around London, to meet friends after work (an evening out on a school night? Goodness gracious), to enjoy all the free and wonderful things London has to offer, including the company of my housemates. I have learnt to live in community with others rather than just shutting myself in my room for the day with my laptop and a bowl of pasta; I can cook a lot better, too! </div>
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Basically, life happened and forced me to grow up. I worked the hardest I have ever and faced real struggles, taking on the emotional pain of others, a broken heart for the poor and marginalised. I cried with the anxiety of taking upon myself the welfare of these people and cried out for strength to love these people and push aside my humiliation, awkwardness and fear. But alongside that, I came out wanting to do that full-time some day. To invest myself fully into a lifestyle that is shaped by sacrifice. But I know I have to grow a lot, lot more for it not to break me, and to do that job to the best of my ability, with a greater commitment and heart and passion.</div>
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The other day, I even referred to myself as a woman, and I think that is a pretty big deal.</div>
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-Antonia</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-90219322727881767222014-07-24T18:00:00.000+01:002014-07-24T18:00:04.058+01:00Eleven Month Review // June - July <div dir="ltr">
And like that, the months rushed by and my crazy journey in London came to an end. I went to London and came back to find three housemates missing and only three days of work ahead of me, a celebration and then a speedy exit. Hoovering my room, stripping the bed, rearranging the room back to it's original deosng and shutting the door on the best experience of my life. I have LOVED writing these monthly reflections and it reminds me so tangibly of all the memories that I have made and how each month I have overcome struggles and found ways to enjoy my time in spite of the things I have disliked about my hear, and also to reflect on all the weird things I have shared, discovered and loved. This is the last of these posts and I can't wait to resume these kinds of posts at University, the next journey of my life, halfway through every term. This post will be a reflection of my last month (and a half!) and there is another coming on my reflections on the whole year! </div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->1)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Weirdest thing you have seen in London this
month?</div>
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This is not the weirdest thing that I have seen (because
that kind of thing is very blurred living in such a diverse place) but my weirdest
experience by far was being approached while I was on Tower Bridge at four in
the morning by a bunch of random guys who wanted to take a picture with us. I
would normally be the kind of person who would cut and run, especially as I was
barefoot in my pyjamas with a duvet wrapped around me. However, my housemates
are more outgoing and went the extra mile by posting it on facebook, prompting
many confused questions from relatives. It was probably one of the strangest
experiences ever. Warning to all: don’t go to Tower Bridge on Summer Solstace
early in the morning (or, in fact, ever early in the morning) because there are
strange people everywhere.</div>
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</span><!--[endif]-->Particular highlights of this month</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdvRfaSZsXrzNYRGVOC1BKZu03s7RyqztfUEd9dQmN46PGggaYV-mOL1gwMce10MmCC2q50DHSVYTK3xYvjBCGA4moFjdzzCMLEwBAJZJnRjIlpT2zHWddQQBVgolyXXXdMhqmyimk5bdj/s1600/1404905315783.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdvRfaSZsXrzNYRGVOC1BKZu03s7RyqztfUEd9dQmN46PGggaYV-mOL1gwMce10MmCC2q50DHSVYTK3xYvjBCGA4moFjdzzCMLEwBAJZJnRjIlpT2zHWddQQBVgolyXXXdMhqmyimk5bdj/s1600/1404905315783.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKvzf22OkLSZ-HF4BUmg4FuPYBLnS5zfJ5jAyrQKDqAR5qgHnFxcjARy4N3plgmxA1PZBxoy_F8NMsmllnIgomOl1PRCzdeM1-Y4kcV2sjWJk1aTMlXlcXy_W7wb6l4tF5qaCvo8fZ6VL/s1600/1404072288181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNKvzf22OkLSZ-HF4BUmg4FuPYBLnS5zfJ5jAyrQKDqAR5qgHnFxcjARy4N3plgmxA1PZBxoy_F8NMsmllnIgomOl1PRCzdeM1-Y4kcV2sjWJk1aTMlXlcXy_W7wb6l4tF5qaCvo8fZ6VL/s1600/1404072288181.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Unfortunately the only pictures I have of said sunset are on my<br />phone, of which the quality is pretty abominable when I transfer<br />my images to PC, so these are taken from Instagram.</i></td></tr>
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Honestly, this is a tough one as it spans longer than a
month, and as my last few moments were treasured I did a lot of things to make
my time count! Lucky for you, there is a prelude to the aforementioned creepy men on Tower
Bridge incident. At 2am on that Saturday I got a knock on my door and behind it
a very panicked housemate. There was a fire right outside our house in the
building next door which resulted in us calling the fire brigade, setting off
our fire alarm, being evacuated and standing on one of London’s main roads in
our pyjamas, cradling crying babies. After around 20 minutes we were given the
all clear but the building next door still had their fire alarm going. Turns
out that, like the oven glove incident, I am pretty calm in a crisis and only
got my adrenaline rush once I got back into bed an hour later, and could not
for the life of me get to sleep. My room also smelt like smoke as I had opened
my window to check the fire and as the nearest window to the patch, the smoke
wafted in a great quantity into my room. The smell was choking me so I moved
downstairs to our sofa and as the sun started to rise, decided that it was too
good of an opportunity to miss. Along with two other eager housemates, we
grabbed our duvets for warmth and watched the sunrise over the Thames on the
longest day of the year. It was absolutely stunning and one of the best nights
of my entire year. We got back and still couldn’t sleep, so ate breakfast at
around five in the morning, watched a bit of telly and nodded off... only to
wake up two hours later to head off to queue for West End Live, an annual event
taking place in Trafalgar Square which I have gone to nearly every year of
late. </div>
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It was scorching and I was ridiculously tired but it was so much fun to
watch some amazing performances from talented performers from musicals, many of
them in full costume. We left at around three in the afternoon having not eaten
anything since our early breakfast apart from some nuts and headed to Ed’s
Diner for a burger, chips, onion rings and fresh water! Best. Day. Ever.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8b_EUbYckrAF8xcrWyzT_2EB83_ewE31vlvpd1RH0OzxmieN_aJwhfGs8JdY4G71DQblY5rAuFXn1Scy8sIdE_Z3bly3Vmrk0VClX4lJXfQgzlZAHabNL1LOkO79Cys-9aW-Gcsp1ue3S/s1600/DSC_0659.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8b_EUbYckrAF8xcrWyzT_2EB83_ewE31vlvpd1RH0OzxmieN_aJwhfGs8JdY4G71DQblY5rAuFXn1Scy8sIdE_Z3bly3Vmrk0VClX4lJXfQgzlZAHabNL1LOkO79Cys-9aW-Gcsp1ue3S/s1600/DSC_0659.JPG" height="324" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The only shot of the Les Mis set where there weren't 436204297 phones in the air.</i></td></tr>
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I also had the priviledge of getting a pretty cheap ticket
to see Mis Saigon the Musical (£15, absolute winner). I may have forgotten my
glasses (d’oh!) but it was incredible nonetheless, the singing was so powerful.
This was accompanied by a journey round Soho taking many a picture. Other
Saturdays were spent brunching with housemates where I discovered the beauty of
Bill’s, wandering round the Tate Modern and meeting up with some school friends
to wander along the Thames in the pouring rain and diving into The Real Greek
for some yummy meze, which we made last until the rain finished and we could
commence. This evening ended up with us going on a further quest to find cheap
theatre tickets by power-walking through the West End to various theatres. It
was a blistering walk which was to no avail but I suppose it wore off the
effects of the meze!</div>
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And, predictably, June (and a bit of July!) was filled with
walks in summer evenings and some cracking world cup games, watched in the
local pub with some chips. Yum.</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->3)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Favourite/least favourite part of your work this
month?</div>
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It is hard to write this because I have struggled a lot with
leaving over the last month, with emotions going from “I can’t wait to get out
of here, this job is so hard” to “how could I ever leave such an amazing job to
go to University, am I mad?”. However, I have had some amazing moments and on a
day when I really broke down, so many people were there for me and showed me
how grateful they were for the work I have been doing there. There was one
particular moment which brings a tear to my eyes when I think about it. I
received a hug from a colleague after she spotted me sneaking away for a little
cry and I honestly felt such a wave of love from her. It is a difficult emotion
to capture, but it changed the face of the rest of my time left. I have also
enjoyed the excitement of change that my job is going through. After I leave
there are so many new and exciting things to look forward to and it looks like
the whole face of the place will change for the better. In a way, that’s also
my least favourite part because I am leaving at a really pivotal moment for the
business and it is changing in all the ways that I anticipated and longed for
when I was struggling, which is frustrating as I can’t reap the benefits!
However, that is also extremely humbling as I realise that sometimes you have
to leave things behind and move on, even though I have found that process a
long and sad one.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGJpD2VNS09O8I4ijO90Tk73x2LpP_Du6R-GT-BzmLSmS29JzrrUjWQvT7tRf8N-ZiKCtxCZAv1ibfOlNPlh5Hn5kPTAMJh8o55dXi5nLj_iUtUbAi05h4V9cUxP6XdKH1sZtKQabBrcQ5/s640/2014-07-09%25252012.32.17%2525201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGJpD2VNS09O8I4ijO90Tk73x2LpP_Du6R-GT-BzmLSmS29JzrrUjWQvT7tRf8N-ZiKCtxCZAv1ibfOlNPlh5Hn5kPTAMJh8o55dXi5nLj_iUtUbAi05h4V9cUxP6XdKH1sZtKQabBrcQ5/s640/2014-07-09%25252012.32.17%2525201.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This month I have discovered some truly joyous salads in my tastebuds. Wild rice, grape, roasted veg, feta, pomegranate seeds and regular seeds to top it!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I almost forgot this, but I also filmed a section for a
documentary this month inspired by the life that I have lead this past year. It
is for an independent company and they are getting stories of Christian faith
from all around the world from Christians in the 18-30s generation. It was such
a load of fun to film in the basement of my work (watching the crew try to
stifle their laughter made me feel like I was doing a good job) and there was free
pizza, too. I think being an avid Youtube consumer it made me realise how fun
it can be to talk to a camera about yourself and about issues that you think
matter.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6nKURHHSo9Px9AIh3fYJS-dQ9d8CWyZ7w4ZHpP0NUVcHz-45ztWRj75ZS5uGu9I2LxH5q61dRQMIH_3lAbWLdvyaFxPdGMzP-6khSnlMacbbrv0ZqwRYFo0Df_OE8uwTwrOKZ2dVbS4V3/s640/2014-06-24%25252012.08.32%2525201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6nKURHHSo9Px9AIh3fYJS-dQ9d8CWyZ7w4ZHpP0NUVcHz-45ztWRj75ZS5uGu9I2LxH5q61dRQMIH_3lAbWLdvyaFxPdGMzP-6khSnlMacbbrv0ZqwRYFo0Df_OE8uwTwrOKZ2dVbS4V3/s640/2014-06-24%25252012.08.32%2525201.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Some of my favourite food on the menu all in the same day - that kind of stuff makes it hard to leave a place. University meals will not be up to this standard (stodgy nightmares, apparently)</i></td></tr>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->4)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Hardest part of your work this month?</div>
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Leaving. Oh my goodness. Leaving somewhere you feel like you
own, have a huge passion for and want to see succeed is actually heartbreaking,
especially when you have thrown yourself into everything for as many days as I
was physically able to stand up for that long. I know I have so much more to
give to every aspect of that work: to be more skilled, the love more, to
relentlessly sacrifice, and I worry that I failed or wasted time. So leaving
with twinges of disappointment is hard. Even more than that, however, is
leaving the people who you have got to know in community, shared your life
with, helped out with benefits or grappled with life’s deepest questions.
Wrapping up those relationships, even potentially having to cut them off, is
quite painful and complicated.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzoW0AwvgxyMRWB7fA4kDF6cLLtZO39buZP9gG050DGhxhFvC5GLsKCBdfBex5k-rjrEyO9XGuVO8NyKGhnThU9lVWK_71ztJyMJCAM9t7Z05FXa66NGqw1B02BLaM1aeV3OtpCVsm3PZ_/s640/2014-07-09%25252003.14.42%2525201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzoW0AwvgxyMRWB7fA4kDF6cLLtZO39buZP9gG050DGhxhFvC5GLsKCBdfBex5k-rjrEyO9XGuVO8NyKGhnThU9lVWK_71ztJyMJCAM9t7Z05FXa66NGqw1B02BLaM1aeV3OtpCVsm3PZ_/s640/2014-07-09%25252003.14.42%2525201.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>In honour of Wimbledon I indulged in far too many of these homemade scones with clotted cream and I don't really feel too bad about it.</i></td></tr>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->5)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Would you kindly sum up your working month in
three alliterative words/phrases?</div>
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Tiring, tearful, triumphant!</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->6)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Weird habits developed this month?</div>
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Don't be ridiculous, I'm far too settled, independent and together emotionally to have these weird habits every month...</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->7)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->What are you missing most about home this month?</div>
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Honestly, I’ve been so swept up with leaving that I haven’t
been missing home, but dreading going back!</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBhzrIilU86BdAgePA0fDXbKrr5VO_sR2yIa4bxdF30ZSx6uqJeX-NhKIPmH0TOUProJbiKIONe9YMqe8BNRvKM4S_fgu7FLNfUszShny98gs32tEAPOInNsOYwGo3Wbd48Ps9k-wGgKE/s1600/DSC_1062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBhzrIilU86BdAgePA0fDXbKrr5VO_sR2yIa4bxdF30ZSx6uqJeX-NhKIPmH0TOUProJbiKIONe9YMqe8BNRvKM4S_fgu7FLNfUszShny98gs32tEAPOInNsOYwGo3Wbd48Ps9k-wGgKE/s1600/DSC_1062.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>From L-R: Me, Helen, Naomi, Anna, Mair, Emma and Ruth. A lovely bunch.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</span><!--[endif]-->Best Housemate moment?</div>
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To be quite fair, there have been far too many this month
because we have been trying to spend all our moments together! Before my
departure to Greece, which will be saved for a later blog post, my housemates
got together for our final evening. Unfortunately I had felt unwell during the
day due to the heat, but that didn’t stop us having an absolutely cracking
barbeque, gathering together in our garden in the sun and playing ‘rounders’
with the bread roll leftovers. It was a lovely moment to truly appreciate all
that these girls have done for me during the year providing much needed support
and friendship and a heck of a lot of laughter. The evening rounded off with a
trip to the Shard, but two of us didn’t feel up for it so stayed and chatted
for hours until they got back. It reminded me that during the whole year, the
best moments outside of work have been the simple ones in this house. We don’t
often have times when we are all together (as proven by the fact that we had
our last evening a week before I left and two weeks before they even finished!)
so when we do, they are truly special.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNoqj_kDcZ7XQCMhFxPNHBYdNKU9kmbft2gqe-j6Ms-4FTZxoCk5JAy5jXlOp394EShfnU-NdcyElRtMW0zd5wyNkMhhFis52e3ix26s84aAw_ARw-uzt6RqCjinS18-IyiSh__i3JZSh/s1600/DSC_1002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqNoqj_kDcZ7XQCMhFxPNHBYdNKU9kmbft2gqe-j6Ms-4FTZxoCk5JAy5jXlOp394EShfnU-NdcyElRtMW0zd5wyNkMhhFis52e3ix26s84aAw_ARw-uzt6RqCjinS18-IyiSh__i3JZSh/s1600/DSC_1002.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF7OAx3p-BNTnb483hw6QpYGeoh9FuQvrwWUO7l4IZs_ERSNo4OUa-jP4MUWcFlrw-ROJsIui_GDf8dm8u6sbu3DarguRy6kIi6aNogFpEVI6TXSciuFeX5rSl8D4RzL62emtq6Vkh5UVR/s1600/DSC_1039.JPG" height="428" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Pudding included melted marshmallow in Oreos or chocolate in banana on the barbeque. I was not a fan of the latter - who wants a mushy banana when it's not being made into banana bread?</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVUYp5PG8wAO67-yfn0bhjvPN9_7VtmB7OVM_wfiJwN7qKj1JvOIBiRgltIjhOMvClgk8hIYlkUIz80ySRLOkGP4fYcv-I8pzF9C4UkVj3JVWXxtReBL8c68bcXUlP3NzHPPK28UYWHpFd/s1600/DSC_1099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVUYp5PG8wAO67-yfn0bhjvPN9_7VtmB7OVM_wfiJwN7qKj1JvOIBiRgltIjhOMvClgk8hIYlkUIz80ySRLOkGP4fYcv-I8pzF9C4UkVj3JVWXxtReBL8c68bcXUlP3NzHPPK28UYWHpFd/s1600/DSC_1099.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My housemate Ruth preparing for the bread!</i></td></tr>
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<!--[if !supportLists]-->9)<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Discoveries this month?</div>
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How AMAZING wild rice salad is and in general how much I
love a good salad, especially if it includes pomegranate seeds
(sophistication?); Peach Iced Tea; the wonders of Bethel Music which have
uplifted me through some tough nights; my addiction to crunching ice; stretchy
baggy trousers (a true game changer in this heat); how much I really am like
Miranda Hart’s caricature of herself; the joy of reading books for pleasure; my
love of mountains; the glories of a really good burger. </div>
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It's been a rather emotional time. More blog posts with my final snaps of London and reflections to follow up. I have a whole bank of ramblings still to shove on this space of the Internet.</div>
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So long for now,</div>
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-Antonia</div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 115%;">One
thing that I truly have regretted about this year is my lack of appreciation
for the location in which I am living in this year. There are so many crevasses
of London to explore and I’ve felt too tired or moody to explore them. Even in
these beautiful evenings that have been falling across our skyline I’ve felt
chained to the sofa with a book or a film. Last week, on the return from a
stressful end to a day where I worked overtime with little breaks, I decided
that a walk was what I needed and I took my camera along and turned it into a
little exploration project of lots of places that were just fifteen minutes
away from where I have been living.</span></div>
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In London, I have seen a lot of ugliness against the
beautiful skylines, the engulfing transcendence of the River Thames, the
fantastical mist, the movement and buzz of a tube or DLR or from the roof of a
bus. I’ve seen broken people, broken youth, broken systems, broken emotions. I’ve
seen modern-day poverty and my views and thoughts have been shaped and
challenged. I have multiple times felt disgusted at these two opposing sides of
London, conflicted in the way I deal with them and because of my heart for
these people who are marginalised socially through communities or through class
I have avoided what you might call ‘mainstream London’. This includes the
museums where thousands of people come to visit artwork and artefacts worth
hundreds or thousands or millions of pounds because when I go there. Why?
Because I see this work and think of a lady who is driven to suicidal thoughts
because in her disability she is rendered helpless and wonder if the money that
someone will eventually buy this work for could be better invested in people,
giving them a sense of hope or community that could contribute more to society.
When I pay out to see theatre I think of people who can barely afford a TV licence.
We berate them because all they seem to do is watch TV, but when you scratch
the surface it is their loneliness which we cannot fix. That theatre ticket is
their TV licence for 3-6 weeks, or their electric for 2 weeks. I am paying for
an experience, they are paying for something that allows them to make food of
taste and flavour which I never have to considered would not be available to me.
When I buy a coffee, I see that £2-3 buying them a pint of milk, some butter,
some bread, some basic tins. Worse, when I go out for a meal I see their weekly
shop go down the drain in one meal and a glass of lemonade.</div>
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However, the way I have dealt with this is to shut myself
off and play the pauper. I’ve been spending as frugally as if I were in their
situation, shutting myself away from the culture because it makes me feel
guilty that I can enjoy it and through this have started to trick myself into
believing that I’m not some middle-class white girl from the suburbs. I try and
make myself this hard, urban worker, scrimping and scraping when really, I am
privileged. I do have the free time and the travelcard to immerse myself in
London culture. I saved up all of last summer so I could enjoy all these
opportunities in London, to see the beauty of it and take advantage of this
opportunity. Guilt of where I came from, of my privilege, made me a recluse and
judgemental of others. I don’t want to see London only with rose-tinted
spectacles, but I don’t want to define the way I see London merely by the bad I
see either.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
As I took a walk around my local area, taking pictures of
roses from the rose garden against the tower blocks in the background, seeing
the Shard from behind trees, I had all these reflections and realised that God
has always given us hope, beauty, reminders of his grace. I had been choosing
not to see them. As I walked, talked to my housemate, and the sun set, I
photographed the architecture, the cute little shop down the road, explored and
found an abandoned pub, a restaurant, a coffee shop. I stepped into the warm
air and saw missed opportunities because of my unnecessary frugality and
self-imposed misery. I only have a few weeks left – and that is moving swiftly on.
I’ve seen and recognised the broken pieces of London. I now intend to find the
blessings, the grace, the community, the hope, the friendship-building,
relationship-deepening meals and coffees, the galleries which increase my
appreciation for creativity and variety and culture and history (stuff which God has blessed us with!). I want to
squeeze out my time and make it worthwhile, all while still sharing my hearts
with the broken as my day ‘job’ and serving a cracking flat white.<br />
<br />
-Antonia</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-77307943864066453232014-06-23T19:00:00.000+01:002014-06-23T19:10:27.735+01:00The Dark Summer (That Changed My Life)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Ah, Summer. The time of year where to-do lists really get their time to shine as everyone promises themselves that they will have a barbeque, kiss in the rain, make lots of craft, hold down a job, stay out all night, meet new people, explore a forest...<br />
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It's also the time of year when endless blog posts come up about this, with people posting goals (whether it be for a bikini body, achievements or simply things they would like to do). Often, because of this, summer is treated as this golden period of opportunity where life is at its fullest, especially while you are still at school and the adrenaline of freedom kicks in. There are endless questions on how you will be spending summer and the thought of merely sitting at home is berated.<br />
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My experiences of summer have been varied but I can say that the best summers haven't been the ones where I have been on lots of holidays or explored the world around me, but the ones where I have grown, changed, matured and tried not only new things, but challenging things. The most memorable summer is the summer of 2009, the summer where I had no friends to hang out with other than my sister.<br />
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I had made a wrong move, lost all my friends and was living in guilt and shame. I wanted school to end badly but found myself even more isolated trapped inside my house. My only outings were with my sister to Shakeaway (I calculated that I spent around £40 on Shakeaway in the space of a few weeks that summer) where we would sing walking along the road and wear matching harem trousers. I watched a copious amount of TV but felt a real emptiness in my life. Yet I was moved. I was forced to confront the mistakes I had made which caused this dramatic cut off from community. Until that point, there was always someone to point the finger towards, someone who provoked what I had done. In a summer of loneliness I saw that I had been hiding behind that and exposed a lot of lies that I was believing about myself, others and the world around me. I had been believing that violence and anger were excusable reactions if provoked, that my insecurity absconded me from punishment, that paranoia was damaging my friendships and how I saw the world around me, that my heart and all its desires were set on all the wrong things. I was moved, I believe by God, to a state where I realised that I needed to be forgiven, and that I didn't need to work for it. I longed for my friends to show forgiveness to me as well as the forgiveness I believe that I already have received through faith. But then my thoughts progressed: I longed to have the strength and courage to forgive the friends who had given up on me, provoked me, made me feel insecure and paranoid and anxious, had failed to support me through my counselling and therapy and who I didn't trust enough to tell them how I was feeling. I longed to repair relationships, to regain confidence in my abilities and release anxieties that were weighing me down.<br />
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I found that at the foot of a cross and it changed me. Never before had pain brought me such joy. It is a dark summer that ended in light.<br />
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I remember the first day at school when we got our timetables and the girl who I had directed my violence at the June before was in around two thirds of my classes. I braced myself for a hard year of proving myself and trying really hard to change but there was something else working which released me from that responsibility. A few nights later, a facebook friend request that had earlier been denied set my heart on fire. Forgiveness was mine. Friendship was restored. Faith became real and exciting.<br />
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I was baptised the next January and a journey began that took me to other summers on beaches in Wales that stirred up a heart in me to take 'good news' to London, to walk over Tower Bridge everyday to embark on a journey to the East side to serve lattes and engage with community. Five years after the dark summer, my life is changed and renewed and my faith is as real and exciting as ever.<br />
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Maybe your summer is shaping up well, maybe it is looking miserable. Don't romanticise summer as if it is a magical period of contentment and happiness - it surely won't live up to it and be filled with more boredom that BBQ's I'm sure. Summer is a chance, if you have the time or invest in the time, to search your soul and find what is wanting. It might be a qualification, an experience of volunteering, a friendship that has been slack, it might be rest. It might be discovering what true hope and life is once all the routine and rhythms have been removed. I hope that you will find it where I did.<br />
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-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-50157523420789838772014-06-20T08:00:00.000+01:002014-06-20T23:10:27.172+01:00Instagram Collective Vol.2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It's been a good two months since my last Instagram update. I have to admit, I've been cheating on my Instagram a bit recently by using photographs from my big girl camera and editing them, but these are all photos which my good old HTC One has taken. A recurring theme, most of them revolve around Tower Bridge because I'm there every day and I do see some spectacular sunsets that are too good not to 'gram.<br />
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The quality of some of these are extremely variable and that's one thing that I really dislike about Instagram: using their editing software seems to completely bodge the quality. You can definitely tell which ones I have used vscocam for (yep, I've become an Instahipster, help me), especially that moody latte art shot.<br />
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At the top in the centre is a rare breed of photo from my Instagram - something other than sunsets, architecture or a latte art moment of pride, but something which points you forward to another upcoming scrapbooking blog post. These were not cheap to print but came out in a beautiful matte finish and the perfect size to make into pages, write around and add a little something extra to my scrapbook, otherwise all the cherished snaps on my phone would never leave the abyss of the internet.<br />
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You can follow me on Instagram if you would like - <a href="http://instagram.com/mosaicofantonia" target="_blank">@mosaicofantonia</a>. Give me some links to follow you! My favourite kind of Instagrams are those which don't just indulge in poorly lit selfies and endless hashtags of every single word that you want in your caption. There is a girl in Australia who I follow who does the most charming shots of coffee and of her in floral crowns and I feel like she is living a fairytale through her Instagram. I've journeyed through her Instagram for over a year and honestly would quite like to be a penpal of hers. Her name is @athenagracee and I thought that she probably deserved a little plug as she has pretty much inspired the way I used Instagram.<br />
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Who inspires how you take photos and capture your life via Instagram?<br />
<br />
-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-72713158907093604912014-06-13T18:48:00.000+01:002014-06-13T18:48:48.782+01:00Nine month review // May - JuneIt’s getting to the point where each month blurs into the other: the rhythm of life has become so smooth and slick that I barely notice as time passes away and I head further and further towards my leaving date. I can’t remember what was in this month and last month and frankly my emotions have been so high and low over the past few weeks that it feels like a month in itself! I want to apologise for having not blogged a little more but frankly I’ve been horrendous at updating all my social medias over the last month (Instagram in particular suffered a sad neglect as suddenly my photo-taking suffered an unprecedented drop), and it’s just a little fun for me and so I shouldn’t feel pressured or guilty for not doing so. This month has been a very reflective one as I look towards the end and towards new beginnings once again, and how all the pieces of my life at the moment might carry through to my life at University once it begins in September. My world will temporarily return to what I have known when I move back with my parents for all of seven weeks and then I will return to education in this weird place up North where there are no sirens before bed and people of my own age everywhere and books to read and no tube sweat. I’ve got a whole new environment to adapt to ahead and looking back on these reviews is reminding me on how far I’ve come this year, how much I’ve learnt and how capable I am to do so.<br />
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There is a distinct lack of pictures this month due to business and general laziness. This makes me sad because I love photography and have lost my groove with it this month. So, somehow, words will have to made do, especially since the photos I did take aren't too high quality and seem to be butchered as soon as they make it online, no matter how I edit them.<br />
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<b><i>1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?</i></b><br />
Every month I make a mental note about the answer to this and by the time I come to blog, completely forget it. The problem is, I think, that in London you see so many strange happenings that they pass you by. On an inspiring note, I saw a huge group of people cycling for Help the Heroes last Sunday over Tower Bridge.<br />
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<i><b>2) Particular highlights of this month?</b></i><br />
By far I think a highlight has been doing a trip to see a few friends at different Universities and getting out of London for a while at a time where I was feeling a little under pressure and really missing familiar faces. I didn’t get to catch up with some of them as I would have liked over their Easter break because of timing so it was great to spend 24 hours with a few people watching films, exploring their campus’ and generally having a natter. I went to the cutest cafe that was Alice in Wonderland themes and ate Walnut cake (one of my faves), ate very nice but largely unhealthy food, drank tea, went to the most hipster Costa coffee I have seen and stayed up later than I have all year. I was tired and exhausted by the time I returned to London but simply taking a glimpse into my friends lives was so worth it. It made me wish that I had made the time to do it sooner and more frequently over the year. It was a three day escapade that made me excited for more times with my school friends over summer.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This concoction was made by my friend when I stayed with her in halls. It has salmon on it. Student life is not what I thought it would be. </td></tr>
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I have also been enjoying the sunshine this month, especially at breakfast time when I can explore our small, overgrown garden and on Sundays where I always have the afternoons free to sit in the local churchyard and hang out with my housemates or read, all crammed on one blanket. I’m not too good with the heat so I don’t last long and eventually retreat to the cool air of my bedroom but getting out of those four walls during the more rainy periods of May has been lovely. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption">The flowers and reflections found in our small garden - someone's been secretly hard at work!</td></tr>
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I also went to the British Museum last Saturday with a friend which was fascinating. I haven’t been to the British Museum for a good year and a half and that was for a special Shakespeare exhibition so going there to see the more permanent exhibits was very worthwhile. We barely made a dent on the museum and were there until we felt our legs were going to drop off so it is worth a return.
I also spent a Saturday with my mum this month, trundling along Oxford Street in the search of some clothes suitable for this hot weather. I don’t necessarily miss living at home but I do miss seeing my family more regularly and love the fact that I am only a short train ride away if they wanted to see me. It’s going to be hard when I move a four hour train journey away in September and won’t see them for over two months.
In terms of mid-week treats, seeing Maleficent was definitely a good choice, and free because my housemate kindly paid with her Odeon loyalty points. I am very picky about films that I see and this definitely exceeded my expectations, the graphics and cinematography were beautiful and Angelina Jolie had so much poise.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I often find the ceilings of museums more fascinating that the artefacts inside them. The majority of my photos from the British museum confirm this.</td></tr>
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<b><i>3) Favourite part of your work this month?</i></b><br />
The introduction of iced latte and Iced tea has been a welcome one, and I am, frankly, a little bit obsessed. I have been relishing all things cafe culture this month as I seek work in a coffee shop and I think that I identify as a coffee snob now.<br />
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<b><i>4) Least favourite part of your work this month?</i></b><br />
My routine has been interrupted somewhat with new arrivals and volunteers and I suppose that this late on in my year, I am not coping well with change, especially if I feel like my roles are being taken away from me that I really enjoy or was looking forward to be a part of. I have limited time left and I want to squeeze all the goodness out of it possible!<br />
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<b><i>5) Hardest part of your work this month?</i></b><br />
One thing I have learned about myself this month is that I pile unnecessary pressure on myself which is unhealthy and drives me into anxiety and worry over things that don’t exist (like this blog readership). In short, I exhausted myself by inactivity because in my quiet moments my worries drove me to nothing, and then I felt guilty, and then I was stuck. It all stems from a mindset that I have as a woman of ambition who constantly strives to be more in all things but finds herself helplessly falling short of it and being sent into despair, losing my core identity and all motivation. I found myself feeling tired and grumpy doing a job I loved and then feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing my job well because I was tired and grumpy with all my worries about nothing and non-existent pressure. It’s been a tough ride, but I have finally rested myself. Just about. Maybe.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqL6v-h742CpfdDmGurYy1fxS3hxB94CUKRub9szgSlr1wNVFq4XwyxYX2YJiS4VpRbJts23TlYMhd2KUgr9MgnuwR0CbzOQs4_9Hk4tzXenkgP6YMvaIGBGlsmfuoFf7H3Oq6_XjT5Vv/s1600/Blog11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSqL6v-h742CpfdDmGurYy1fxS3hxB94CUKRub9szgSlr1wNVFq4XwyxYX2YJiS4VpRbJts23TlYMhd2KUgr9MgnuwR0CbzOQs4_9Hk4tzXenkgP6YMvaIGBGlsmfuoFf7H3Oq6_XjT5Vv/s1600/Blog11.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... and this pear and walnut cake certainly helped to lift my mood at the end of the day!</td></tr>
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<i><b>6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?</b></i><br />
Inspiring, Innovating, Iced!
The first two words refer to a lot of exciting changes which I believe will take everything forward, inspiring new people joining the team and all the envisioning going on among my personal team. It’s just a shame I won’t be there to drink it all in as it happens.<br />
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<b><i>7) Weird habits developed this month?</i></b><br />
This month hasn’t been too weird and I haven’t had many fads. I suppose my biggest habit this month has been obsessively watching Nashville and rewatching Heroes. I am glad this is coming to an end so that I can finish those books I never finished last month and those which I have started reading this month. I have also fallen back into my summer habit of eating ice cubes, which is especially hard at work when we have an ice cube maker staring at me all day and all I want to do is fill a bowl with ice and crunch it. Yep.<br />
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<b><i>8) What are you missing most about home this month?</i></b><br />
I feel like this answer is a culminating of all the answers that I have put all year: my friends, my family, and the silence and privacy of being able to step outside and go for a walk without there being people everywhere you go. I have grown to be intolerant of tourists even though I still feel like one. And, more superficially, I miss the income my paper round used to bring in and feeling like I had my own money to spend on things other than food and travel. One of the most irritating things about this year has been having the whole of London to explore yet not having the money to do it: every day out means lunch has to be accounted for or you end up hauling round food and drink on the tube. I’ve been keen to go to the Tower of London all year but it takes a huge chunk out of my money right now. Even if I do find things that I want to do, I miss having all the friends to do it with who will enjoy it just as much and make spending the money worth it. No one in my house is into art and so I go to galleries alone which can be a pretty isolating experience on a Saturday.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7nAH39fooP-r9pvfMloIjm366LvQJzd0X3-AcAZNAWesaL8-I1nYIitxUaB2tbYU0pfNgZbwMTmFfM-2BkJa1V9aueq7TJFo5b09eakmXygsUjZ4CxWBfOFamg1BxqzC04LctyycfE_q/s1600/Blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7nAH39fooP-r9pvfMloIjm366LvQJzd0X3-AcAZNAWesaL8-I1nYIitxUaB2tbYU0pfNgZbwMTmFfM-2BkJa1V9aueq7TJFo5b09eakmXygsUjZ4CxWBfOFamg1BxqzC04LctyycfE_q/s1600/Blog3.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even though London might be expensive, sunsets and architecture are free. Winning combination! Taken at a bus stop in Aldgate.</td></tr>
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<b><i>9) Best Housemate moment?</i></b><br />
Celebrating one of my housemate’s birthdays with a curry and company. We spent the evening playing stupid games in our living room and having one of the funniest evenings in a while. Just taking that time for around ten of us to sit round a table is rare and special. Like I said last month, I am appreciating all the time we are spending just chilling out together in the evenings having a chat or watching a film, eating dinner together. As much as I enjoy our little outings (and we have a great one planned for a few weeks’ time) those times are the times which make the difference to your week and mood and I am grateful for them. I am anticipating many more evenings together as world cup season approaches!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSo6nnbhBUKcpbCXaeffrWfRBD1olHVJJ5X_Xvjjj1mV256hmxYUtfP9RbSee-m5I3a34fKrCLuOcbyij8Ox7esgcrEHJ-NUh-xklettNtFv9q5iaFr9yVuvf6slyZ1VeGhfQGZRmgNx1u/s1600/Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSo6nnbhBUKcpbCXaeffrWfRBD1olHVJJ5X_Xvjjj1mV256hmxYUtfP9RbSee-m5I3a34fKrCLuOcbyij8Ox7esgcrEHJ-NUh-xklettNtFv9q5iaFr9yVuvf6slyZ1VeGhfQGZRmgNx1u/s1600/Blog2.jpg" height="638" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The best rosetta I have made all year!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><i>10) Discoveries this month?</i></b><br />
Using the depop app to find cheap, second hand clothing (I bought a beautiful bag for £6 - can't go too wrong!); how GOOD the avocado and green bean salad is in Nandos; the aforementioned British Museum; vscocam editing app; Iced lattes; one-pot cous cous; <a href="https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/FUTERAL?ref=l2-shopheader-name" target="_blank">this beautiful etsy shop</a> where I recently bought a new laptop bag in preparation for University.<br />
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Hope this has helped you to reflect on all the little and big things in your months, too. It is certainly helping me to remember things that so easily would have passed me by this year.<br />
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-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-83133376619067948552014-05-13T10:06:00.000+01:002014-06-12T19:12:08.058+01:00Eight Month Review // April - May<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Although this hasn't been a ‘proper’ month of work as I have
had my Easter time off, I have so little time left of my adventures in London
that it feels extra important to document as much as I can of it before I
forget. I have realised that no matter how hard I tried to remember everyone
who I meet who was in need, or how I really felt when I first moved, or every
funny moment that happened in London, the pace of life has chucked most of it
out. Maybe our brain holds onto more than we search for which is why we need so
many reminders: our past writings, our social media, our pictures and videos. And
this is another! Even in my journal I do not comprehensibly write out parts of
my life or things I have been doing so looking back on these allows me to see
how much I’ve grown and remember all the amazing things that I have done this
year, all the moments of friendship shared with old friends and new, all the
moments of hardship that I have overcome or have been seasons which I have come
out of the other side stronger for. I have reached the point where I have
realised that this life I live now and am starting to thrive off will come to
an end and it will be all change once more in October. More awkward beginnings
to new friendships, settling back into a life where all my food is cooked for
me (at least for my first year), moving to a new place (goodness gracious, the </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">far</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> north!) and actually having little
routine compared to now. But since I still have three of these to go, I’d
better stop thinking about the end and reminisce on the last month!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">1) Weirdest thing you have seen in London this month?</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">I was walking home and saw a group of men all
wearing those hats that hold two beers on either side. It made me chuckle
because at first I thought that they looked like they were wearing Santa
outfits in May and then because I thought that the contraption on their head
made it look like they had antlers. I suppose one of the weirdest things also
has to be the fact that one day my housemates and I all strolled down a busy
main road with pans of soup, bowls of food and plates to the local park to eat
dinner, just because we fancied it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><b style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i>2) Particular highlights of this month?</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">I was off work for one week, which was a highlight in some respects: it allowed me to meet up for coffee with two of my closest friends and catch up with them. I miss both of them so much and it is so much harder to keep in contact with even your close friends when life is so busy and I am so lazy. Two of my friends from school also had a joint birthday picnic on my first Saturday back which was lovely but short-lived. Everyone brought food, and there was certainly an excess of strawberries which I took full advantage of, especially since they were chocolate covered. Annoyingly, I had just come back from a work trip to a conference two days before and had had a busy day on Good Friday (which was the day before) and was almost too shattered to really make the most of the fact that all of my friends were in one place as used to be so often the case. I just felt a bit overwhelmed and for this reason was part of a small party that went home early. Nevertheless, it was amazing to see that everyone was well, that everyone was enjoying the new stages in their lives and that in many ways old friendships were still going strong.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">In my week off I also enjoyed the novelty of resting! I managed to read quite a few books that I had half-started before, but also less productively watched a whole season of New Girl. By the end of the week I was itching to get back to work because I felt so lazy. Since returning to London town I have enjoyed my first trip to Five Guys for my housemates birthday and made more than good use of their coca-cola machine as we concocted different flavours and tried to guess what was in the cup. Their chip portions are amazing (you don’t need any bigger than a regular) and you get free peanuts, too: I was sold. After this I returned to Trafalgar Square and we climbed Nelson’s column (as far as one can) and jumped onto the lions which guard it. It was a time full of ridiculous selfies and an evening well spent. I also spent the majority of the bank holiday weekend with my housemates. We went to the Southbank in the hope of free food from the excess amount of food stalls but ended up being crushed and faced with monstrous queues. Though our plan didn’t exactly work out we took the time to walk and talk as we walked along the river in the sunshine before heading off to go to One New Change at St Pauls: I had been there before but only in the dark and have to say that it is much better in the day as you aren’t greeted with a polluted skyline but a clear view of London for free! We then attempted to get some reduced fruit at Borough Market on our way home but failed. It was lovely just to take time in London walking around, appreciating the sunshine and drinking in our surroundings: too often people feel preoccupied in doing things that you don’t actually talk to who you are with or take notice of where you are.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">This last weekend has been a favourite, as I met up
with some friends from school who I hadn’t spoken to in ages. We sat in Camden
Coffee House’s little garden round the back until it chucked it down with rain,
and then in the downstairs of the coffee shop itself for hours before moving
round to explore Camden. The rain scuppered our plans to go to Regent’s park
and to enjoy the stalls properly (as did our lack of funds) so we dived into a
Chinese restaurant where you sat on a cushion on the floor and then dangled
your legs down into a hole in the floor where the table legs were. It was
highly weird and when the waiters came over to take your order, you suddenly
felt very small! We then got trapped in the rain (again) and decided to call
out outside ramblings a day and headed off to Patisserie Valerie to eat cake
and grab another coffee. This lasted another three and a half hours and it was
honestly a really precious and rare time for me that I really treasure as I go
into my week. It is a shame that these days are so occasional but it means that
I appreciate these old friends even more and can celebrate in how their lives
are evolving, changing and how they are growing as people. I didn’t get any
pictures of this even though I dragged my camera around all day simply because
I was enjoying their company so much. Times like that are worth not piercing with
the glare of a camera lens and a pressure to smile.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">3) Favourite part of
your work this month?</span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">Ah, it’s good to be back. I read a
book called “Every Good Endeavour” by Tim Keller over my break and it
revolutionised the way I approached the less-favourable tasks in my work such
as the Monday morning cleaning, packing away deliveries etc. which can all be
far too physical for a Monday morning! We also had loads of time to get out
into the community and connect with lots of different people that we hadn’t
seen for two weeks with us being away and having no time in the week before
that. It’s a part of my work which I really value and sometimes if things are too
busy in the running of the cafe we really have a limited time. I also got
myself back into making coffees (how I missed getting it for free – I’m not
paying £3 for that, thank you!) and perfecting my latte art. I have also been
taking walks home for the last few weeks which has been a nice refreshing end
to each day, especially since I have taken the opportunity to explore the
posher side to where I work which is closer to the Thames and has all this
amazing architecture to it, as well as cobbled streets (I do love a cobbled
street). It’s a lot nicer than walking along the cycle highway!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-TcyYOzP1qkSxSFhAoWkRb3lhi8ATPYtMUJc0FA_YLqs0h1nYPSMFSKBy3xehNzc44xZo_JeLt1V9wJJvZbIOtkFqnjfOmJKqn2yyWK6LkzrZ5BgGKK6mJhkfNPVtZIBQ2zscjSta5WOw/s1600/IMG_20140506_140715.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-TcyYOzP1qkSxSFhAoWkRb3lhi8ATPYtMUJc0FA_YLqs0h1nYPSMFSKBy3xehNzc44xZo_JeLt1V9wJJvZbIOtkFqnjfOmJKqn2yyWK6LkzrZ5BgGKK6mJhkfNPVtZIBQ2zscjSta5WOw/s1600/IMG_20140506_140715.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This month has also been a more successful month for my latte art. I don't get as much time to practise as I would like so was stunned when I absent mindedly created this for myself one lunchtime!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRx-lafDdVDF5EGDfYnd6DGIKeXDzsIBHIT7plhzgEomBA1AaT0C3HHpMMsqFtTeOyVQS8cl_8k4gCk9tHbrSbaB7k_5wpj5KDzcmGigeW2DEClKODvzOZxpwIyPJZdFbIl_CGxeIngCt/s1600/IMG_20140409_115948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRx-lafDdVDF5EGDfYnd6DGIKeXDzsIBHIT7plhzgEomBA1AaT0C3HHpMMsqFtTeOyVQS8cl_8k4gCk9tHbrSbaB7k_5wpj5KDzcmGigeW2DEClKODvzOZxpwIyPJZdFbIl_CGxeIngCt/s1600/IMG_20140409_115948.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Perks of working at a cafe: free Apple & Cinnamon cake. It is our fastest selling cake and freshly made and one of the only things the staff will willingly pay out for.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i>4) Least favourite part of your work this month?</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span>
<br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">Part of my work involved going to
lectures and I suppose that I only realised that the amount of work is getting
bigger and bigger a few days ago. We have lots of reading to do each week,
coursework due and an exam to prepare for in June while we are still doing all
the learning for it. It has the potential to be stressful if I don’t get on top
of things soon and fitting it all around a 9-5 job which can be quite
physically and emotionally draining doesn’t exactly motivate me when I could be
in the lounge having a laugh with my housemates or watching a film together.</span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">5) Hardest part of
your work this month?</span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">I think from now on it will be the
lack of free time in the evenings and possibly weekends: especially when we are
getting some glorious sunshine now! Also I think carrying some people’s
emotional turmoil can be hard. We don’t just treat those we visit as clients who
we need to find jobs for or help out on a surface level: we come alongside them
as friends and get personal. It is a risk that we take so that we can share our
lives with them and the most important thing in our lives: our faith in Christ.
We are still struggling along with this lady who we have done so much for and
who sometimes stubbornly doesn’t listen to our advice because she wants to go
her own way – a way which we see doesn’t lead to the security which she
desperately needs when her benefits inevitably run dry.</span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i>6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative
words/phrases?</i></b></div>
</span><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">Chuckles, chaos, chipper. Do love me some British slang. Do love me some words beginning with the sound 'ch'!</span></div>
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSEj6IcFKM-3Q7dkZ0bhSo5tukKADKrMMP89BeAbMcAGl583J4Ou_tKEdBcJY7l7p6ZprTA0ze44amO9zEw34meBxDXXa3QpF2US_eC3lHjDlN8W0QxYAKOf8wFxxUN0udZfoVeu5XgjlF/s1600/IMAG2765.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSEj6IcFKM-3Q7dkZ0bhSo5tukKADKrMMP89BeAbMcAGl583J4Ou_tKEdBcJY7l7p6ZprTA0ze44amO9zEw34meBxDXXa3QpF2US_eC3lHjDlN8W0QxYAKOf8wFxxUN0udZfoVeu5XgjlF/s1600/IMAG2765.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i>7) Weird habits developed this month?</i></b></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Starting to read too many books and then, after about a week, neglecting them. I managed to finish two of them but then just starting three more within days of one another and now I find it hard to chose which one to read in the evening. I don't know why this has happened but I do know that now I don't feel like I can favour one book or another, so they will have to go on a rotation and I will have to finish them all at the same time.</span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">8) What are you
missing the most about home this month?</span></i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">My sister! Her texts telling me of how she wants
to squish Prince George are hilarious and I found the birthday card she gave me
last year which had such witty comments inside and it made my day. I’ve had a
bit of time to hang out with her but always among other family. It also makes
me sad that she has just started her GCSE’s and I can’t be there for her in
person, because I remember how stressed I was and how much I relied on the
support of my family and even her, though she knew little of how I felt. I
guess I’m now also missing my friends now I’ve ‘tasted and seen’ them (sounds
weird, doesn’t it?) and the people that I was especially closest to.</span></div>
</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTqDpLQ1sfvrd8pnDlINwYEqe0EdeneL4gA3ga1a93wdC6v1Ot0PPRNuiopYHh6BPYqdwmtCv_guyLgfwoTxZqTPxrKz650CIkaox1LNzP6fCR5kUJ7Siw6wlIcRbXfrQnSexMzhyL_PIf/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTqDpLQ1sfvrd8pnDlINwYEqe0EdeneL4gA3ga1a93wdC6v1Ot0PPRNuiopYHh6BPYqdwmtCv_guyLgfwoTxZqTPxrKz650CIkaox1LNzP6fCR5kUJ7Siw6wlIcRbXfrQnSexMzhyL_PIf/s1600/Untitled-1.jpg" height="627" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><b style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><b style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><i>9) Best housemate moment?</i></b></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;">I feel like hanging out with my housemates that bit more this month has really lifted my mood – and not even going out with them but just those conversations on the sofa in the evening, reading our Bibles together in Potter’s Field (right by the River) and joking about funny town names or names of people in Biblical times, cooking together, eating breakfast together. It is the little things that make a big difference. I feel especially closer to another housemate than I have before this month and that is always lurvely. We also had our last house birthday yesterday and we had such a lovely evening eating, chatting, laughing in a very undignified manner (snorting and table slapping involved) and generally messing about. Many of us didn’t see one another for 3 weeks so it was good to have another big get together other than the Five Guys trip to just enjoy one another’s company.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><b style="color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt;"></b>
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<b style="color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt;"><b style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></b></b></div>
<b style="color: #2198a6; font-size: 11.5pt;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">10) Discoveries this month?</span></i></b></div>
</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11.5pt;">I finally bought the Of Monsters
and Men album (it was £2!) and it is excellent and perfectly smooth and
uplifting for walking home as the sun sets. Gosh, my life is a cliché at the moment!
Also discovered are: agirlcalledjack.com (amazing cheap recipes, all costed out
– how did I cook on budget before?); Five Guys; my lack of ability to read one
book at a time (currently reading 3); soya milk; Camden Coffee house; Camden
Market; the wonders of soundcloud.</span></div>
</span><br />
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<iframe width="100%" height="450" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/146036514&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true"></iframe>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">... and on the note of Soundcloud, here is a song I have been loving. I have generally been loving listening to instrumentals since working at a cafe full of artist hipsters who play the most amazing remixes. This one I found all by myself and contains few lyrics but it just makes me feel hugely chilled out, like I want to pull up a deckchair and sit in the sun. Alas!</span></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">How has your month been? Hope you've had some amazing moments of friendship, too.</span></div>
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-Antonia</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: '', serif, '', serif; font-size: 11.5pt;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-50600642182354389882014-05-03T23:03:00.001+01:002014-05-04T21:57:54.536+01:00Looking UpSpending my evening flitting between Youtube and my Facebook, I stumbled across a video shared by a friend that I thought relayed an important message for a generation where technology becomes a replacement for face-to-face interaction. This video, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY" target="_blank">Look up</a>", has over 700,000 views on YouTube and a very interesting discussion going on in the comment section about the pros and cons of social media and the new world of technology that we are engrossed in.<br />
<br />
Firstly, I have to give a huge applause to how the creator of this outstanding video communicated his ideas, using a moment where a human interaction lead to a whole life with a stranger imagined out but one which could have been easily snatched away by our reliance on technology. Of course, it is dramatised and we sit there and feel that it is highly unlikely that we would miss out on such a huge part of life simply by looking up directions on Google maps rather than asking a stranger, but I feel like it emphasises many of his other points. I remember a life where children weren't just plonked in front of a TV as their source of entertainment, and I regularly lament the fact that I don't go out and just explore the world as I used to as a child, with a love of the outdoors, for playgrounds and for imagination. I hugely dislike the fact that iPads in particular are being bought for children's use rather than them building a fort, picking up some drawing pencils, or creating their own games with friends which leads to crucial development. In my own adult life, I have turned to scrapbooking to escape my default actions to check my various social medias or to watch TV that I don't even enjoy simply because I haven't thought imaginatively of anything else to do.<br />
<br />
I have experienced times where I have sat down with a friend for coffee and the conversation quickly turns to things that we saw on Twitter or Facebook rather than actually discussing things in our hearts. Worse, I have sat down with friends only for them to check those apps rather than speak to the person sitting in front of them, with the only involvement on my part being listening to things that they are reading from their feeds. The title, "Look up", is apt for this situation, and something that I often want to scream at people this happens because I feel dehumanised, replaced by a communication facade.<br />
<br />
He also makes the point that social media is where we "show our best bits, but not our emotion", and in many ways I wholeheartedly agree. There are the odd few that are almost that bit too honest over the internet, but largely we paint pictures of ourselves that we want others to see whether we are aware of it or not. We become a person without much of a personality. Too many times I have been obsessed with recording a moment to share rather than simply experiencing it and enjoying the company of those around me, whether that be in the form of an Instagram, a tweet or a Snapchat story. I also agree that social media creates a feeling of loneliness: how many people sit on Facebook for hours, with many people online chatting, just not to them? Even then, the chats are full of distractions from the six other tabs open in your computer as you shop for a new pair of shoes, look up a holiday, scroll through twitter or a news website (or even write this blog...). You are rarely given full attention and with delayed replies and the inability to read someone's face or tone of voice miscommunication is frequent and conversations can trail off with no official ending.<br />
<br />
However, I also see the benefits of it. Twice I have done a 48 hour blackout from technology: my social media, my phone, my laptop. I also didn't speak for those 48 hours, so this 21st century fast was probably one of those most isolated I have ever felt because I had very few ways to communicate, and in that time I longed for just one conversation over text which could quell that loneliness. I have seen the rise of vlogging and the amount of people who find community in comments sections of blogs and weird corners of the internet. I just wonder if this community comes at the expense of friendship which involves eye contact and real 'lol' moments rather than the constant sound of typing on a keyboard and emoticons replacing any form of body language.<br />
<br />
Something that I know I need to do is to communicate more, especially at a time where all the friends I have had for years are scattered across the country: this just made me realise the value in doing it face-to-face, to look up and make time and not use technology as an excuse to be lazy with the friendships that I have.<br />
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What are your thoughts?<br />
<br />
-Antonia<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-71306559343462490222014-04-26T23:00:00.000+01:002014-04-26T23:00:01.737+01:00Collecting memoriesThe most popular blogpost that I have done since September is by far the one showing you the results of my Summer Scrapbook, and so as I started to collect all my memories from my time in London (this blog included), I decided that it would be a fun project to document that process. I wanted this scrapbook to have a different feel to the one about summer. I feel like that scrapbook, with all it's girlyness and pastels was almost an ode to the bliss of summer which isn't really a reality. It is full of exciting trips and events and picnics but nothing about the grind of life. It was also my last summer after school and I had no idea what I was getting myself into this year or how I would mature so much, so fast. This scrapbook about my time in London intends to be slightly more documentary, a little darker in tone generally, and less frilly altogether to leave that teenager firmly behind me.<br />
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It took a lot of time to discover what kind of scrapbook I wanted. I looked on A Beautiful Mess and coveted their eco-scrapbooks, chipboard and all the rest. I used many blogs and scoured bloglovin' for people who had shared their scrapbooks for inspiration and tips on how to start. I went to an exhibition at the ICA in London which had a room with a few artists' scrapbooks in, too. For some reason, it was harder the second time around! However, it was worth it, and I have to say that this scrapbook is a lot more planned that before. One thing I didn't need to learn, however, was to hoarde the most random things. For years, I have kept all sorts of cards and letters and eventually had little use for them: this year was different! All those cards wishing me well? They have the most wonderful messages which are being pasted in next to images of London that I took in the first few months, or they will be pinned to a surface by a paperclip so that I can still keep each page looking neat and balanced. Even birthday cards from October that contained the blandest of well-wishes were useful. Some had coloured pages or prints that I could use as a mount to frame some of my photographs, some simply had amazing cover designs which I could cut up or just use as cute quotes to sit alongside some of my favourite pictures.<br />
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One thing I did learn was to plan my pages. This is something I did not do before at all, but this time I got my blu tac ready and once I had collected and sorted my initial pictures of my first few months, I started to pin down how I wanted them to be presented, and then found bits of cards, letters etc. that would fit neatly alongside them. For some reason the printing company I used but a black border around every picture which I had to cut out and then... I went a little crazy and cut some of my pictures into interesting shapes. This meant that the layout itself had to be pretty simple for some pages.<br />
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I also tried to group some photographs by theme. The page below all has blurred elements to the photographs and are some of my favourites of London. I have put a white piece of paper with the words "London is a blur to me" to give this page some cohesion, as well as it being a reflection of my feelings at the time and a homage to a blog post that I made on these photographs. I later added a bit of paper reminding me to actually write up an except from that blog post in that blank space. I am trying to create a way of tying in photographs which distinct memories and feelings and hopefully this starts the process of doing that!<br />
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I haven't planned what kind if backgrounds I want to use yet. I have some old wrapping paper from christmas (yep, I'm that kind of hoarder!) as well as some paper bags from shops that I plan to rip/ use as a mount for framing. You can see in the picture about that I found a gold patch on the back of a card and have used that to mount a photograph, too. I want to try and 'find' as much as I can: not only to save money, but to try and make this project which uses up so much paper a little bit more ethical! I have only planned the first few pages but in my break hope to do a lot more (including ordering another term's worth of photographs!)<br />
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Do you have any scrapbooking tips?<br />
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-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-16138204800075988762014-04-23T11:58:00.002+01:002014-05-04T21:57:14.180+01:00GivingRecently I have been struck by the power of giving. In the work that I am doing, a lady who faces debt and has next to nothing was intent on showing us hospitality, on making us a meal to show her thanks for our friendship to her, the way we have cared and looked out for her. The urge to give was greater to her than her economic need. Some might call that foolish, and we did spend a lot of time trying to dissuade her until she became offended that we didn't want to come. Culturally, our rejection of that gift was also a rejection of her friendship, even though it was with the best intentions.<br />
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As I pondered this, I realised that if I were in the same situation, I would not have been inclined to think the same way. I probably would have spiralled into self-pity and expected others to help me. I certainly wouldn't have gone out of my way to give to someone if I barely had money to keep myself financially stable. Indeed, I am not in that situation at all and yet I fail to give as much as I can. It was when I realised this that I remembered that I hadn't given blood in six months and within the next two weeks booked to give blood.<br />
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The only time that I could do so was on a Monday afternoon in a mobile vehicle in the Asda car park on the Old Kent Road. I was more used to a comfy bed in a church hall, but this was a cramped caravan which rocked every time someone got on and off the vehicle, meaning that the needle moved inside my vein. It was probably the least pleasant blood-giving experience I have had, and it took about three hours including travelling there and back on the bus, standing in line for the blood test, waiting for a bed to be free, for my blood to be taken, and for me to finish my packet of crisps to make sure I didn't faint as the woman before me had. Even as I vowed to myself that I would never do that again, I still realised that the time I had put it and the blood I have given (especially as an O- blood type) would be valuable in saving someone's life. I quickly remembered that the point of giving, whether it be your time, your money, your blood, your energy, your listening, is never so that you can get something out of it, or have a nice experience, or experience that lovely feeling. Sometimes that feeling doesn't really come! The point of giving is to do it with joy in spite of whether you benefit from it or now, knowing that it serving another human. To an extent, giving is sacrificial at heart, but it is no worthy sacrifice if done begrudgingly.<br />
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I know that the thing I am worst at giving is my time. I hate wasting time if I feel like I could have done something productive, and even more so if it costs me money while I was doing it. Yesterday, I had to push all these instincts to one side. I walked for half of my journey to meet a friend to avoid a bus fare, leaving ridiculously early in the morning to do so. I ended up staying with her for a lot longer than I intended, which scuppered all my carefully timetabled travels. I then spent over an hour on public transport crossing from Zone 5 to Zone 1 (which in London is expensive!) in order to pick up a gift for someone and repay someone some money. It wasn't necessary to have done it that week, but I felt compelled in my responsibility to give and to show love and care to those people; I simply had to do it. When I arrived, I couldn't find the gift. I thought that all my careful planning and worrying was in vain. After about 45 minutes, it was retrieved. It took me an hour and a half to get home on public transport. I had been out for 9 hours by the time I got back and had 'achieved' very little in that time. On the surface, it was a wasted day. But I knew in those hours of travelling, walking to avoid fares, worrying over everything that I was doing it not for myself but for the sake of others.<br />
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I wasn't, however, much in the mood to make my family dinner, so I still have a lot of work to do!<br />
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How do you like to show the power of giving to others in your life?<br />
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-Antonia<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-88696862963004221792014-04-09T21:57:00.000+01:002014-05-10T08:53:18.639+01:00Seven Month Review // March - April<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">It is that time of the month where I ramble onto my self in a very indulgent and reflective manner about how I have spent my month! This has been a month where I have really started to feel comfortable in London, stopped pining for change and accepted my future plans. As I was chatting with a friend just yesterday I realised how much I have learnt over our time out of the security of a school environment and routine. We reminisced together about how our families have started to use our rooms as a dumping ground, how it feels weird being cooked for and cleaned after when we return home, and came to the realisation that we have moved on into adulthood and independence. We also shared our frustration at the fact that whenever we are home, we're not only stripped of our independence but literally cannot go out due to the expense of travel which we used to enjoy freely and for free with school oyster card systems. I went home twice this month and both times felt a joy at seeing my family but at the same time a sense of moving straight back into my past life and my past habits, becoming a relic of myself. It's a stage transition which I'm sure will continue to get weirder when I head off to Durham next year and only return home after 9 week terms!</span></span></span><br />
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Now that nonsensical ramble has ceased, on with the questions!<br />
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">1) Weirdest thing
you have seen in London this month?</span></i></b><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
I went to an exhibition at the ICA last week and walked into a film piece that
literally blew my mind with its oddity. It was twenty minutes long and I didn’t
stay for all of it because I was too preoccupied with how strange it was. I can’t
even explain what it was like apart from the fact that it was based around a
water theme and sometimes had random hashtags appear on the screen such as
#supersurge and #swimjacobswim in all the most horrendous fonts you could think
of. I kid you not.<br />
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<b><i>2) Particular highlights of this month?<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Seeing a little more of my friends than usual.
With them all returning back from University for their month long holidays (I’m
jealous) it has been easier for me to see them, although still not as much as I
would like. This month I have..</span></div>
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<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Collected a free
breakfast from various stalls at Borough Market early on a Saturday morning.
There were muesli and granola testers, honey-covered pecans, Turkish delight,
hot spiced chai tea and lots of bread and cheese! I ate so much that I almost
couldn’t have fit lunch in (but we totally did). This day was topped off with a
walk back to my place and chilling in my room drinking cups of tea. Most of my
friends want to run rampage around London whenever they visit but this is was a
local treat for me and a better way of catching up than running around
everywhere trying to find things to do.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Saw Once the Musical
with a friend and was seriously mindblown about how much as cast of twelve
people can achieve in terms of atmosphere and dance routines all while holding
and playing instruments. The tube ads really do them justice! (for once)</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Helped my housemates
run a quiz night for their trips to Ghana and Romania. And my team came
joint-second!</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Climbed Monument,
ate THE most delicious meal at Banana Tree and visited galleries into the night
with Hope. It was a lovely treat after lecture days and one where I felt I was
cultured as well as spending time with a fabulous friend.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I also went home for Mother’s day weekend and I
have to say that I ate far too much food and was generally spoilt by my Mum
when it should have been the other way round. It was great to see family again
and take that time out of London and have a peaceful night’s sleep.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbxaRQiDMGifJTPw73nJGNIxF8aiJzYUkkiYG3XnkZZMOEw01ugDgYSYmkkwCCM9vzZpGyWQs9e0_m06suzB2q1OX4uRRzHsSOnAtG80QA_mUJ5T_w8j1Mfs3Vy7wJek835ntRriVXiFy8/s1600/DSC_1537.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbxaRQiDMGifJTPw73nJGNIxF8aiJzYUkkiYG3XnkZZMOEw01ugDgYSYmkkwCCM9vzZpGyWQs9e0_m06suzB2q1OX4uRRzHsSOnAtG80QA_mUJ5T_w8j1Mfs3Vy7wJek835ntRriVXiFy8/s1600/DSC_1537.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A wonderful salad from Borough Market! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snapping from Monument (far too many pictures to be included for this blog - this picture is courtesy of best bud, Hope!)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyzDMptZG5EMbLOgkXIQn3rd6sFB5MMftw0qRG3xo-nwYA5BFybO0AZbkFWHzsk93mIu8qb_R717pChdObKmNfvzB1MIk6YLfb314oSz2hyphenhyphenrTXAQM7VfKy9iozqK_PeP6Cklq4nuNhK3i/s1600/10150768_10152117221942739_1316541288_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheyzDMptZG5EMbLOgkXIQn3rd6sFB5MMftw0qRG3xo-nwYA5BFybO0AZbkFWHzsk93mIu8qb_R717pChdObKmNfvzB1MIk6YLfb314oSz2hyphenhyphenrTXAQM7VfKy9iozqK_PeP6Cklq4nuNhK3i/s1600/10150768_10152117221942739_1316541288_n.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quiz Night run by my housemates - it got even more packed than this and despite a debacle about a lack of rice for the curry, it was a smooth and hilarious evening!</td></tr>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><i><b>3) Favourite part of your work
this month?</b></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Most definitely the event that we
held on Saturday, and the fact that I managed to organise a huge part of it. As
in November, the cafe held a Makers Market, but this time without all the
Christmassy additions, just some Hot Cross Buns to remind us of the Easter
story. I had a far more relaxed day than at Christmas chatting to all the
people who I had been e-mailing since January getting organised and even
managed to buy some treats for my friends. It was a day that I thoroughly
enjoyed because it had a real sense of community engagement, with one woman
commenting that “you just don’t find people round here like you do in this
place”. There have been a few discouragements this month and things that I have
taken too much to heart, but this was a day which was full of encouragement,
although it was exhausting!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An example of some of the work sold at the Market I organised. This was one of my favourite stalls - everything looked Topshop but was all made ethically, by hand, and was incredibly unique! And it wasn't any more expensive, either..</td></tr>
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<b><i>4) Least favourite part of your work this month?<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I can’t think of anything that I have actively
disliked about my work this month apart from the fact that last week it was
very difficult to get out into the community as we normally do due to a lot of
things being thrown our way. But such is life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">5) Hardest part of
your work this month?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Last month I opened up about being stuck in a rut
of negative thoughts and I have to say
this continued for a while into this month and was combined with a lot
of people who we work with suddenly becoming difficult or being taken into
desperate situations. One lady in particular has, after us taking her to
multiple advice centres and acting on her behalf to sort out her benefits and
possible debt, decided to go her own way and reject this advice, and in turn
has become difficult and thinks that we have offended her. It is hard to love
difficult people, especially those who seem to slam doors in your face. In some
ways, you feel manipulated: you've spent time eating with them, chatting to
them, giving them your time and energy, all for them to decide that they didn’t
need you. We are trusting in wisdom from above to deal with these hard times
and to give us hearts that love the act of mercy so much that it flows from us
abundantly and freely. </span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
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<span style="background: white;"><br />
<b><i>6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Chuckles, challenges, cheerio! (British slang
giving one a hearty goodbye. My manager transferred this month and all our
housemates abandoned us!)</span></div>
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<b><i>7) Weird habits developed this month?</i></b></span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">I have found myself to be more of a freebie
hunter than I thought. As I look back, I see myself leaping at any chance of a
free meal that I could get over the past few months, such as in Borough Market,
but this last week sent me into overdrive. Our freezers are being defrosted
this week and the majority of my housemates are away, so that means leftovers!
So far we have made a huge cottage pie, sausage casserole, pie and chips,
nuggets and chips, chicken tikka masala and there is still more leftovers to use!
I worry how we will eat it all (but I won’t say no to two dinners!)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><i>8) What are you missing the most about home this month?</i></b></span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">My sister! Her texts telling me of how she wants
to squish Prince George are hilarious and I found the birthday card she gave me
last year which had such witty comments inside and it made my day. I’ve had a
bit of time to hang out with her but always among other family. Looking forward
to spending more time together when I get my week off!</span><br />
<span style="background: white;"><br />
<b><i>9) Best housemate moment?</i></b></span><br />
<span style="background: white;">These get more and more each month as our house
grows closer and closer. We are starting to feel like a little broken family.
This week there is only two of us not on our Easter break and you notice the
difference: when I come down for breakfast I expect to see one person and they’re
not there etc. We also happen to be the two maddest housemates and on Sunday
night cry-laughed playing chess. The best moment of all, I would say, is
celebrating a birthday in our living room with Chinese takeout playing Articulate
(and the next days windy aftermath...) </span><br />
</span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdBR_YQAL-PK1Pz6DUcYfrUAZ8f29pKzDjRK4JO02yb6IRE9zpxLNiV7T-DW6AZY-HxK6iO3XsRxrn451hJKiQe4i3yRgCNfoRAUmIZLL4Y8EwlJBiS_V9dSdTkZ1qG_xbMxDcfh19TWd9/s1600/wild.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdBR_YQAL-PK1Pz6DUcYfrUAZ8f29pKzDjRK4JO02yb6IRE9zpxLNiV7T-DW6AZY-HxK6iO3XsRxrn451hJKiQe4i3yRgCNfoRAUmIZLL4Y8EwlJBiS_V9dSdTkZ1qG_xbMxDcfh19TWd9/s1600/wild.jpg" height="472" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">A very blurry and bad quality picture, but one that somes up some of the hilarious and inspiring people I live with. It's pretty rare that we are all in the same room together for a whole evening dedicated to giggles and fun, so this was a picture I couldn't leave out!</td></tr>
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<b><i>10) Discoveries this month?</i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="background: white;">Granola, Rend Collective – The Art of
Celebration (on repeat), Banana Tree restaurant, Blackfriars station at sunset, Once the
Musical, Chipotle, my love of freebies.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2CMMuxv_L4ZDUuTTVwssvokyIZ6asrZwMLguteisevV1oC9MKw-1Yt-EDIr-zWYUJ2AQLZ88jGfldlZRrcU2Z4oOD_3P14D6u5XjUBnAOSuo43QKPzRowwmCCEdX2qc-2KueKW65G7OF/s1600/blackfriars.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2CMMuxv_L4ZDUuTTVwssvokyIZ6asrZwMLguteisevV1oC9MKw-1Yt-EDIr-zWYUJ2AQLZ88jGfldlZRrcU2Z4oOD_3P14D6u5XjUBnAOSuo43QKPzRowwmCCEdX2qc-2KueKW65G7OF/s1600/blackfriars.png" height="628" width="640" /></a></div>
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<u><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='550' height='350' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JPtIv2lnkTY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></u><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">What are things that you have discovered this month? Let me know so we can discover together!</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">Hope you all had challenging and rewarding months,</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">-Antonia</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-29086608260546539992014-04-04T23:10:00.003+01:002014-05-04T21:55:13.547+01:00VlogMash Vol.1<div class="MsoNormal">
One thing that I won’t readily admit to people is that I
have a small addiction to watching Youtube. Many people who are not part of
that community (which, to my shame, mainly consists of 13-17 year old crazy
pubescent fangirls) think that this involves watching viral videos, laughing at
people falling over and the like. But actually, my Youtube habit has become so
frequent that it has replaced the amount of TV I use in many respects and has
broadened my appreciation of many new different types of mediums such as short
film. The kind of youtubers I watch vary from sketch comedians, daily vloggers,
filmmakers and the general ‘vloggers’. </div>
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While many of the videos I watch are purely for entertainment,
some of the Youtube community use their influence in amazing ways. Recently, a
channel called JacksGap (a channel which was started by this lad called Jack to
document his gap year, who was later joined by his twin brother, Finn) moved
from making videos trying to get Americans to guess what British slang meant,
to stylishly documenting in four installations the Rickshaw Run across India he, his
brother, fellow Youtubers and friends did in Autumn 2013.
Together, they raised a six-figure sum for Teenage Cancer
Trust. Many Youtubers have also made videos talking about their issues with
depression, anxiety and the like, and by doing so have helped many to feel less
alone if they are struggling with these issues. They have in many ways become
celebrities, especially those who have embedded themselves into so-called ‘old
media’ alongside their channels, such as and men behind the channels ‘danisnotonfire’
and ‘AmazingPhil’, who have become DJ’s on Radio One on Sunday evenings (and
even won an award for it!). In other words, the world of Youtube has become
pretty impressive and there are ordinary people who, through their own hard
work, have created jobs for themselves in a way which no other generation has.</div>
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To celebrate this, and indulge in my own obsession a little,
I have decided to include a few of my favourite videos in occasional posts
under a few titles. This first post will have a range of videos probably made
over the last year and really are videos that have stood out among the
thousands that I have probably watched.</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><u style="font-style: italic;"><br /></u></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">1) <u style="font-style: italic;">The One that made me cry with laughter</u></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='450' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5LQOZwZc4Hg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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Yep, this is the ‘AmazingPhil’ that I mentioned earlier.
This is one of the videos that I have honestly watched multiple times and I
never fail to crack up at this poor man’s desperate past, the atrocious grammar
(which I have to admit that I used) and the way that people of such a young age
used to use the word ‘hun’ or ‘babe’. I used those words more when I was 10 or
11 than I ever did as a teenager or young adult. There are two more videos of similar comedy gold and I genuinely find Phil a hugely endearing character who I can't help but watch.</div>
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<u style="text-indent: -18pt;"><i>2) The Role Model</i></u></div>
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/22_kotDLxdY/0.jpg" height="266" width="450"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/22_kotDLxdY&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="450" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/22_kotDLxdY&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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Louise, known as SprinkleofGlitter on Youtube, is very much
a role model to many. She is a person who in past vlogs has told a beautiful
story of how she came to faith in Christianity through an Alpha course and this
faith shines through in her personality, the way she treats others so visually
online, and videos such as this which I believe are hugely important. I do
believe that this video even got onto the news and I remember avidly sharing it
around for awareness of many who I have known that have hurt themselves. I am
glad that her well-rounded videos and positivity is entering the lives of such
a young audience, as well as these important issues. She is also not afraid to
admit her moments of completely tomfoolery (see one of her most recent videos
about having a breakdown after meeting Kylie Minogue) and it is for her
normality and humility that I continue to watch her.</div>
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<i style="text-indent: -18pt;"><u>3) The Short Film</u></i></div>
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Ah, KickthePJ. I could literally have given you any of his
short films. They are full of vivid colour, crazy imagination and are generally
barmy. His films are generally extremely entertaining, humorous and yet
incredibly well done and presented. Many of them also include a rather swish
voiceover. Even his vlogs and the way which he puts his take on the
ever-growing ‘tag’ trend on Youtube -which has become so incredibly boring
unless done creatively- makes him completely unique on the Youtube scene. I mean,
who does a tour of their toilet (known, quite seriously, as the “Toilet Tag”)
and makes it engaging and even fascinating? </div>
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<i style="text-indent: -18pt;"><u>4) The Inspiration</u></i></div>
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This one makes me angry as well as hugely inspired simply
because this is the work of 16-year old Bertie Gilbert who decided to drop out
of schooling post-GCSE’s to concentrate on honing his love for film. His shorts are interesting and are clearly
influenced by Wes Anderson in many ways, and are pretty refreshing to watch
compared to the formulaic blockbusters that are thrown in the faces of the
gullible public every year. This video is more of an experimental video and
doesn’t, by Bertie Gilbert’s own admission, have a particularly meaning or
story. The fact that these moments were just edited together in some kind of
homage to old movies and this forgotten state of Britain, yet was published on
this hugely progressive media and interpreted by thousands in the comment
section, is considerably clever, bold and brave.</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;">5) <u style="font-style: italic;">The NewTuber</u></span></div>
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Oh, Aniamags. Having been subscribed to you for a year now,
I have watched you grow to nearly 10,000 subscribers through your wit and
general sass. Moving from videos where she used to joke about the guy she
killed and analysing lyrics of popular songs -exposing many of them to be
completely incomprehensible all the while- to her latter day videos talking
about whatever takes her fancy. While many might see her videos as a little
bratty, she has an on camera satire and presence which is pretty unique from
others that I watch. Her latest videos remind me of when Youtube was a smaller
community and videos did literally used to be talking to a camera without a
script, amazing lighting, a fancy apartment fire in the background and perfect
articulation that puts most television presenters to shame. They are authentic.
And recently, she posted the above video bravely opening up, if only a little,
about eating disorders. Which makes her, like, cool.</div>
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Hope you enjoyed this post! Do you have any videos or youtubers to recommend me? Any videos that have struck you, helped you or inspired you recently? Let me know in the comments!</div>
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-Antonia</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-81252131448927868432014-03-21T02:00:00.000+00:002014-03-21T02:00:03.907+00:00Instagram Collective #1Dearest Internet strangers,<br />
<br />
It has been rather a while since I stopped rambling on about myself and just let some photographs do the talking. I tend to use a lot of my photographs from Instagram in my monthly updates but as many of them are fairly poor quality once edited from my phone I have been including fewer and swapping them for a more slick photograph from my big-girl camera. However, as they are a fair reflection of my life and as I do tend to keep my Instagram full of London sights and moments that truly are captured on the go in my commute or just as I walk the streets, I thought they were worthy of a little collage.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL0-kj2nOrx_Gre0XEaKEiEpXqKgRqVeFfvfKa2WksA_ItnLojB7-CYZxlxCQaQTb9C1YRJIZz2Byz2qfm9tmL9ZvaP1dRrUoZhdBi_yq1hhScMJHEAt4AaPtm1_cS19Kg-xzgALl7JhnE/s1600/COLLECTIVE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL0-kj2nOrx_Gre0XEaKEiEpXqKgRqVeFfvfKa2WksA_ItnLojB7-CYZxlxCQaQTb9C1YRJIZz2Byz2qfm9tmL9ZvaP1dRrUoZhdBi_yq1hhScMJHEAt4AaPtm1_cS19Kg-xzgALl7JhnE/s1600/COLLECTIVE.jpg" height="380" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
How do you fill your Instagram? With polished photographs, pictures of friends from events, full of food, or full of sights that you see on your travels? Is Instagram just another way which we airbrush our lives through social media and indulge in vanity (thinking about doing a little post on this soon) - let me know!<br />
<br />
-AntoniaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-44116075729840662412014-03-17T20:11:00.002+00:002014-03-21T22:30:34.793+00:00Six Month Review // February - March<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It has all been a bit mad recently, and in the midst of everything I realised that this life-changing experience of mine is nearly over. With little over four months to go and with so much more of London to explore and so much more of myself to give and a great God to learn from and equip me, it is all been a little overwhelming. Well, that, and realising that my laptop charger has to be laid to rest (hence, the delay of this post). Once again I turn to the questions I set myself in September with a few additions to see what I am making of it all, and to remind myself of all I should be grateful for. This process has really been amazing in helping me to see how I am growing month on month, seeing my struggles and my burdens, what I enjoy and what I dislike.</div>
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Hold tight, there are a lot of pictures this month!</div>
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQDBaDCejxu5oAsOHElJUahXQSH1xR9bjq3n1ZEiByjLGSh552E1HDxJWqlJVGOtycBJR9rsNOSV6X4XxeHT5AvfL6NuAusdTwdPmSWTHX_XroVb9H9p9v4TPeZ-C04PqgBcVt0ZfuiLG/s1600/DSC_1458.JPG" height="428" width="640" /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilURm0iUydJ_1FRGsIZRP0qedC1dsIgcwljPqPtqCn3DwkfFXhMt53AnbIZzteq4GgW_1AP1Yv33GGjGojzMtB_wK3Eg29PnOUmmLUaw6ZtWXK7_WO-l3DDWjdrT67vQtKn1TURfUHNVkj/s1600/DSC_1225+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilURm0iUydJ_1FRGsIZRP0qedC1dsIgcwljPqPtqCn3DwkfFXhMt53AnbIZzteq4GgW_1AP1Yv33GGjGojzMtB_wK3Eg29PnOUmmLUaw6ZtWXK7_WO-l3DDWjdrT67vQtKn1TURfUHNVkj/s1600/DSC_1225+copy.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>View from Tower Bridge</i></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">1) Weirdest thing
you have seen in London this month?</span></i></b><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
When we were en route to Greenwich Park we saw a street performer on a ladder
with only his leopard print boxers juggling with knives outside the Cutty Sark.
I have pictures (but will show you the one where he is fully clothed!)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7xTuDzCVaqaxdbWNuC1b6ywX0esNasxPo9jv33r_UtVHtIIntfyQhSRQEsH55mbdYSVzlM5mdxoqmQWEL4dY2MfxOXFO0oMeZC33DfMqfc61xW9RWW3xtyaB26HMbVRVh5jM_1lRkdFk/s1600/DSC_1350+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7xTuDzCVaqaxdbWNuC1b6ywX0esNasxPo9jv33r_UtVHtIIntfyQhSRQEsH55mbdYSVzlM5mdxoqmQWEL4dY2MfxOXFO0oMeZC33DfMqfc61xW9RWW3xtyaB26HMbVRVh5jM_1lRkdFk/s1600/DSC_1350+copy.jpg" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></i></b>
<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">2) Particular
highlights of this month?</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="background: white;">I have already written about my main highlights
in <a href="http://mosaicofantonia.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/experiencing-other-worlds-part-two.html" target="_blank">these</a> <a href="http://mosaicofantonia.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/experiencing-other-worlds-part-one.html" target="_blank">blog posts</a> where I shadowed a few different things to get a
broader experience of my work. As this month I hit the 6 month mark and went
past the halfway point in my gap year it was great to try new things and get a
fresh perspective. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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things that I have been enjoying in my spare time this month:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Walking in parks. I
finally went down the road to Southwark Park and within the last two weekends
have seen Greenwich Park at sunset and picnicked in Victoria Park. Walking
around in the sun on my own or with others has been such a blessing and has
really made me have those moments of stillness which seem to be rare in a busy,
chaotic, messy London.</span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;"> I have been so blessed by my church, going to
people’s houses for lunch, taking a walk along Regent’s Canal, meeting for
dinner have been amazing chances to have a community of supportive and
interested people who are really looking out for me. This year has really made
me appreciate the gift of community and friendship and finding that in such a
densely populated city where everyone is a stranger has been such a comfort.</span><br />
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</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Actually, on
reflection, I’ve had so much time to dedicate to friendship this month and I
met up with two friends from school one evening and we walked around for a
long, long time catching up and seeing sights. Another evening I went to see
The Duck House and had dinner at Nando’s with one of my best buds who kindly visited
me when she was on reading week. More of this, please!</span><br />
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</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Going into
Shoreditch for a couple of hours and seeing Phlegm’s exhibition ‘The Bestiary’
at the Howard Griffin Gallery. It was pretty mesmerising and I just love the
fact that it felt so childlike, yet so grotesque, disturbing and horrific at
the same time. It was Street art in a hugely three-dimensional and engaging
form and though it was small, it was well worth seeing.</span><br />
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</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Getting lost in
Canary Wharf shopping centre with my sister before heading out into Zone 4 to
see our cousins and eat pizza.</span><br />
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<b style="background-color: #d6e9dd; font-family: Cambria, serif; line-height: 21.866666793823242px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: white;">3) Favourite part of your work this month?</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">I have really enjoyed seeing how thee cafe is continuing to expand as a community - we started a revamped sewing class a few weeks back and it is bringing a diverse group of people who are really starting to connect and make friends. We also had one of our regulars put up an exhibition of his artwork, from which he has even sold eight pieces. He couldn't be more chuffed and I am so pleased that we can support him through this, almost rewarding his longstanding custom!</span></div>
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<b><i>4) Least favourite part of your work this month?<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I have made a fair few clumsy errors. Think
tripping up stairs and smashing a plate on the wall, staining it with turmeric type
of drama. It is embarrassing and not exactly what our customers expect of the
atmosphere! I was going to have to take on a few extra responsibilities but
that didn't happen and I have to say I am pretty relieved about that because I
was dreading it to no end.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">5) Hardest part of
your work this month?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-style: italic; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">This month (especially the last two weeks) has been
hard simply because my energy has been low and I’ve been stuck in a rut of
negative thoughts: thinking I have to prove myself, do better, work harder, all
so that others can look at me and be impressed. I have always struggled with
wanting others to view me and see value and I suppose this is one way that it
is expressed. It isn’t intentional but when I sit down and think about why I am
disappointed with the day that I’ve had, it’s because I don’t feel like I’ve
done enough to be worthy of my place there. It is self-criticism which drives
me to despair and is not what my faith teaches me to see about myself. I am to
see someone who is useful even when broken and weak, who is valued in the eyes
of her Creator in spite of if she works hard, does better, is impressive or
valued or loved. </span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
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<b><i>6) Would you kindly sum up your working month in three alliterative words/phrases?</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Parks, peanut butter, pals [I was
clearly very desperate for a synonym for friends there!] <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>Sunset at Greenwich park</b></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh51MgE9AZbvOAuqlIrobvwenNxgtu1QmU9cmfYh57SXjJGjmbGsLmO9IRYVKSAI7GaiFY1QQp17yzGl8eAa9t4AhIZb-UAd-hBFink_1I9ISKgVT8kXtawDghkajJ0D8xJcB2QxjNCxeMU/s1600/IMAG2541.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh51MgE9AZbvOAuqlIrobvwenNxgtu1QmU9cmfYh57SXjJGjmbGsLmO9IRYVKSAI7GaiFY1QQp17yzGl8eAa9t4AhIZb-UAd-hBFink_1I9ISKgVT8kXtawDghkajJ0D8xJcB2QxjNCxeMU/s1600/IMAG2541.jpg" height="362" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Took a spontaneous trip after an afternoon of seminars to walk down the mall and luckily caught the palace just during sunset!</i></b></td></tr>
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<b><i>7) Weird habits developed this month?</i></b></span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Before I was going to sleep I kept getting hunger
pangs which could not be ignored (to the extent where I would wake up at 5am
with my stomach grumbling) so I have been regularly foraging into the kitchen
in the small hours to eat peanut butter on top of caramel snack a jacs or
crumpets. Actually, eating peanut butter twice a day was a habit I definitely
didn’t expect to become a habit at any point in my life once I left childhood.
Alas.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.633333206176758px;"><b><i>8) What are you missing the most about home this month?</i></b></span><span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.633333206176758px;"><br /><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">I suppose I miss that community which was built for years and the security that it brought. I always knew who to turn to and it feels odd catching up with people through texting or messaging rather than just letting a conversation flow. Luckily, I have made it my ambition to get into more regular contact with my friends this month, AND most are returning from Uni within weeks, or have in the past few days. I also miss simple things, like my mum doing the laundry and making me hot chocolate when I was ill.</span><br /><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><br /><b><i>9) Best housemate moment?</i></b></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Spending weekends together having lunch, walking down the Mall, going to the Tower Bridge exhibition, to the cinema, and even to Tesco (a huge supermarket feels like a very exciting quest to me and it is nice just to sit and chat to one person on the bus ride!) I have simply enjoyed sitting around the table having deep discussions and laughing together. Of course, dancing and ‘rapping, in the kitchen features heavily once again.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>View from the Tower Bridge exhibition (this is me trying to pick out the more 'arty' photographs than the standard view of the Thames..)</b></i></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">
<b><i>10) Discoveries this month?</i></b></span><br />
<span style="background: white;">Parks (!!! – although hardly a discovery, more a
rekindling of my love), crunchy peanut
butter, Genesis Cinema, frozen mango chunks, the beauty of simply making
that phone call to one you miss.</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">Hope you have all had some good moments in your month!</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #2198a6; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><span style="background: white;">-Antonia</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-20617524597508998822014-03-07T12:26:00.000+00:002014-03-17T22:03:17.175+00:00Experiencing Other Worlds // Part TwoI always thought that I was a pretty clued up person. I had a good education and worked hard, I try and keep up with what is going on in the world and enjoy watching debate shows (yep, this 19 year-old really has been living the high life, ahem). Not only has this year challenged me and shaped me and forced me into maturity, but it has shocked me, awakened me and stirred me to do more in my community, in London, and in the world. Being a Webber Street for three days at the end of February was a defining moment for me and a real highlight of my first six months of my gap year simply because it threw me into a world I thought I knew enough about and I came out wondering how on earth I had been so ignorant.<br />
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Webber Street (<a href="http://webberstreet.org/">http://webberstreet.org/</a>) is London City Mission's homeless day centre based in Waterloo. Every morning at 9am, around 75-80 homeless men and women (who they lovingly call 'guests') walk through their doors and receive free breakfast and the opportunity to sign up for a shower. The staff are seen busying around until the doors shut at 12pm getting the guests appointments at jobcentres around London, helping sort out travel loans or accommodation and feeding the extra hungry with Pret-A-Manger sandwiches (which are donated every day). Not only that, Webber Street offers genuine care and friendship for those who need it most, and of course, they offer up the opportunity for them to hear the gospel before they tuck into breakfast. Webber Street also has an attached work called Hope Community Homes which can house up to six former rough sleepers, where the staff will support them through getting benefits, jobs, and even helping them on the road to recovery from addiction until they are ready to live life independently. This is a brief overview of all the amazing work it does, but even that is enough to inspire me.</div>
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Working there was an absolute pleasure (besides the pungent smell) because the staff so obviously cared about the needs of even the most tricky guest. Many of the guests speak broken English yet there were great attempts to have understanding. Some guests were demanding and forgetful, with staff members making appointments for them which they never turned up to, or complained about the location of, yet my observation was that the staff were forgiving and accommodating and well as being disciplined and firm. On my first day I was shadowing someone, which involved helping to serve breakfast and going through an incredibly long-winded and complicated process to get them an appointment with the exact jobcentre of their choice which was demanded through someone else due to their lack of English. It was a Tuesday, where in the afternoon they show a film for as many guests as want a ticket, which also guarantees them a Pret provided lunch. It was amazing to see the simple power of entertainment and film to brighten so many days. After the day is done, the staff get to work cleaning the centre and kitchen before heading upstairs to the staff room to do admin work, eat lunch and any other jobs such as washing up. I decided to use this time to investigate the clothing store and help sort out bags of new clothes.</div>
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Walking into the room I thought I had entered some kind of trendy thrift store - I saw Nike Sweaters ("they'll fight wars for that sweater"), Ted Baker jumpers, Barbour jackets, and more. I also saw some less-than-pleasant sweaty shorts that someone had donated and it was quite literally the worst smell that I have encountered in my entire life and I couldn't stop smelling it all day, even when I went to sleep! Quite amazingly, the place was full to the brim and had a whole section full of bags of donations. I was told that this time last year, they were struggling to get donations. Just a few Saturdays ago, someone felt so moved by the work that Webber Street were doing that they drove to London from Wales to give clothes that their church wanted to donate. Incredible.</div>
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On my third day I spent the morning among the clothes as I and another staff member were put in charge of showers. Guests can shower once a week and Webber Street provide 15 showers for men and 5 showers for women per day and when they come for a shower, they can get new clothes to wear as needed. Many just take socks and boxers but others who are in dire need will pretty much get a whole new outfit. Old clothes that are worn or that have been in constant wear and smell bad as a result are put in a rubbish bag and thrown away. It was harder to get to know guests this way as you only see them through a little hatch and spend a lot of time running around trying to find the correct sizes of clothes in the right thickness, colour or style for them (some are surprisingly picky!), but it is rewarding when so many shout a "thank you" through the door as they leave to rejoin the rest of the guests and you know that you are doing them a practical service. My third day also involved a walkabout the area in a <i>very</i> fashionable high-vis jacket (which did make me feel extremely official) just to make sure that the neighbours in the area felt safe and none of our guests were in the kids park.</div>
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Obviously, I'm not going to put any pictures up of the main room as I feel like it would breach quite a few privacy laws of the guests and spoil their sense of safety within that place, but it is the place where I spent most of the time. On my second day I was overseeing tea and coffee, making sure it was always full and that guests didn't spill tea and coffee everywhere. It also meant that I could chat to guests as they came up for tea and some are surprisingly open about their past (one told me about their spell in prison with me barely saying a word to them first). But what amazes me is that although you are standing in a room full of people that perhaps have addiction problems, a history of crime or mental health issues, there is no judgement. The fact that guests feel like they can speak of their past doesn't mean that they are proud of it or boasting about it, but they are recognising their need to face up to it. When I watch the staff deal with a guest, they deal with them as every other human, as a friend. Sometimes the homeless are just lumped together in a ball of stereotypes, pre-judged as people walk by, marginalised and made fun of by the middle class comedians. At the heart of things, they are human, with human needs of friendship and love. When one particularly smelly guest sat down, the rest of his table moved away. I continued to watch and it wasn't long before two others came and sat with him, putting up with the smell. Guests sit in tables, mainly according to nationality, but even then you see a human spirit of friendship and care for one another that surpasses labels and past. </div>
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Before breakfast one day, I shared the story of how Jesus freed me from sin, which included a history of anger and violence. I was warned that there would be hecklers, but instead got a few claps and a few guests thanked me for what I said as I served breakfast and tea. The fact that I was perhaps able to give hope of a truly freeing experience through Jesus for one of those 80 people was a thrilling and honouring thing. I was able, later that day, to sit in the afternoon Bible study. It was less popular than the film afternoon by a long shot but there was a great desire within that group and I saw many people enlightened by the story of Jesus casting a legion of demons out of a man. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of all the demons that some of the guests might face being cast out of their lives, transforming their behaviour and leading them to a knowledge of Christ. No guest was a lost cause, and as Christians we should believe that more than anyone because we have a hope in something greater and more powerful than human effort and social action.</div>
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Exploring the other worlds or branches of London City Mission was exciting and eye-opening. From theatre stage doors to the hearts of the homeless, from Bible studies with Arabic teachers to a tenancy project with a difference, I saw London in a fuller and brighter way, with a fresh revelation of hope. Yes, my time at Webber Street was eye-opening and I heard facts about homelessness from staff that were shocking, and it has most definitely caused me to do my research, but facts don't ring true until you see the faces and the scars (and smells) of those they speak of. The challenge now is to take a love which sees through the stats and into the hearts of Londoners out with me into my daily work and, in faith, watch it transform that community.</div>
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-Antonia</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4848863949506552699.post-66414157503173065762014-02-28T11:12:00.002+00:002014-03-17T22:04:00.903+00:00Experiencing Other Worlds // Part One<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the things that I have always had in my life is
constancy. Since the age of five, I have always had school to go back to each
term and a house to go back to every day. Since moving to London, completely
changing my life and my orientation, I have become more restless. I want to
vary my boring routines, do different things in the evenings, work in different
places, and meet different people. I have seen other people’s hobbies and
thought “I want to do that” countless times; I suddenly have interests in more
things than I can count. While school stuck me in a bubble of comfort and
security, London and my gap year experience has blown everything apart and
forced me to rectify things through experience, learning and a lot of faith. I
have chosen things for myself for the first time, learnt brand new skills and
discovered skills I was unaware of previously. All this excitement has been
contrasted with a job which, although extremely varied, is constant, has a
definite routine and once again, I go away to the same home.</div>
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Sometimes you just need a change of scene, and during this
month I have had the great privilege of stepping out of my usual work in a
community cafe and into the other lands that London City Mission, the Christian
charity I am working for this year, have expanded their branches to. I have
been shadowing church-based placement, a chaplain and been involved for three
days in the homeless day centre with my housemate. Since these experiences were
such a poignant part of my February, I thought it best to separate them from
the usual monthly updates and highlights and chat about each of them
individually.</div>
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Firstly, I was able to shadow a missionary at the church
that I have been attending in East London. There were huge differences to my
normal day both in the way the days ran and the people who I encountered. I
started later and the day kicked off with us waiting in a cold room in the
downstairs of the church for three men from his English class to come for
further reading, which involved reading the Bible (Mark) as an aid. Only two turned
up, but it was a really interesting experience and we did that for the rest of
the morning, correcting their English as they read aloud, answering questions
about words they didn’t understand, and most excitingly talking to them about
who Jesus was in the small passage we had been reading. What struck me most was
how, at the end of the session when we just turned to chit chat, we learned
that neither had any English friends. It saddens me that so many people who
come into London only stick within their ethnic groups and that other Londoners
don’t attempt to cross boundaries other than to order an Indian or Chinese. For
all our talk about multiculturalism, it doesn’t actually seem to involve
crossing cultural boundaries in a way which leads to understanding and deep
friendships with those around us who were not brought up in Britain. The two
men seemed surprised when we offered our friendship. I was able to invite them
into the cafe for a chat with any of our staff as it is within their area and
is accessible to them (and conveniently is where they have their usual English
class). </div>
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After lunch we walked in the rain to do some door-to-door
work, which again was completely different to what I do for the cafe. At the
cafe it is about bringing people into the space to engage in the community we
offer there, more than it is having spiritual conversations. When you are
working for a church and inviting people to church, these conversations happen
a lot more frequently and naturally and I relish in such interesting discussion
(although at points it was far more intense than I was used to!). We then ran
over to a bakery who gives the church their leftover bread to give to the
homeless in the evening. After some admin jobs, we started to set up for the
GrowTH project which runs in the area of Tower Hamlets where homeless people
are referred and they then spend a night in a different church for 28 days.
Each week, my church runs one of those nights and there are volunteers who cook
dinner/breakfast and chat to the guests. The evening also involves a short
Bible talk and an opportunity to discuss faith. While some of the 15-20 guests
eat and then run to their beds to read, listen to music, or nap, others are
really willing to chat and it was amazing to find out that many of the men had
become friends over their time on the scheme and spent their day together,
helping and protecting one another. One of the best things about the scheme is
that over half of those who come on it between November and February last year
were rehoused within the 28 days. It is such a simple idea and seems to be
incredibly effective both in terms of social action and in terms of getting
people to consider their beliefs. I am sad that the scheme is over as I only
got to help on two occasions and enjoyed both very much. To find out more about
GrowTH and their vision visit <a href="http://www.thisisgrowth.org/">http://www.thisisgrowth.org/</a></div>
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My second day of shadowing was with the arts chaplain,
although he dares to call himself that as it is a role that the guy pretty much
created himself and is still developing, especially as it involves a lot of
travelling about to different theatres and galleries etc and runs off a very
flexible schedule compared to other chaplains such as those on the underground,
rail, taxi ranks or post office who have solid places to visit each day. The
day started off by visiting one of the ‘rival’ cafes within LCM, Cafe Eterno,
on Neal Street in Covent Garden. It is a lot smaller and sees a lot of heavy
traffic coming through, but still showcases art on the walls from independent
artists (the current showing was of a Turkish guy who another missionary had
met and put him in touch with the cafe to get his work up – and it was amazing
work!) and has a very strong, friendly and lively team running it. The prices
are notably higher than ours because of the location, however, and there is far
less of a community feel to the place as with such a busy area people don’t
hang about long, although they still have regular custom from people who work
around the area and enjoy engaging in healthy discussion! I was especially
please with my hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows – the most you
get at my place is some chocolate sprinkles. We then spent the majority of our
day visiting the stage door of different theatres including the Cambridge
Harold Pinter, Noel Coward and Queens where we spoke to different stage
doorman. Most of it was general chitchat but as a bit of a theatre geek and one
who formerly wanted to go into theatre, this was most exciting for me,
especially as one of the doorman had obsessively obtained the image and
signature of every person who had performed at the theatre which included
Helena Bonham Carter, David Tennant, Celia Imrie, Simon Callow and Rupert
Grint, to name a few. Oh, and he had a picture of Marilyn Monroe with
then-husband Arthur Williams signed and dated too, and the image had some
amazing nugget of theatre history behind it. How I WISH I had dared to take a
quick picture: his walls were completely full and he was now using the ceiling
(Rupert Grint, for instance, was on a pipe). It was quite a sight and surely
something I will never see again. Luckily for me, the chaplain had more
experience in art than theatre, so when it came to chatting about musicals and
plays I was really in my element!</div>
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We also went round the National Gallery in the section where
all the religious paintings from alters were. This is a section I normally miss
out because I have previously found it to be boring and reminds me of a part of
church history which makes me feel uncomfortable, where money was spent on
making a church opulent and a display of art rather than a contributing towards
a community of people reaching out to those around them. I now see these
pictures in a new way, looking to the stories behind them and the themes that
they convey rather than the time in history where they come from and the
excessive amount of gold leaf used to produce them. It was a most informative
time and this guy really knows his stuff and has such a history of working in
the arts field as a professor and curator, so I felt quite honoured to sit
under such knowledge for a few hours.</div>
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And so ends part one of this record of my explorations, into
two very different worlds which both capture my full interest and have very
different levels of glamour! Sorry that there are no photos on this post as I
didn’t take any on either days because I was enjoying myself rather a lot and
was too busy taking everything in. Photos will be included in my next post, be
assured!</div>
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Are you feeling a little restless, like me, or do you take comfort in constancy? Let me know in the comments</div>
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-Antonia</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01061892570724041671noreply@blogger.com0